Married to the Mob

A girl went back to Napoli

Because she missed the scenery

The native dances

and the charming songs

But wait a minute

Something's wrong

'Hey, mambo! Mambo italiano!

'Hey, mambo! Mambo italiano!

Go, go, go, you mixed-up siciliano

You calabrese,

do the mambo like-a crazy

With a hey, mambo!

Don't wanna tarantella

'Hey, mambo! No more-a mozzarella

'Hey, mambo! Mambo italiano!

Try an enchilada with the fishy bacalao

And then-a hey, goombah

I love-a how you dance the rumba

But take some advice, paisano

Learn how to mambo

If you gonna be a square,

you aint-a gonna go nowhere

'Hey, mambo! Mambo italiano!

'Hey, mambo! Mambo italiano!

Go, go, Joe! Shake-a like-a Giovanno

'Hello, kess-a-deetch-a,

get-a happy in the feets-a

When you mambo italiano

Shake-a, baby, shake-a

cos I love-a when you take-a me

Mama say You stop-a

or I'm gonna tell-a Papa

And-a hey, jadrool,

you don't-a have to go to school

Just make-a with the beat, bambino

It's like-a vino

Kid, you're good-lookin

but you don't-a know what's cookin'

Till you hey, mambo! Mambo italiano!

'Hey mambo! Mambo italiano!

Oh, oh, oh, you mixed-up siciliano

It's-a so delisha,

everybody come, capisce

'How to mambo italiano!

- He's gonna miss his train, Frank.

- Tommy, he'll be here.

I'm sorry you couldn't

come over for dinner.

- What dinner?

- Last night.

Rose talked to Angie about it.

She said you guys were busy.

She never mentioned that.

We were watching TV.

You missed a good dinner, Frank.

I don't know what's wrong

with Angela lately. I gotta talk to her.

Right on time.

Passengers for the train arriving

on track four, please watch your step.

I love you!

- How do these people do it every day?

- It's like f***in' sardines.

Every time I think of you

I feel shot right through

with a bolt of blue

It's no problem of mine,

but it's a problem I find

Living a life that I can't leave behind...

I tell you what, Angela.

It all boils down to good follicles.

Youve been blessed.

One head in a million.

I ran into her at Foodtown.

- I invited her over for dinner.

- Yeah?

But Angela says they're busy.

Then, this morning,

Tommy is talking to Frankie.

- Turns out they were home last night.

- Stop!

Frankie didn't know anything about it.

She never even told her own husband.

Who the hell does she think she is?

Mrs D, you don't like it?

No, no. It's not the cut.

Thanks, Ray.

- Connie!

- Hey, doll! How are you?

Oh, look at you. A redhead!

- You look gorgeous.

- Oh, honey!

- Hey, Angela!

- Hi!

- How you doin', kiddo?

- OK. How you doin'?

You know me. Always lookin for action!

- You look terrific, kid.

- Thanks.

- That Frank better keep an eye on you.

- Yeah, right!

You comin' to the card game tonight?

Come on. We haven't seen you in an age.

No, I gotta help Joey.

He's having a lot of trouble in school.

Of course he is!

He hangs out with Tony Junior.

Face it, these boys will never be Einstein.

Come on over tonight.

No, I really can't.

Listen, I gota go. I'm real sorry.

Have a great time.

It was great to see you guys.

Bye. Take care.

That b*tch! She thinks her sh*t don't stink.

I have three cards.

One red - you can take all my bread -

and two blacks - that'll set you back.

Watch it, chase it, see where I place it.

- It's right here.

- That's it.

Give me five and you win ten.

Aw...

- Gee, I coulda sworn, giris...

- Tough luck, giris. Try again.

Hey! What's goin' on here?

- Hi, Mrs de Marco.

- Hi, Tara.

- Hm?

- Nothing, Ma. Were just playing.

- You playing for money?

- No, we were just playing for fun.

Right, guys?

I want all of youse to go home.

Joseph Francis, I'll talk to you inside.

I'll be right in, Ma.

- Hi, hon.

- Hi, babe.

- Goin out tonight?

- Yeah, Tony called a meeting.

- You playing cards at Connies tonight?

- No. What are you looking for?

No? Why not?

I don't feel like it.

Angela, when the bosss wife

asks you to play cards, you go.

I don't have to jump every time

Connie or Tony snaps their fingers.

I don't know what's wrong with you lately.

All the other guys, their wives get along.

Tommy and Rose invite us to dinner.

You lie to them.

They used to be your friends.

Now you can't stand them?

That makes me look bad.

How am I to get ahead in the family?

Same way you always have.

Lie, cheat, steal, kill.

Very funny. Youre a comedian now, huh?

I should get you on f***in Star Search.

- Mom, I have to go to the bathroom.

- Hey, hey.

Come here. I do not want you takin

money from those kids any more.

- It was Tony Juniors idea!

- Oh! What, that makes it OK?

- You playing three-card monte again?

- Yeah.

- How much you take from them?

- 12 bucks.

- Not bad.

- Thanks, Dad.

Thanks, Frankie.

I'm trying to teach him something.

He's only a kid.

- What are you looking for?

- My revolver. Where is my revolver?

- Here, Dad.

- Joey, give me that!

- Go to your room, Joey.

- Come on, Lucky!

Thank you, Joey.

That's great, Frank. That's really great.

It's not loaded, Angela.

- I can't believe it.

- I'll keep it locked up from now on.

It's not just the gun, Frank. It's everything.

It's this whole life.

Your life is so bad?

You have a beautiful house,

plenty of money, a great kid,

a husband who loves you.

What more do you want?

I want a normal life. I'm sick and tired

of the gambling, the guns,

bailing you outa jail, never knowing

when or if you're gonna come home.

Look at this place! Everything we wear,

everything we own, fell of a truck!

Sh! Take it easy, baby.

I don't think you're making much sense.

When I look at this house, I see

a swell house with beautiful furnishings.

When I go up in Joeys room,

I see all the things we give him.

Things you and I never had

when we was growin up.

Frankie, don't you get it?

Everything has blood on it.

I don't have to sit here

and listen to this garbage!

- Neither do I!

- No?

- No!

- No? What are you gonna do about it?

- I want a divorce!

-

Listen to Dr de Marco

for just a second, darling, all right?

You go upstairs, you take a Valium.

You lie down, relax.

You'll feel a lot beter. All right, darling?

Well, well, well.

What have we here?

It's Nick The Snake and

his two nephews, Al The Worm and...

Dont tell me. Vinnie The Slug.

Your common, garden-variety hoodlums.

Ah! And speak of the devil,

Cucumber Frank de Marco.

Bang!

The gangs all here, Mike.

Everyone except Tony The Tiger Russo.

I tried to play all the keys...

Hey, heres Tony

The Tiger

And I don't mind tellin you folks

From this mike here

It's Tony, hey, Tony,

no phoney baloney

The Tiger

Yeah, he's the paisan

the sun always shines on

He's Tony The Tiger

- Excuse me, Mr Russo.

- Sure.

- John, John.

- Tony.

- The Chteau Lichine is comin in.

- It's pre-Chernobyl, I hope.

Hey, fellas!

Butch. Nick.

Tom? Some glasses

and an order for you.

Tony.

Frank.

Yeah.

- Hows Angela and the kid?

- They're both very good. Thank you.

- Ive got something for you here.

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