Matinee Page #2

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They used to settle

these things with violence.

That's cute.

Honey?

Hey, boy! Make sure

you get the bugs

off that windshield.

I hate bugs.

"She-gator," "gator gal,"

"gal-I-gator"!

Why don't you hold onto that.

I may not be around

the next time you need it.

What do you mean?

I mean, we're going

nowhere, Larry.

Matter of fact,

we're there.

If this picture's a flop,

I'm gonna look into real life;

which, as we know,

lets you out.

Wait a minute!

You'd leave me over money?

It's not the money,

Larry.

It's ducking the people

that are trying

to collect the money.

Excuse me.

That'll be $2, sir.

[Truck horn honking]

Here.

Thanks.

Hey, aren't you

that guy that makes

them Scary movies?

Well, yes, I am, Richie.

Pleasure to meet you.

What are you doin'

down here?

We're going to key West.

Preview my new picture.

I got a new process.

It's big.

Don't want any of the boys

from the studios comin' around,

steal it from me.

Wow!

Uh, could you --

thanks,

Mr. Hitchcock.

[Woman laughing]

Listen, don't be surprised if

we go on a surgical air strike

by 2400 hours.

Blow 'em up! Pow!

Cuba's radioactive

for nine lifetimes.

Yeah, where'd

you hear that?

My dad's Navy.

We live on base.

Ooh, I'm impressed!

What's your dad do?

Motor pool.

They still hear stuff,

though.

Maybe we're attacking Cuba

with jeeps.

It's only 90 miles.

Yeah, we put

pontoons on 'em.

Hey, see that kid

over there?

His dad's on one

of the blockade ships.

Yeah?

Hey!

Tell 'em

about your dad.

Um, well,

he shipped out but

we didn't know where.

Did he call you

from there?

They're not allowed

'cause of security.

That's tough.

Face-to-face

with Ivan, man!

Damn, got color guard.

Ah, man.

Look at Michelle.

Think if the bomb

were about to fall,

she'd do it with me?

[School Bell ringing]

Ask her.

Now, your red meat

food group,

you want to make sure

you have three servings a day

to satisfy this food group.

Breakfast:
Have bacon, sausage,

something of this nature.

Lunch:
A hamburger, pork

sandwich, something like this.

Then dinner --

[air raid siren]

[Teacher]

Okay, people.

This may not be a drill.

Single file, quickly.

Assume the duck-and-cover

position with your head down.

No talking.

Single file.

Let's move!

Okay, duck-and-cover

position, hands behind

the back of your neck.

No talking.

Everybody, heads down.

This isn't real.

If it was real, they'd

use different sirens.

How do you know?

My father.

[Teacher]

I said, "no talking."

[Woman] No, right now!

[girl] No,

i'm not gonna do this!

We're not having this

from you, young Lady!

This is for your protection!

Yes, but it isn't

any protection.

It doesn't do any good!

Keep your heads down.

If you think

it's gonna help...

To put your hands

behind your neck when the

bomb falls, you're wrong!

Young Lady, we've had

just about enough of this!

That girl's a communist!

Heads down, people!

If you die when the bomb

first falls, you're lucky,

'cause if not...

You're gonna get

radiation poisoning.

First your hair's gonna

fall out, then bleed

from your intestines.

You're gonna start

throwing up, but you're not

throwing up food.

You're throwing up

your own organs.

Eew!

Yeah, "eew" is right.

Principal's office,

let's go.

But I won't have

the protection of being on

the floor if the bomb falls.

I said, "let's go!"

They don't tell

you the truth!

They tell you put your hands

behind your neck, and they

keep building bombs.

What is that?

It's a man

in the bathtub.

He's leaning over

and scrubbing himself.

Oh, geez.

Tough. Where'd

you learn that from?

My dad showed me.

That is

so stupid!

What?

That trick his dad taught him.

Never give him a spoon.

Hey, Navy,

have a seat.

Good move.

Man!

What?

This sandwich!

My folks had a

fondue party last night.

Now I've got this sliced,

solid fondue sandwich.

Look at that!

Your folks are having

parties during this?

Well, they had it

already melted.

Any of you guys going to

that horror show on Saturday?

Yeah, if they still have it.

If they still

have Saturday.

Hey, that's deep.

I think it's called "mant!"

The guy who made it was on tv.

P.T.A.'S trying

to ban him.

Tough.

What's his name?

Lawrence woolsey.

He's coming in person.

He's got a new process.

What's the process?

It's things like 3-d

or when stuff

comes out of the walls,

like on "island

of the flesh eaters."

They locked the theater

so you couldn't get out

if you were scared.

Yeah, I heard

in this one town...

The projector guy

got so scared he died.

That was a different movie,

and it didn't happen.

That was the one

where they hypnotize you:

"The eyes of

doctor diablo."

Hey, Navy here is

a walking encyclopedia.

[Boys chuckling]

My name's gene.

They hypnotized you?

I don't know.

They guaranteed that

you wouldn't remember.

That'd be the best show

to take a girl to.

She gets really scared

so she grabs onto your arm.

You kinda sneak your arm

over in there.

Hey, quit it!

- Your elbow doesn't count, man.

- Sure, it counts!

What is there, rules?

[Bell ringing]

Hey, Navy!

Wait up!

We move every year,

sometimes more.

You move every year?

How many gym suits

do you have?

I have three wildcats,

two pirates, two cougars.

Wow!

You got a date

for that show Saturday?

No.

You oughta get one.

This is a kinda special place

you're in here.

Florida?

No, key West.

It's like

the make-out capital

of the world.

It's like there's

something in the air.

Even grown-ups like doin' it.

Get a date for Saturday

and see what I mean.

I haven't met anybody.

Just walk up and ask 'em.

It's easy. Like, "I'm taking

you to a monster movie.

"Don't worry about the monster

gettin' you. Worry about me.

Don't be late.

I wanna get milk duds."

Really, like that?

Yeah, 'cause you're

in control, man.

She likes that.

What?

Sherry, hi.

Hello, Stan.

Uh, this is my friend gene

from out at the base.

Uh, gene's father's on one

of those blockade ships...

Off of Cuba.

Oh, my gosh!

Is he?

You must be

so worried about him.

But, that's wonderful.

I think everybody's

thinking about "our boys,"

not that your father's

a boy or anything.

Well, he's forty.

I think people naturally

refer to them as "our boys."

And I think there should be

a special prayer moment...

For all of them

in study hall.

So do I.

Yeah?

Well, I guess

I'll see you guys later.

Bye, Stan.

Bye.

Hey, you okay?

Yeah, I'm fine.

The last guy she went out with

is in reform school. Yeah?

Yeah, this guy,

Harvey starkweather,

really bad kid.

[Gene] Wow!

I see that girl, i just --

listen, we gotta get

a date for you.

You wanna come over

after school?

Um, okay. Sure.

[Bell ringing]

All right, better hurry,

you're gonna be late.

[Lenny Bruce on record]

The entertainment capital...

Of this country

is Las Vegas.

What's the attraction

that all support,

all of the moralists,

all of the sensors,

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