Mary Poppins Page #12

Mary Poppins:

Come along, children. Spit spot.

Mr. Banks:

Just a moment, Mary Poppins. What is the meaning of this outrage?

Mary Poppins:

I beg your pardon?

Mr. Banks:

Will you be good enough to explain all this?

Mary Poppins:

First of all, I would like to make one thing quite clear.

Mr. Banks:

Yes?

Mary Poppins:

I never explain anything.

Mr. Banks:

Yes. Banks here. Mr. Dawes! I'm most dreadfully sorry, sir, about what happened at the bank

today. I can assure you that-- tonight, sir?

Mr. Dawes:

Yes, Banks. We'll expect you at 9:00 precisely.

Mr. Dawes (Snr):

Without fail.

Mr. Dawes:

Without fail.

Why, yes, Banks. It's extremely serious.

Mr. Dawes (Snr):

We regret this course of action.

Mr. Dawes:

We regret this course of action.

Mr. Dawes (Snr):

After all, you have been with us a good many years.

Mr. Dawes:

After all, you have been with us a good many years.

Mr. Dawes (Snr):

As was your father before you.

Mr. Dawes:

As was your father before you.

Mr. Banks:

Yes, Mr. Dawes. I shall be there at 9:00.

A man has dreams of walking with giants.

To carve his niche in the edifice of time.

Before the mortar of his zeal

Has a chance to congeal

The cup is dashed from his lips!

The flame is snuffed a-borning.

He's brought to wrack and ruin in his prime.

Bert:

Life is a rum go, guv'nor, and that's the truth.

Mr. Banks:

You know what I think? It's that woman Mary Poppins. From the moment she stepped into this

house, things began to happen to me!

Bert:

Mary Poppins?

Mr. Banks:

Yes, yes, of course.

My world was calm, well-ordered, exemplary.

Then came this person with chaos in her wake

And now my life's ambitions go

With one fell blow

It's quite a bitter pill to take.

It's that Poppins woman! She did it!

Bert:

I know the very person you mean. Mary Poppins. She's the one what sings...

A spoonful of sugar that is all it takes

It changes bread and water into tea and cakes

Mr. Banks:

You see? That's exactly what I mean! Changing bread and water into tea and cakes!

Bert:

Indeed!

Mr. Banks:

No wonder everything's higgledy-piggledy here.

Bert:

A spoonful of sugar goes a long, long way

Have yourself a healthy helpin' everyday

An healthy helpin' of trouble, if you ask me.

Mr. Banks:

Do you know what she did? I realize it now. She tricked me into taking Jane and Michael to the

bank. That's how all the trouble started.

Bert:

Tricked you into taking the children on an outing?

Mr. Banks:

Yes.

Bert:

Outrageous! A man with all the important things you have to do. Shameful! You're a man of high

position. Esteemed by your peers.

And when your little tykes are cryin' you haven't time to dry their tears

and see them grateful little faces smilin' up at you

because their dad he always knows just what to do

Mr. Banks:

Well I mean, look, I, I don't think I ca-- -

Bert:

Like you say, guv'nor.

You've got to grind, grind, grind at that grindstone

Though childhood slips like sand through a sieve

And all too soon they've up and grown

And then they've flown

And it's too late for you to give

Just that spoonful of sugar to help the medicine go down

The medicine go down

Medicine go down

Well, good-bye, guv'nor. Sorry to have troubled you.

Jane:

Father? We're sorry about the tuppence. We didn't know it would cause you so much trouble.

Michael:

Here, father, you can have the tuppence.

Jane:

Will that make everything all right?

Mr. Banks:

Thank you.

Mr. Dawes (Snr):

Come in!

Take your hat off, Banks.

Mr. Banks:

Good evening, gentlemen.

Mr. Dawes (Snr):

Well, get on with it. Go on.

Mr. Dawes:

Uh, yes, Father. In 1773, an official of this bank, unwisely loaned a large sum of money, to

finance a shipment of tea to the American colonies. Do you know what happened?

Mr. Banks:

Yes, sir. Yes, I think I do. Uh, uh, as the ship lay in Boston harbor, uh, a party of the colonists

dressed as Red Indians, uh, boarded the vessel, behaved very rudely, and, and threw all the

tea overboard. This made the tea unsuitable for drinking, even for Americans.

Mr. Dawes:

Precisely. The loan was defaulted. Panic ensued within these walls. There was a run on the

bank!

Mr. Dawes (Snr):

From that time to this, sir, there has not been a run on this bank until today! A run, sir, caused

by the disgraceful conduct of your son. Do you deny it?

Mr. Banks:

I do not deny it, sir. And I shall be only too glad to assume responsibility for my son.

Mr. Dawes (Snr):

What are you waiting for? Get on with it!

Mr. Dawes:

Uh, y-yes, Father.

Director 1:

No, not that!

Director 2:

Steady on.

Mr. Dawes (Snr):

Well, do you have anything to say, Banks?

Mr. Banks:

Well, sir, they do say that when there's nothing to say, all you can say I-

Mr. Dawes (Snr):

Confound it, Banks! I said, do you have anything to say?

Mr. Banks:

Just one word, sir.

Mr. Dawes (Snr):

Yes?

Mr. Banks:

Supercalifragilistic- expialidocious.

Mr. Dawes (Snr):

What?

Mr. Banks:

Supercalifragilistic- expialidocious. Mary Poppins was right. It's extraordinary. It does make you

feel better!

Mr. Dawes (Snr):

What are you talking about, man? There's no such word.

Mr. Banks:

Oh, yes. It is a word. A perfectly good word, actually. Do you know what there's no such thing

as? It turns out, with due respect, when all is said and done, that there's no such thing as you!

Mr. Dawes (Snr):

Impertinence, sir!

Mr. Banks:

Speaking of impertinence, would you like to hear a perfectly marvelous joke? A real snapper!

Mr. Dawes (Snr):

Joke? Snapper?

Mr. Banks:

Yes. There are these two wonderful young people, Jane and Michael. And they meet one day

on the street, and Jane says to Michael, "I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith." and

Michael says, "Really? What's the name of his other leg?"

Mr. Dawes (Snr):

The man's gone mad. Call the guard!

Mr. Banks:

Supercalifragilistic- expialidocious. I'm feeling better all the time!

Mr. Dawes:

Banks, don't you dare strike my father!

Mr. Banks:

There's the tuppence. The wonderful, fateful, Supercalifragilistic- expialidocious tuppence.

Guard it well. Good-bye!

Mr. Dawes (Snr):

Banks, where are you going?

Mr. Banks:

I don't know. I might pop through a chalk pavement picture, and go for an outing in the country.

Or I might seize a horse off a merry-go-round, and win the derby! Or I might just fly a kite! Only

Poppins would know!

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