Matilda Page #2

I did not glue my hat to my head!

The fibers fused to my hair!

Baby, wait a minute!

I'm getting it now.

Oh, my God!

From now on, this family does

exactly what I say, when I say it!

Here's your hat.

Right now, we are eating dinner

and watching TV.

Are you ready to get sticky

with Mickey?

Are you ready to get sticky

with Mickey?

Shut your light off.

For those idiots who don't know

how to play, here's how it goes.

For each correct answer, you'll move

one step closer to our cube of cash!

Any money that sticks to your

gooey body, you get to take home!

- Hi. Dad.

- Are you in this family?

Hello. Are you in this family?

What is this trash you're reading?

It's lovely. It's "Moby Dick",

by Herman Melville.

Moby what?

This is filth!

- It's a library book!

- I'm fed up with all this reading!

You're a Wormwood! Act like one!

Sit up and look at the TV!

Get real sticky

and get cash for free.

Let's get sticky!

- I didn't do it.

- Of course not, you little twit!

- I told you that was a cheap set.

- It's not cheap, it's stolen.

Put your light on!

Was it magic, or coincidence?

We only use

a tiny portion of our brains.

The events of the following day

made Matilda discover her strength.

- I need a car. Can you service me?

- Yes. Welcome to Wormwood Motors.

- Harry Wormwood, owner and founder.

- Agatha Trunchbull, Principal.

I want a tight car,

because I run a tight ship.

My school is a model of discipline.

"Use the rod. beat the child."

Do you have brats?

- A boy, Mikey, and one mistake.

- They're all mistakes, children.

- I'm glad I never was one.

- I'm gonna make you a great deal.

You had better.

Thank you. Enjoy it.

Thank you. Enjoy it.

Hey, you.

You're going to school.

You'll get a real education

at this place.

Matilda had always wanted

to go to school.

She tried to imagine

what her new school would be like.

She pictured a lovely building,

surrounded by trees and flowers.

There was a building. And children!

Regardless of how the school looked,

she was happy to be there.

After all, any school is better

than no school at all. Isn't it?

You... detention.

You're too small. Grow up quicker!

Heads up! Shoulders back!

- Sorry.

- It's better than being out there.

- Is that my teacher?

- No, that's the principal.

The principal likes to snap a whip

in here to see who's hiding.

- I'm Matilda.

- Lavender.

- I'm Hortensia.

- Does she really hit children?

No. What she does is worse.

Like yesterday, in the second grade.

She makes weekly visits to show

the teachers how to handle kids.

- Julius ate two M&Ms.

- And she caught him?

- Julius ate two M&Ms.

- And she caught him?

Of course!

- Was Julius okay?

- He lived, if that's what you mean.

She used to be in the Olympics.

Shot-put, javelin, hammer throw.

So she does this all the time?

- It's better than the Chokey.

- Chokey?

It's a tall hole in the wall.

a drippy pipe with jagged edges.

The walls have nails sticking out.

Get in, you festering bowl of pus!

I've been in there twice.

- Didn't you tell your parents?

- Would your parents believe it?

You must obey Miss Trunchbull.

No. Here she comes!

Ah! Fresh meat!

- Amanda Thripp.

- Yes. Miss Trunchbull.

What are those...

hanging down by your ears?

- You mean my pigtails?

- Are you a pig?

- No. Miss Trunchbull.

- Do I allow pigs in my school?

- My mommy thinks they're sweet.

- Your mommy is a twit!

- Chop them off by tomorrow, or...

- But...

But?

Did you say "but"?

- Hammer throw.

- Definitely.

I'll give you "but".

- Good loft!

- Excellent release!

Think she'll make the fence?

Get to class before I throw you all

in the Chokey.

- Lavender, what's my teacher like?

- Run. run. run!

Faster! Get in!

Matilda's teacher, Miss Honey,

was one of those people -

- who appreciates every child

for who she or he is.

- I scooped these up for you.

- How lovely. Thank you, Amanda.

We have a new student with us today.

This is Matilda Wormwood.

I'd like you to sit with Lavender.

You all know how scary the first day

of school is. so be nice to Matilda.

Could you get her workbook, please?

You can sit down.

Miss Honey was a wonderful teacher.

But her life was not as beautiful

as it seemed. She had a dark secret.

Though it caused her pain, it didn't

interfere with her teaching.

You've come on a good day. We're

going to review what we've learned.

If you know an answer,

just raise your hand.

We've been working on our times

tables. Who'd like to demonstrate?

Let's do some together.

- 2 x 4 is?

- 8.

- 2 x 6 is?

- 12.

- 2 x 9 is?

- 18.

Soon you'll be able to do them all,

whether it's 2 x 7...

- 14.

- Or 13 x 379.

- I beg your pardon?

- I think that's the answer.

- It is.

- Wow...

- You can multiply big numbers?

- I read a book on mathematics.

- You like to read?

- Yes. I love to read.

- What do you like to read?

- I've been reading Darls Chickens.

Charles Dickens.

I could read him every day.

So could I.

All right, take out your workbooks

and let's start with section three.

I'll be back in a moment.

Gotcha! Right in the neck.

Come in.

Almost got you.

Good to see you, Jen.

Time for one of our

little heart-to-hearts?

It's about the new girl in my class,

Matilda Wormwood.

Her father says she's a real wart.

A carbuncle. A blister.

A pustule of malignant ooze.

- Matilda is sweet and very bright.

- A bright child?

- She can multiply large sums.

- So can a calculator.

I think she might be happier

in an older and more advanced class.

You can't handle the little viper,

so you're trying to get rid of her.

- No...

- Typical, slothful cowardice!

The distance the shot-put goes

depends on your effort.

If you can't handle the little brat,

I'll lock her in the Chokey!

- Get it?

- Yes. ma'am.

Everything I do

is for your own good.

And the good of

those putrescent, little children!

- Mom. I'm home.

- How was school?

- I get to do sixth grade work.

- Hold on a minute.

- Can't you see I'm on the phone?

- You just asked me how school was.

- The baby wasn't his.

- Well, it was really great.

- No way. They have to be implants.

- The principal is insane.

- She threw a girl over the fence.

- You should wax yours, too.

I have the most wonderful teacher.

Mine are driving me crazy.

Six hours at school is not enough.

I'll say.

A whack to the belly.

A smack to the face. Burns is hurt.

Saved by the bell.

- Packages at this hour?

- Come here.

- Hello.

- We don't give money, charity...

I'm Jennifer Honey.

I'm Matilda's teacher.

What's she done now?

You! Go to your room, right now!

- She's your problem now.

- There is no problem.

Then beat it. We're watching TV.

If a TV show is more important than

Matilda, you shouldn't be a parent.

Turn it off and listen to me.

Come on in. Get this over with.

Mrs. Wormwood won't like this.

- Close the door.

- Who is it?

Some teacher.

- What did you do that for?

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