Max Page #2

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...and I can't have him

running around loose.

- Why don't we just build a fence?

- That's a great idea.

- Easy, Max. Easy, easy. Easy.

- Who's gonna pay for it? You?

No.

If you do, I'll trick the neighborhood kids

into whitewashing it.

- Ha, ha. You sure this one's ours?

- I got the stretch marks to prove it.

- Here.

- Careful, honey.

Okay. Well...

...let's you and me

go get this dog some dinner.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

I did not sign on

to babysit Kyle's crazy dog.

Hey.

Kyle's gone.

So this dog is officially your dog.

Do you understand?

Your brother loved you so much,

more than you'll ever know.

If he did, he wouldn't have left me here

to deal with Dad all by myself.

Your father loves you too.

Just none of you Wincott boys

are very good at showing it.

If you wanna buck that trend,

I sure could use a hug right about now.

He'll tire himself out.

That's what you said about Justin

and he hasn't quit barking yet.

Justin! Get that dog to shut up!

Hey. Hey.

Dude, seriously, this is how it's gonna be?

Yeah. Okay. Sit.

Easy, boy. Easy.

Okay. Good boy.

Right.

Well, see you in the morning, I guess.

What is wrong with you?

- Justin!

- My God. Look, I'm trying!

Shut that dog up

before I come out there with my.45!

Man, come on over.

You'll be doing me a favor!

What do you want, Max?

What? What, do you want me to stay?

I can't stay out here all night.

Sit. Sit.

All right. Fine.

Just till you fall asleep.

Good morning.

Sweetheart, good morning.

I was looking all over for you.

You been out here all night?

- I don't wanna talk about it.

- Your friend called. What's his name? Chuy.

He says it's urgent.

You gotta call him back.

If you want me to start going to the

bathroom out here, I can do that too.

Sounds good to me,

as long as you pick up after yourself.

- Yo, Justin! What's up?

- Hey, Justin!

Hey, what's up, dude?

- Yo, half the bikes here are mountain.

- All right. Do a trick.

- I just do trails.

- Heh. What trails, man?

- I don't see you doing trails.

- Hey. Hey.

Hey, what's up, man?

Yo, Justin, how you ride?

- Like this?

- Yo, shut up, man.

- Yo, sorry to call your house, but...

- Emilio was breathing down your neck?

- Because you never gave him...

- Is this the new one?

That's for Emilio.

You took off like your pants were on fire

when my dad came out.

- I don't mess with no war heroes, B.

- War heroes?

I heard your pops got his leg shot up

in a crazy firefight in 'Nam.

It was Iraq. But whatever.

Yo, he was like:

Cool under fire?

- No, we... It's like a, um...

- And that's my cousin, Carmen.

Why you looking at me like that?

Think I should look like the maid?

Should I be wearing an apron?

Or no, maybe overalls would be better?

Ooh.

- You got a lot of cousins.

- Tell me about it.

She's staying with us, man.

I can't even sit on my own couch, B.

My uncle chased her out

with a machete.

Why you always making up stories

all the time?

Wait, what happened?

- Yo, check it out.

- That's cool.

We were at dinner. Pop told me

to have it removed or he'd do it for me.

So I slid over my knife, said, "Go ahead."

He got up, called my aunt, told her

he didn't wanna see me anymore.

So she said for me to come over.

End of story.

Trust me, machetes were involved.

- Come on, B. Ride with us.

- No, man. I gotta go take care of that dog, so...

Yo, your brother's war dog, right?

I heard he's loco, homes.

My cousin Felix works up at the church,

said he tore up like 10 Marines.

- Put them in the hospital.

- He didn't put anybody in the hospital.

You got an MWD? What kind?

- What kind?

- Your dog. What breed is he?

Yeah, um. He's like a German shepherd.

Like black in his face.

- Belgian Malinois.

- Mallen-what?

Cool dog.

He's crazy, actually. I'm the only one he'll

let near him. Won't even let me touch him.

Just gotta be patient with him.

He'll come around.

She's like the chick version of Cesar

Millan. Got the mustache and everything.

Don't touch me.

Hey. If you want, I can come over

and show you a few tricks.

Ooh.

Yeah, sure. Why not?

How about later, so I can cook

up some treats? Say, 3:00?

- Cool.

- Cool.

- What just happened?

- You're stupid. That's what just happened.

Hey. Easy.

Yo. That dog reminds me of your pops.

Maybe this was a bad idea.

Pink Floyd.

You're one of those deep ones?

Hey, there, Max. Like some home cooking?

Smells nice, doesn't it?

Hey, I wouldn't get too close to him.

This is close enough for now.

Let him think about it for a minute.

Yo, I'm out. Carmen, you get

bit, it ain't my fault, right?

Hey, no, Chuy.

You can stay if you want.

- Not if your mean old man is around.

- He's at work, dude.

That man ain't got no love for his light

brown brothers. Know what I'm saying?

That's messed up. The way you let Chuy

hate on your dad like that.

- That's cold.

- Are you serious?

I can say whatever I want about my old man.

Someone else disrespects him,

go upside their head.

- It's called being loyal.

- It's called being psycho...

...so you and Max

should get along pretty well.

I'm not the one he has to get along with. Don't

give this to him until he lets you touch him.

So how'd you get to be such an expert

in all this? Do you have credentials or...

You gonna eat that carnita

or are you gonna give it to your dog?

- Don't do it, man!

- Chuy.

- Are you trying to get my boy killed?

- Shut up, Chuy!

- Maybe I should just give it to him first.

- No, it's a reward.

You can't get a reward

if you didn't do anything to deserve it.

Okay.

It's a start. You got a leash?

Heel. You don't let your dog walk you,

you walk your dog.

Dogs run in packs so if he's leading you,

he's leading the pack.

My brother said Max

was like a specialized search dog.

He could go out in front of his handler

for like 300 yards.

Locate weapons and explosives and stuff.

Yo, we got the Air Jordan of dogs here,

man. You got him shooting layups?

- Sorry, Chuy. Did you wanna try walking him?

- Heck, no. Are you crazy?

Make sure to keep him

to your left a little bit.

All right, Max, you're such a superstar,

let's see you work off-leash.

I don't think it's a good idea. If something

happens, my dad will kill me, so...

No guts, no glory.

Now walk with him like you were just doing.

Heel, Max.

Well, I do not believe what I'm seeing.

- How'd you get him to do that?

- He already knew.

We were just refreshing his memory.

Mom, this is Carmen.

She's Chuy's cousin.

- She's, real good with dogs.

- Well, I can see that.

- Nice to meet you, Carmen. Hi, Chuy.

- Ma'am.

I was thinking that, you know,

we could just give Max to her.

No such luck, Chuck. That's your dog.

But I'm fixing to start supper. If y'all

are hungry, you're welcome to stay.

Thanks, ma'am. I'd be glad to.

Thanks. I gotta go home, make sure

the border patrol hasn't invaded my house.

I'll tell my moms gringos have kidnapped

my cousin. Y'all have fun.

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