Maternity Blues Page #4

They watch a lot of TV here,

they get influenced.

They know who you are, or at least

what they've been told.

So they look at you with fear

or pity.

What do you think of me?

I see part of myself in you.

I don't know, in your solitude...

Starting over isn't easy.

I've learnt a lot about myself

since I came here.

- Why did you come to Massa?

- I needed a change.

I asked to be transferred.

My husband was jealous

and violent.

But it happens to lots of people.

You just need to read the papers.

I like it here.

I'll try to start afresh.

Do you still love your wife?

If you do, you have to tell her.

She has to know,

even if she took away

the most beautiful things you had.

When you love someone...

something, maybe not everything,

can be resolved.

You can't be in the dark all the time.

You have to take it for what it is.

- What?

- The party.

It's obvious you don't want to be here

but it's part of our therapy.

Even if they don't tell you.

Sorry about before,

I was always at war with him.

He never wanted me to be right,

I was the same.

He'd rather have died than

tell me he loved me.

- How's it going, ladies?

- Great.

Good.

Seen what a lovely dress

Vincenza's wearing?

Well, it is a bit dated.

A bit?

Not even my grandma

would wear that.

Enjoy yourselves. Eloisa,

no more alcohol.

It's finished anyway!

There were six bottles of wine

for thirty people.

How many did you drink?

Eloisa's friends have requested

that she sing a song.

- Where's Eloisa?

- What?

Me?

They'll pay for this.

I wrote this song for my son.

# I'll leave my footprints

# To bring light

in the mornings

# That are too dark and obscure

# That make you feel alone

# Stop time passing, it's precious

Take a deep breath

# Listen to me

# I'll be your voice and your eyes

You'll be my eyes

# On a whole new world

# I'll be the love

that will accompany you in life

# In which there'll be no solitude

# Open your eyes, my sweet

# Towards the day

when you'll discover

# That so many things,

even if they're dark and obscure

# Will never cause you any sorrow

# I'll be the light

that will accompany you in life

# In which there'll be no solitude

# And it's from you

# That I'd like to start again

# With you, I want to live again

# And from here

# I'll understand, with you

# The way things should be

The things that I'll live

# With you

Here we are.

- This is it.

- I know.

- Shame.

- Why?

With everything we ate,

I could do with a nice walk.

You can make an exception

at Christmas.

Thanks for the company.

Thank you.

Merry Christmas.

Is that you?

Keep still!

Open your mouth!

What did Dr. Scalia say?

The hospital sewed hertongue back on,

they're bringing her here.

I think Trudy and Elsa

are in isolation.

For life I hope!

Psychopathic b*tches.

What else did he say?

He said I was better,

he gave me permission to do

work experience with Rosa, in town.

That's wonderful, Rina.

Yes.

- I'm scared.

- Don't be, everything will be fine.

- When will it be?

- In a few days.

Clara, Dr. Scalia wants to see you.

- I don't have a session today.

- Follow me.

If you don't feel up to it,

there's no problem.

We'll tell him, I'll do it.

- I don't feel up to it.

- All right, I understand.

I can't,

I don't know what to do.

First of all, don't worry,

we'll follow your wishes.

Maybe it's still to soon.

How are you?

Why did you come here?

Why?

Because I chose to.

You wanted to still be the husband

of a monster?

To have everyone stare and point

their fingers at you in the street.

Yes.

I acted wrongly with you too.

I was caught up in my work,

in my own things.

I thought:
"It'll pass.

She's just a bit down.

That wasn't true.

I've felt afraid of opening my eyes

too, at times.

Don't come near me.

You have to rebuild a life

for yourself, far away from me.

I destroy everything.

I left my job.

I sold the house.

I bought one in Massa.

Remember Versilia?

And the Apuan Alps?

You said it would be a dream

to live there.

In the morning, it's beautiful,

the house...

is filled with sunlight.

I run a small bar which is

how I get by.

I'm happy for you,

but I'm not part of this dream.

I have no dreams anymore.

You can't go in.

It's just to say hello, for a moment.

I'm sorry, the doctor

said no visits.

Mara, I won't stay long.

I'm sorry, you can't.

I'm sorry.

Tell her that

we came to see her.

All of us.

I'll come too, wait.

- Want a coffee?

- No, thanks.

Okay, all done.

I had one at the bar that guy runs,

the one whose kids drowned.

To know you lived with a murderer

who drowned your kids...

The excuse is always depression.

Every time it happens,

the excuse is depression.

These women are murderers,

that's what they are.

I don't know where I've been,

what I did.

Even if it's your child that...

and a mother should...

A mother is a mother...

Vincenza, what is a mother?

Someone who can never fail?

Maternal instinct, you say.

When Marco was born,

my mother said:

It'll come naturally to you.

I thought...

all women are the same,

it'll come naturally when I see him.

That didn't happen.

No one's to blame for what I did.

No one's to blame for what I did.

No one's to blame for what I did.

No one's to blame for what I did.

No one's to blame for what I did.

No one's to blame for what I did...

except for me.

What do you want?

I can't take it anymore,

you're an irresponsible wretch.

I hate you, bastard!

Everything has to go, take the lot.

Then disappear.

- You're an idiot.

- You're an idiot

I said you are!

- Mom, Luca hit me!

- That's enough, stop it!

One more peep out of you

and I'll take your toys away!

My darlings,

I gave you all the love I could

It might not have been enough

but it was all I could give.

Raising you was the best thing ever.

Now it seems like we had

such little time together.

There is no excuse, I know,

for what I did to you

Hate me, but let me love you.

You can't live without calling

someone your darling.

So that's what I call you:

my darlings.

Whether you like it or not,

I don't care,

I know that God will protect

all three of you

and that one day, if it's: "His will",

I'll embrace you again.

Good morning.

Hi.

- You're Rina, right?

- Yes.

-Auntie, Rina's here!

- Bring her down!

Here you are, at last

Have you had breakfast?

- Not yet.

- Great, join us then!

This is Sara and this is Giovanna.

Hi.

- Want some coffee?

- Yes, with milk please.

Put your stuffhere,

we'll take care of it.

Some days are calm here,

and we don't talk.

We work, we do what

they tell us to do.

Some days,

we're tired and serious.

Our faces are drawn

and our heads empty

We walk past each other,

almost as if irritated,

filled with turmoil

we cannot express

There are those who shout,

and those whose voices

I've never heard.

There are ones who

are affectionate,

who make you feel warm

and who smell nice.

I look at the tired faces,

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