Mary Poppins Page #2

Nonsense. Bang on the dot, as usual. How are things in the world of finance?

Mr. Banks:

Never better. Money's sound. Credit rates are moving up, up, up. And the British pound is the

admiration of the world.

Admiral Boom:

Good man.

Mr. Banks:

How do things look from where you stand?

Admiral Boom:

Bit chancy, I'd say. The wind's coming up and the glass is falling. - don't like the look of it.

Mr. Banks:

Good, good, good.

Admiral Boom:

Banks, shouldn't wonder if you weren't steering into a nasty piece of weather. Banks! Do you

hear me?

Mr. Banks:

Hello, Katie Nanna. That must be heavy. Allow me.

Katie Nanna:

Hmph!

Mr. Banks:

What a very pretty hat.

I feel a surge of deep satisfaction

Much as a king astride his noble steed - thank you.

When I return from daily strife, to hearth and wife

How pleasant is the life I lead

Mrs. Banks:

Dear, it's about the children.

Mr. Banks:

Yes, yes, yes.

I run my home precisely on schedule

At 6:
01 I march through my door

My slippers, sherry and pipe are due at 6:02

Consistent is the life I lead

Mrs. Banks:

George, they're missing.

Mr. Banks:

Splendid. Splendid.

It's grand to be an Englishman in 1910

King Edward's on the throne it's the age of men

I'm the lord of my castle the sovereign, the liege

I treat my subjects, servants children, wife with a firm but gentle hand, noblesse oblige

It's 6:
03 and the heirs to my dominion

Are scrubbed and tubbed and adequately fed

And so I'll pat them on the head and send them off to bed

Ah, lordly is the life I lead

Winifred, where are the children?

Mrs. Banks:

They're not here, dear.

Mr. Banks:

What? Well, of course they're here! Where else would they be?

Mrs. Banks:

I don't know, George

Mr. Banks:

You don't know?

Mrs. Banks:

Well, they're missing. Katie Nanna has looked everywhere.

Mr. Banks:

Very well. I'll deal with this at once.

Give me the police station, quickly, please.

Mrs. Banks:

I don't think we need bother the police, dear. The facts of the matter--

Mr. Banks:

Kindly do not attempt to cloud the issue with facts. One fact, and one fact alone is crystal clear!

Katie Nanna's faltered at her post. She's let the family down. And I shall bring her to boo-- oh.

She's left us, hasn't she?

Mrs. Banks:

Yes, dear, only just.

Mr. Banks:

What, uh-- yes. George Banks here. Yes. 17 Cherry Tree Lane. It's a matter of some urgency.

I should like you to send a policeman around immediately.

Mrs. Banks:

The policeman's here, George!

Mr. Banks:

What? Oh, how very prompt. What wonderful service. Thank you so much. Good night. Come

in, constable. Come in.

Constable:

Thank you, sir. While going about my duties on the other side of the park, I noted some

valuables that had gone astray. I believe they're yours, sir.

Mr. Banks:

Valuables?

Constable:

Come along, now. Come along.

Mrs. Banks:

Jane! Michael!

Mr. Banks:

Winifred, please don't be emotional.

Constable:

Oh, I wouldn't be too hard on 'em, sir. They've had a long, weary walk today.

Mr. Banks:

Children, come here at once. Well?

Jane:

I'm sorry we lost Katie Nanna, Father. You see, it was windy. And the kite was too strong for us.

Constable:

In a manner of speaking, sir, it was the kite that ran away, not the children.

Mr. Banks:

Thank you, Constable. I think I can manage this.

Jane:

Actually it wasn't a very good kite. We made it ourselves. Perhaps if you helped us to make

one--

Constable:

Ah, that's the ticket, sir. Kites are skittish things. Why, only last week with me own youngsters--

Mr. Banks:

I'm very grateful to you, Constable, for returning the children. And I'm sure that if you go to the

kitchen, Cook'll find you a plate of something.

Constable:

Thank you, sir. I shall now return to my duties.

Jane:

Thank you, Constable.

Constable:

Good night, miss. Good night, ma'am. Good night, sir. Cook'll find me something. I never--

Mrs. Banks:

I'm awfully sorry about this, George. I'll expect you'll want to discuss it.

Mr. Banks:

I would indeed! Ellen, take Jane and Michael upstairs straightaway.

Ellen:

Yes, sir. I knew it. When all's said and done, who bears the brunt of everything around here?

Me, that's who! They don't want an honest, hard-workin' girl around here. They need a ruddy

zookeeper.

Mrs. Banks:

I'm sorry, dear, but when I chose Katie Nanna, I thought she would be firm with the children. She

looked so solemn and cross.

Mr. Banks:

Winifred, never confuse efficiency with a liver complaint.

Mrs. Banks:

I'll try to do better next time.

Mr. Banks:

Next time? My dear, you've engaged six nannies in the last four months! And they've all been

unqualified disasters.

Mrs. Banks:

I quite agree.

Mr. Banks:

Choosing a nanny for the children is an important and delicate task. It requires insight, balanced

judgment, and an ability to read character. Under the circumstances, I think it might be apropos

to take it upon myself to, uh, select the next person.

Mrs. Banks:

Oh, would you, George?

Mr. Banks:

Obviously the way to find a proper nanny, is to go about it in a proper fashion. I shall put an

advertisement in The Times. Take this down please.

Mrs. Banks:

Yes, of course, dear.

Mr. Banks:

Wanted. Uh, no. Uh, required. Nanny: firm, respectable, no nonsense.

A British nanny must be a general

The future empire lies within her hands

And so the person that we need

To mold the breed

Is a nanny who can give commands

You getting this, Winifred?

Mrs. Banks:

Oh, yes, dear. Every word.

A British bank is run with precision

A British home requires nothing less

Tradition, discipline and rules must be the tools

Without them, disorder, catastrophe, anarchy

In short you have a ghastly mess

Mrs. Banks:

Splendid, George! Inspirational. The Times will be so pleased.

Jane:

Father?

Mr. Banks:

Yes?

Jane:

We've discussed everything, and we're very sorry about what we did today.

Mr. Banks:

I should certainly think so.

Jane:

It was wrong to run away from Katie Nanna.

Mr. Banks:

It was indeed.

Jane:

And we do so want to get on with the new nanny.

Mr. Banks:

Very sensible. I shall be glad to have your help in the matter.

Jane:

We thought you would. That's why we wrote this advertisement.

Mr. Banks:

Advertisement for what?

Jane:

For the new nanny.

Mr. Banks:

You wrote an advert--

Mrs. Banks:

George, I think we should listen.

Jane:

You said you wanted our help.

Mr. Banks:

But, I-- oh, very well.

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