Marvel Super Hero Adventures: Frost Fight! Page #2

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Dinosaurs.

And look how things

turned out for them.

Wait. Bad example.

I rest my case.

Guys, still in the room.

You wouldn't worry so much

if you had

my new-car shine, cap.

Now pipe down

before the kid hears us.

Whoa!

Thor's back already?

That was quick.

No. He said

it would take time

to secure

the casket of ancient winters

in asgard.

That was something else.

Tell me you didn't use

my private bathroom again.

I like your shampoo.

Smells like candy canes.

Candy? Hulk,

that's not shampoo.

That's foot cream. Ugh.

I still like it.

Should I come?

Guys?

Tourist?

He doesn't look local.

No, but he's making

himself at home.

Not in my house.

Nobody makes a mess

in my house.

Except you.

Easy, hulk. First priority

is clearing the street.

Get everyone

out of the lizard zone.

I'm on it.

Don't worry about the Fender.

I got that covered.

You're welcome.

Really? Rampages

make us all look bad,

extra-large dino-noob.

Heads up!

You do need to work

on your reflexes.

Thanks!

You wanna walk away

or fly away.

The flying option

involves punching.

Have a nice flight!

Back already?

Huh?

Okay.

So much for that plan.

Captain marvel,

you're air support.

Iron man--

hold up. I've got

a way to end this,

no rubble required.

Reptil, come here.

What are you doing?

Shh. It's a surprise.

Don't ruin it.

Kid, bust out

your best dino-head.

Uh, okay.

Does this work?

For a job interview

or a date, no.

But for this, it's perfect.

Huh?

All right.

Look alive, people.

No. Give the kid

some room.

What?

But that thing is--

ah-ah-ah.

There's no "but" in "team."

Or something like that.

Just trust me.

Uh, so what am i

doing now?

You're doing it already.

Keep it up.

But I'm not doing anything.

Exactly. Don't move.

"Don't move"? But...

Hey, it thinks I'm its--

ugh-- baby.

Ugh! Ugh!

Okay.

You can stop licking now.

How'd you know

that would work?

I didn't.

I just wanted to see

what would happen.

Kidding.

It's obvious

that that's a she,

and motherly instincts

are hard to deny.

That was a risky play.

High risk, high reward.

It's the only

game worth playing.

- Worth it for you, maybe.

- Not for him.

That's what I love about you,

stars and gripes.

Your glass

is always half full.

Of sour milk.

Is there a plan to--

ugh-- stop the licking?

'Cause...

I think I'm gonna be sick.

Eighth time's a charm, pal.

Honestly,

i feel good about this.

I am groot.

So when I say, "punch it,"

you punch it.

Got it?

And... punch it!

- Power down!

- I am groot.

Power down! Power down.

Power down!

Power down!

Why'd you punch it?

Oh, now the electrical's fried!

I gotta rewire

the whole thing!

And I'm out of wire!

I'm sick of this

flying scrap heap.

We need a new ship.

I am groot.

I know new ships

cost units.

I am groot.

I know we don't have

any units.

But maybe that's

about to change.

"Jolnir, a.K.A. Santa claus.

Mass burglary, animal cruelty.

Stealing cookies from kids"?

Well, this guy's

a real piece of work.

And the reward is...

Whoa-ho-ho-ho-ho!

Oh, we bag this guy,

and we can buy any ship we want.

Set a course

for this alfheim place.

Ah, alfheim,

the most joyous

of the nine realms.

How can anyone stand

a place this happy?

Even elves?

Agreed.

It's too warm.

Fortunately,

our visit will be short.

Now, where in this cursed realm

is the casket of ancient powers?

Mmm.

I suppose we will just

have to ask

for directions then.

Captain, is this

a hero's welcome,

or is treachery afoot?

Hard to say.

How'd things go in asgard?

All's well.

The casket of ancient winters

is once again in safe hands.

Nothing out of the ordinary?

Well, there was

one odd development.

What's the emergency?

Please tell me loki

didn't steal back that icebox.

No. We believe loki

has moved on

to a far more

sinister plan.

"We" is an overstatement.

Let's look at the facts.

Tony, the lizard attack.

Is there some footage

you can--

boom. Jarvis.

We know a creature

attacked the city today,

and we know that despite

its size and strength,

we defeated it easily.

Too easily.

Thor and I believe--

uh, he believes.

I, less so.

...that loki sent the creature

to distract us

from his true scheme,

which Thor discovered

while in asgard.

Thor?

I thought it less a scheme

and more a jest.

Loki accuses someone

of false crimes

and offers a great reward

for his capture.

Loki's target has many names.

In asgard, he is jolnir.

Here, he is known

as Santa claus.

Santa claus.

Santa!

Red suit, white beard?

Belly like a bowl full of jelly?

Drives a flying sleigh?

Reindeer with

a glow-in-the-dark nose?

Whoo! A Santa bounty.

Too funny.

Really? Just Thor and me?

Come on. You can't be serious.

Don't I look serious?

Sure. But you always

look like that.

For good reason.

It may sound funny,

but Santa claus is no joke.

No? Jarvis,

can you walk us through

the physics of Santa?

The simple version.

It would be my pleasure.

For simplicity, we'll assume

there are two billion children

on earth.

Using a census average

of 3.5 children per home,

that's 571 million homes

for Santa to visit

in only one day,

or 31 hours,

accounting for time zones

and the earth's rotation.

This would require Santa

to visit 5,116.5 houses

per second

while traveling

at 4,043 miles per second

between stops.

Now, the sheer volume

of pres--

that's enough, Jarvis.

Point is, it's impossible.

But I knew that as a kid.

Off.

Wait!

Not that it takes a genius

to figure out

this scam is impossible.

Nothing is impossible

if you believe.

Uh, sorry.

Regardless, it may be that Santa

has incredible power.

Enough to bend space-time.

Loki could use

the casket of ancient powers

to claim jolnir's power.

Both are said to be in alfheim.

But this has gone too far.

Jolnir is just a legend,

a myth.

Kind of like you,

Thor from asgard?

Fine. Maybe this guy's

Thor's cousin.

But he's not Santa,

because there is no Santa.

I'll take a trip

to prove I'm right.

Let's go to alfheim.

Heimdall won't open the Bifrost

to mortals for such folly,

- nor should he.

- No problem.

We don't need

your rainbow bridge

when we've got

my dimensional gateway

transporter bridge thingamajig.

I'm still working

on the name.

This is a fool's errand.

So stay here.

Someone has to work on plan b--

doing Santa's job

if something goes wrong.

You can do that

with hulk.

Ho ho ho!

We'll have

a Holly jolly time.

Your device is real?

We're going on a Santa quest,

and you're asking

if my tech is real?

Fine.

Has it been tested?

Sure. Phase one of testing

started... now.

Joy to another world,

huh, kid?

Yes!

We're gonna

meet Santa claus!

Are you well, sir?

Do you require aid?

Oh. Who takes pity

on these old, cold bones?

Commander athidel,

of the emerald guard,

at your service.

Loki!

Good eye, commander athidel.

So kind of you to offer help.

But I fear you are in

far greater need of it than I.

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