Matthew 18 Page #6

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whatever people say,

about the things in order

to justify what they

themselves cannot explain.

I mean, I'm saying,

if you did your research,

on all these little stories

that you're telling me,

I'm pretty sure

there's a perfectly logical

explanation for it.

I mean it just takes

some research and common sense.

Nobody got common sense.

Listen, true story.

Straight up. Yeah, I know.

All right. Once I was walking

down a dark alley, right?

All of a sudden,

I start to hear some noise.

I looked around

and I see this huge dude,

who had to be like 6'6".

You know exactly what

I'm talking about.

- And you were scared.

- Hell, yeah, I was scared.

I know you were.

So anyway, I look,

there was a shadow

and then it just disappeared.

Hm.

I looked again...

Oh dude, you is about

to get jacked.

That's exactly

what I was thinking.

You know I know

when somebody's

gonna jack me, right?

No, no, no.

Are busted in the boobies.

That's what was about

to happen, yeah.

Mm hm.

Keela, go check it out.

Yeah, go ahead.

You're the manliest

among all of us.

I'll check it out.

It's your place.

You go check it out.

Damn. Y'all better call 911.

- Surprise!

Ha ha ha! Very funny!

- It's okay.

- Very funny.

Got ya, girl.

What the hell are

you doing here?

Oh. I'm coming by to

check on things.

And apparently it's a good idea

that I did because

you've had guests.

The drinking kind.

Now I've told you,

I maintain this place

and I will have no one person...

Look, Miss Hillsham...

The name is Mrs Hillshire.

Whatever. We're gonna get

one thing straight right now.

I beg your pardon.

No. I'm about to beg for yours.

I do not appreciate you

coming into my apartment

and snooping around.

Or are you sending any of

your creepy little friends

to do it for you?

You know, this is...

No. I'm not done.

I'm not done.

Nor will I have you

dictating to me

what or who or

what kind of friends

I will be having in here.

Miss Hillsham, you need

to understand, I am grown, okay?

I am grown.

And I am here on my own.

My parents, they're in D.C.

I am here because

of my decisions. Me. Okay?

And I did not fly all the way

out here to be dictated to

by you or anyone else.

We got that clear?

Hey, Michelle, have you

figured out the syntax structure

for the words...

Look at all this homework.

Oh, my God.

How are we gonna do this?

Freshman.

Hey, you're pre-med.

You can handle it, right?

Whatever.

Don't worry.

You'll get used to it.

Homework on the brain.

You never get used to that.

Funny.

So anyways, how do you

like Minneapolis so far?

Hm. It's nice. I like it.

- It's cold.

- Yeah.

But I guess you have to

get used to that, right?

Like sh*t.

And...

It also has its weirdos.

Up here.

Weirdos?

Yeah, weirdos.

Like, for example,

I was putting up

my mirror the other day

and right through the mirror

you could see this doorway

which was open.

So once I put it up, like,

you could see this lady

just standing there.

Like just looking at me.

She looked like

a homeless person, but...

Not sure what she was

or what she was

doing here.

Homeless?

Or a spy from Ms Hillshire.

She's the caretaker

of this place.

And she takes care of it

with her life.

She's so strange.

You know, I can't imagine

there being any homeless

creepy people around here.

There's a beautiful golf course

like five or six blocks

from here.

And, I mean,

they wouldn't let any

homeless people

hang around there.

I mean, these houses,

have you seen them around here?

They're super nice.

These people have got money.

And they probably have

the police patrol on here

all the time.

You're right.

So it's probably just a creepy,

nosy neighbor or something.

Or a spy from Ms Hillshire.

You know a lot about properties.

My dad's a real estate investor.

If I remember correctly,

he once told me

there was mad scramble

for property on this area.

Around the Great Depression

or something like that.

- Scramble?

- Yeah, mad scramble.

Mad scramble.

Yeah. Because of the demand,

I mean,

prices like shot way

the hell up or something

and people started

networking and

taking sides to get in.

Building contractors to

investment bankers all the way

down to factory workers.

He said it was crazy.

Yeah. I can only imagine.

Before the calm,

comes the storm.

See it's so peaceful

around here,

another storm maybe brewing.

Okay, you trying to

creep me out?

No, I'm just interpreting

what it says here in French.

Well, interpret something else,

okay, b*tch?

Just kidding.

Michelle, are you okay?

I dunno. There's too much

like creepy drama

going around here.

Wats's so creepy about

an old nosy neighbor?

Okay, nosy neighbor or not,

she was scary looking.

She was smelly,

like smelt like dead.

She looked like dead.

Like her eyes

were crazy unnatural.

- It was... Yes.

- Unnatural.

It was really creepy.

I don't know.

I can't describe it.

It's just...

I dunno, just like...

It was like she was

looking right through me.

Like she couldn't even see me.

She been back since?

No.

See then, it's that

li'l imagination of yours

running wild again.

She hasn't been back since.

Everybody that I tell

this story to,

says the same thing.

I swear, everybody is starting

to sound like me,

and I've become like this

spiritual and ghost person.

Okay, listen,

I know this lady,

and she's like into

ancient witchery and all that.

Okay, see,

I'm gonna stop you right there

because I'm not gonna do that.

Okay, well...

I'm not gonna call

your witch lady, Julie.

Okay. In case your creepy,

you know, neighbors and stuff

come back, that's the number.

No, thank you.

But I appreciate it,

I love you still.

You know, Tammy and them

are going out tonight.

You should just go kick it.

Hey, what's up, man?

How you doing?

- How are you guys?

- Hello!

Nothing nothing.

I'm just tired.

Hey! What can I get you guys?

Um. I'll have a coke.

A coke?

Really?

I got it. I got it.

Coke and rum for the lady.

No, no, no.

I can speak for my own.

Thank you and it'll be a coke.

Yeah, thank you.

You can give mine too.

You know what I want.

Thanks.

Can we get

a strawberry daiquiri?

Thank you.

Uh, let me get a...

Girl, get a man.

I've got a man.

- Sure you do.

- No, no. For real.

She does. She does.

She really does.

He told me that he was

getting out next summer.

He told me to tell you too that

this time get that Vaseline

Petroleum Jelly Intensive Care.

I mean, sexy or not,

you're gonna care.

Wait, hell no.

You're ass gonna be

the one to dance all night.

No disrespect,

but is this your woman?

Yeah, this is my woman.

What are you...

What you doing, man?

He's just gonna take her?

Stop it!

He's just being nice, so what?

You're not dancing.

Hold on, let Washington do it.

He's all up on her!

- Stop hating.

- I'm just sayin'...

I can dance better...

You can't dance either.

I'll show you.

Come on, baby, let's go dance.

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