Mary Poppins Page #2

Mr Banks:
You’re right, you shouldn’t have.

Michael:
And we do so want to get on with the new nanny.

Mr Banks:
Very sensible. I shall be glad to have your help in the matter.

Jane:
We though you would and that’s why we wrote this advertisement for the new nanny.

Mr Banks:
You wrote an advert?

Mrs Banks:
Now George, I think we should listen!

Mr Banks:
But…..

Jane:
Wanted: a nanny for two adorable children.

Mr Banks:
Adorable, well that’s debateable, I Must say…

Song- Perfect Nanny


Mr Banks:
(standing up and taking letter from Jane) Thank you! Most interesting! And now I think we’ve had quite enough of this nonsense, please return to the nursery.

(looking dejected, Jane and Michael exit stage left)

Mrs Banks:
They were only trying to help. They’re just children.

Mr Banks:
I’m quite aware they’re just children Winifred, play games, sing songs, eat treats…. Ridiculous! (Rips up the letter and throws it in the fire as Mrs Banks stands by looking worried)

Mr Banks:
(Picks up phone) Hello, I wish to place an advert for a nanny in your paper.

(Lights down)

Scene 3 – In the House and the Street in Front

(Lights up on a line of nanny from center stage to the bottom of stage right steps, Ellen is peering out the door-top of stage right steps. Mr. Banks is in his chair reading the newspaper. Michael and Jane are down stage center, looking sadly at the line of nannies as though through a window.)

Ellen:
Coor! There’s a fair queue of nannies outside. Shall I show ‘em in?

Mr Banks:
(looking at watch) Ellen, I said 8.00 and 8 o'clock it shall be!

Jane:
I don’t understand, Michael. They’re not what we advertised for at all!

(Jane and Michael look sadly at each other as Ellen leads them off stage left. Market sellers come down middle aisle and side aisle with sacks or baskets of wares and gather in a cluster in front of stage left. Act as though they are trying to sell wares to the nannies and the audience.)

Market seller 1:
(with a full basket covered with a cloth) Roll up, Roll up, get your juicy tomatoes here.. just 40 pence.

Market seller 2:
(with a sketch pad and pencil, to one of the nannies) Come on then, let me do your portrait madam. I do a good likeness.

Market seller 3:
(with a basket covered with a cloth on his/her head) Come and get your freshly baked bread!

Market seller 1:
(noticing the line of nannies, nudges the other sellers and nods towards the nannies) What’s this all about then. What are they queuing for?

Market seller 2:
Apparently, they’re advertising for another new nanny! This will be the 10th new one in about 4 months.

Market Seller 3:
What happened to the nannies that left?

(Other market sellers shrug. Nannies start talking amongst themselves. Market sellers edge closer and listen.)

Nanny 1:
I hear that the kids are a nightmare and that they’ve struggled to find a nanny who can control them! But right now, I need the money and I hear that the pay is good!

Nanny 2:
I hear that the last time the kids ran away, they were nearly eaten in the zoo!

Nanny 3:
They just need some love and understanding!

Nanny 4:
A clip round the ear you mean!

Market seller 1:
You can’t treat children with violence.

Nanny 1:
And what do you suggest, a little talking to…

Nanny 2:
A count to 3

Nanny3:
Or time out on the naughty step! (All the nannies laugh together)

Nanny 4:
Now what they need is a nanny like me.. Firm but fair.

Nanny 2:
I think that children should be seen and not heard!

Nanny 1:
Well after the ones I've worked with, I can handle them!

Nanny 2:
Well I’ve known this family for years, father works all of the time, takes his job at the bank very seriously. He never spends time with his children and most nights they are in bed before he gets home.

Nanny 1:
I’ve heard that the mother is really nice but she’s quite dizzy, and spends too much time helping out with the suffragette movement.

Nanny 4:
What the Mrs Pankhurst lot. The ones that are fighting for votes for women.

All Nannies:
Votes for women….. yeh, like we’ll ever get the vote…. What ever next!

Nanny 3:
Well I feel sorry for the poor little mites.

Market seller 2:
Well you’re the only one! Round here they’re just a nuisance!

Market seller 3:
Well I heard that one of the Nannies had glue put on her favourite chair and when she sat down to read them a story she got stuck there until Mr and Mrs Banks got home in the evening!

Market Seller 1:
Do you know that I heard one story where they waited till the nanny was asleep and they shaved off her eyebrows!!!!!

Nannies:
Oooh How dreadful!


(Nannies start to hold on to their hats and look like they’re being blown by the wind)

Market seller 2:
Looks like the winds getting up!

Market seller 3:
It’s really blustery

(All nannies and market sellers are blown away stage right, down the aisle, and out the doors by the winds, while Mary Poppins enters with her umbrella up in front of the stage from stage left and to the bottom of stage right steps. Mr. Banks looks at his watch.)

Mr Banks:
Ellen. (Ellen enters from stage left) It is now precisely 8 o'clock. You may show the nannies in one at a time.

(Mr. Banks stands up and walks to stage left and stand with back to the door.)

Ellen:
Yes sir (Opens door –looks confused) Where are they all gone?.... (Mary Poppins walks past her and into the house. Ellen shrugs and says through the open door) You may all come in one at a time!

Mary P:
Thank you. Ahem! You are the father of Jane and Michael Banks, are you not? (to the back of Mr. Banks. He turns, surprised by her tone of voice and doesn’t answers) I said… you are the father of Jane and Michael Bank?

Mr Banks:
Well… yes… I mean…. Uh…. Have you brought your references? May I see them please?

Mary Poppins:
Oh, I make a point to never give references. A very old fashioned idea to my mind!

Mr Banks:
Is that so, well we’ll have to see about that won’t we!

Mary Poppins:
( Looking at sellotaped letter)Now then, the qualifications. Item one: A cheery disposition, I am never cross: Two, rosy cheeks, obviously. Item 3: Play games- all sorts. Well I’m sure the children will find my games extremely diverting!

Mr Banks:
(looking startled, looks at letter, then at fireplace) That letter, where did you get that from?

(Jane and Michael peek in from stage left and are amazed at what is happening)


Mary Poppins:
Item 4 – I am kind, but extremely firm. (Looks to Mr Banks who is looking into the fireplace!) Have you lost something?

Mr Banks:
It’s that paper… You see… I Thought…

Mary Poppins:
You are George banks are you not?

Mr Banks:
Mr Banks! Yes.

Mary:
And you did advertise for a nanny yes?

(Mr Banks nods)

Mary:
Very well then. I shall require every second Tuesday off.

Mr Banks:
Every second Tuesday (still looking confused)

Mary:
(looking doubtful) Hmmm...I believe a trial period would be wise. I’ll give you one week. I’ll know by then. Now I think that I should see the children! Thank You. ( She turns and sees the children looking into the room from stage left. Michael’s mouth is open.) Close your mouth Michael, please. We are not a cod fish! Well don’t just stand there. Let’s get going. Spit Spot!

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