Marmaduke Page #4

Bosco, stop!

Relax, baby! We're

just horsing around.

No, you're not.

You're being a bully.

I'm sorry, he gets this way when

he drinks too much drain-pipe water.

He gets that way

because he's a jerk.

You watch yourself, tomboy.

Come on,

we're out of here.

Come on, baby, are you gonna

spend time with them or with me?

It's a party,

let's have fun!

See you later, when there's not

any girls around to save you.

Mutt.

Bosco's right about everything.

I'm just a Gigantor freak.

Wasn't bred for anything,

but getting in the way.

You know, if I had a bone

for every time someone said,

"Put a saddle on that thing!"

or, "How's the weather up there?"

I'd be a bone-illionaire!

Just once in my life, I'd

like to fit in, you know?

Look, I know what it's

like to be an outsider.

Okay? I was a rescue dog.

Nobody wanted me.

But you're better than any of

those guys, and I can prove it.

I can make you into

the dog you wanna be.

Really? Why would

you do that for me?

Because you're my friend.

Wait, what time is it?

Oh, man, Phil's gonna

get up soon. I got to go!

I'll see you later!

You're welcome.

I just made it.

I am beat.

I am so tired.

I'm exhausted.

Oh! Phil,

hit the snooze!

Time for work,

big guy.

Oh, Phil,

you're killing me.

Winslow, Twombly.

I need that new campaign and I need

it yesterday. So what do you got?

Yeah. I got some

great ideas percolating,

I just need a little

time to flesh them out.

See, you got nothing.

No, you can count on me.

It's gonna be a home run.

It better be.

Yeah, bye.

I got nothing.

Bee! Bee! Phil, get him!

Marmaduke, relax!

Phil, I hate bees!

Get back.

Bee! Bee!

He's gonna sting us!

He's gonna sting me and give me

rabies! Phil, Phil, get rid of him!

Marmaduke, chill, relax.

They're just surfers.

Marmaduke,

you're a genius!

I am?

A surf competition

for dogs?

Picture this. Man's best

friend surfing towards shore,

throngs of owners

cheering them on.

How's that gonna sell organic

dog food to the heartland?

Eleven o'clock, Phil.

Listen, if you wanna sell to

the Midwest, I'll tell you how.

Be true to

who you are.

Bark Organics was made in

Southern California, embrace that.

Bring the iconic spirit

of the West Coast

to every dog owner

across the country.

I don't know.

I hired you to create an

identity for this company

and you're telling me

to be myself?

You know, we only have

one shot with PETCO.

I know.

But you got to

trust me on this.

All right.

One shot.

Make it happen.

Yes!

Okay, mutt-makeover

begins now.

First things first.

All right,

I'm all ears, literally.

Pig Cow is yours.

Check, Pig Cow's mine. Why?

He's a real confidence

booster. Of course he is.

You just chew on him

when you get nervous.

Noted and filed.

Next up,

let's smell that breath.

Whoa!

Oh, buddy!

Really, that bad?

That needs work. Okay, pedigrees

have dental hygienists, all right?

So garbage breath

is not gonna cut it.

Stay out of trash cans and

eat more mint-based items.

Okay, less trash,

more mint.

And stand up proud.

Your ancestors sat

at the foot of kings, man.

Yeah.

Let's put the "Great"

back in "Dane" here.

Yeah, like this?

Um...

You know, just maybe keep your

ears up, too, while we're at it.

Ears up. Like this?

Yeah, that looks fine.

Just out of curiosity,

do you think any of this

stuff would work with girls?

Did you

have anyone in mind?

Not specifically, just

thinking out loud here.

Oh!

Right, right, okay. No

one specific. That's good.

Okay...

Listen up, Barkanova.

If it were me, I'd want him

to take me to the junkyard.

It's really

romantic there at night.

There'd be a blanket

with some treats spread out,

music from an old car

radio playing softly.

Yeah, and lots of great

old stuff to pee on, right?

Oh! You've got

so much to learn.

Here's the deal.

Girls want romance.

You know? Mystery.

Wow.

What?

You know, I never really noticed

before, but you have really pretty...

Fire truck!

Hey, buddy,

we're talking here.

Fire truck!

Heel!

Oh, sorry.

Where were we?

Uh... You said I

have really pretty...

Got to go, buddy.

Work to do.

No! Wait, Phil,

no, not now!

Hey, where are you going?

Phil, I need this.

Come on. Let's go.

"Really pretty" what?

What?

Carlos, let

me ask you something.

Is my breath

really that bad?

A tube of toothpaste is a good start,

but you're gonna

need more than that.

Dude, watch it!

Just gave myself

a tongue-bath.

Sorry.

How's my breath now?

Refreshingly minty.

Who am I kidding? Minty

breath, better posture.

This stuff's

never gonna work.

These guys have real skills.

I could never speak gopher.

Why would you want

to talk to gophers?

Forget it.

Breaking into

new cliques is tough

and breaking into bird cages

is even tougher.

I just don't get it.

I'm a dog and you're a

cat, we get along great.

That's because

you're my hermano.

If we weren't related, I'd

scratch both your eyes out!

Don't make me laugh.

You could never take me.

I'd cream your

furry little butt...

Carlos, you're a genius.

What is he doing?

Say, does anybody

smell that?

I smell a cat

and I hate cats.

Cat! There's

no cat here.

I said,

"I smell a cat."

Where am I? Hey boss, there is a cat!

No, no, no.

This one's mine, fellas.

Is this a dog park?

I must be horribly lost.

Oh, yeah,

you must be lost, cat,

because this park

is for dogs only.

I got the tail!

You said there'd

only be a few dogs.

It's a dog park. What

do you want me to do?

The sun's out,

it's crowded today.

This is gonna

cost you, big time!

Fight! Fight!

Whoa!

What a crowd!

Who let the dogs out?

This doesn't

look good!

Please don't

hurt me, Mister.

I'm just a poor,

incredibly attractive,

ultra-intelligent cat,

who has lost his way.

You're gonna need all nine lives

after this beat-down, pussycat.

You are the biggest, baddest

dog I have ever seen in my life.

You also seem very

cool and confident.

You're right

about all of that,

you little

Fancy-Feast-eating freak!

Please! Spare my life!

Spare this.

Come on, sell it, man.

Sell it.

Really? Okay.

Left jab, left jab,

work the body.

Get back here, you

good-for-nothing little fur-ball!

I only

weigh six pounds.

This officially

hurts now. Stop!

No, no, keep going, keep

going. I think it's working.

Maybe we can find

a happy medium?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hey, everybody,

watch this!

No, no, no!

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Dizzy!

Hairball.

What's the matter, Bigglesworth?

Dog got your tongue?

Yeah, whatever, man.

Hope you got

what you wanted.

That was hilarious, Marmadonk!

Yeah, you're not

as good as Bosco,

but you took that

fleabag to school!

Oh, please, it was a cat.

It's not like he killed it.

You've got a keen

sense of smell.

Oh. Well, thanks.

It must be the large nostrils.

I have to go, but maybe

I'll see you around.

Cool! I'd like that.

Jezebel,

let's go. Now!

You know, I have a

pretty good nose myself

and when I'm around you

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