Maya Dardel Page #5

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of civil war uniforms.

Yeah, yes, and it's interesting

to imagine in the

other direction,

a schism that is

um, blue in quality.

But there's a certain

fetishism in just

plunking it in the poem.

Um, it, uh, it shows

your hand a little.

- I don't mind showing my hand.

- Well, you should.

- Plus it rhymes, plus

it adds to the Icarus

theme so that's four

uh, layers there and...

- yes, your poetry is layered.

As I said, it's

impressive, more impressive

than my way of talking

about it probably implies.

But that's not the point.

Your schism-blue is

a little too obviously

infatuated with its

own layered prettiness.

- Oh well, that only

matters right now, I mean,

when I'm dead, if people

read my books, they'll,

if people read books when

I'm dead, they'll um,

think of my schism-blue

eye flooding floor

the way they look at Joyce's

smoke blue mobile eyes.

Or hart crane's rip-tooth

of the sky's acetylene.

- Sure, sure, death beautifies

even the ugliest vanity.

Ever looked at photographs

of contemporary authors,

pompous, and have you

ever thought about

how romantic they will

seem in 100 years?

We're soon to be

extinct, I think.

We're like the dodos

and the aristocrats.

So this is my surprise?

Very impressive.

I don't eat mushrooms

from my driveway.

- Why not?

If I'm wrong, and there's

only a 1% chance that I am,

then um, the worst thing that'll

happen is that we'll die.

You want that.

- Yeah, but Ansel, I

don't want to die in pain,

covered with my own

vomit and yours.

- These are Chanterelles.

I'd like to make you an omelet.

Do you have any um, any

interesting cheeses?

Hm.

Garlic?

- I have some strange

Israeli frozen garlic.

Um, it's really from,

it's probably actually

from China and covered

with pulverized horse.

I'm gonna put this

for 30 minutes.

If we're alive when it

goes off, hurrah for us.

Tell me more about

this harlot mother.

- Mine?

- Yes, yours.

Mine was a simpleton

with no desires.

I'm interested in ambitious

women, even shallow ones.

- My mother's never honest.

She plays games.

- Give me an example.

- I don't know,

she doesn't realize

she's playing mind games.

And then I'm forced

to play them with her.

- Like you're

forced to play with me?

- No, you're very aware

of the games you play.

- Is she my age?

- Slightly older.

- How does she mindfuck you?

Give me examples.

- She claimed that she

didn't get any sleep

at all because

she had this dream

that she and my sister

and I were all at some...

- you have a sister?

- Zoe, yes.

- Mm.

- And in this dream that

she claims that she had,

Karl, my father's brother,

knocked me over the head with

a microphone stand and told

me that my father wasn't my

real father, but that my father

was my sister's real father.

- Zoe's older?

- She's younger.

Anyway she called me to

tell me she dreamed that.

- What did you say?

- I said I don't know if I find

people's dreams interesting,

but I certainly find

people's interest

in their own dreams interesting.

- Mm.

Do you think you're

your father's son?

- I do, I think my mother had

a bad dream and couldn't help

but jab me with it, just to

put a little needle in me.

- Hm, maybe

she wanted attention.

- She always wants attention.

- Were you nice to her about it?

- I was nice, I guess.

- Mm.

We have 15 minutes.

'Til the toxin takes effect.

Do you know the first signs

of mushroom poisoning

in a pregnant woman?

Her breasts shoot milk.

I read this in a novel,

so it must be true.

Your body confuses the toxin

arresting your

system for a baby.

I like that.

Ever heard of ovarian

insufficiency?

There's material for a bad poet.

Hm, go get the phone.

I'd ask you to use your own

but reception is

so weak up here.

- Who are you calling?

- Your mother, of course.

- What, why?

- In these last minutes of

your life, it's important

to tell those close to you what

you really think about them.

Go ahead.

Tell your mother

what you told me,

that she's unsophisticated

and manipulative.

You want my estate, don't you?

- Yes, just stop asking that.

- How much do you want it?

- I think...

I could live here with

and take care of you,

whether you were dead or alive.

- Go ahead, take care of me.

Show me you'll do perverse

things out of loyalty to me.

We don't have all day.

- I made a mistake.

I don't think she's gonna...

- hello?

- Hi.

No, it's me.

No, I just wanted to

tell you something.

I want to tell you something.

No. No, no, you

don't have a choice.

The city makes you pay them.

No, I want to tell

you something.

Will you let me speak?

You're a solipsist.

- What?

- A solipsist.

You don't know anything

about anybody but you.

You don't know why

people do things.

No, you think that people either

are against you or obsessed

with you, there's, you don't

really see any grayer areas.

No, you don't know

how you're perceived.

Please, please don't cry.

- Tell her those news

anchor barbarians,

that they used her for sex.

And your sister's

name is Zoe, right?

Tell her Zoe hates her.

Zoe hates her.

- Zoe hates you.

She hung up before I said that.

- Thank you, you did well.

Go clean your face.

Are you really

walking your rat dogs

or did you come over

here to check on me?

- Which boy was that?

- That's Paul.

- Hmm, what if

somebody called the cops?

You ever thought about that?

Someone called the cops

on me a buncha times.

- The police already called.

- Oh, yeah?

- Several weeks ago.

I told them I was proud of

them for listening to NPR.

Ah, this social worker

cop, his name's Alfonso.

Do you like the name Alfonso?

Could you unsarcastically

f*** a man with that name?

- I've never sarcastically

f***ed anyone.

That's your department.

- I told him thanks for your

interest in contemporary

literature and no, I'm

not a threat to myself

but merely someone who

enjoys speaking in metaphors.

- Oh god.

Go already, squat.

- And I told them if

they started listening

to other interviews with

writers, they would have

to worry, we're all

threats to our own person.

You're more of a threat

to others, I'd say.

- I'm going to drop

acid on Sunday.

- This is a great idea.

I need your help with something.

- I'm pretty much

immune to it, these days.

- I need you to know

that I'm utterly sane.

Even if I go.

- No, no, no.

- Yes, dear, it's um,

it's time to sail away.

- You do, and I'll

piss on your grave.

- Well, as Ansel says,

I'm a cruel person.

- You better not be.

- However I'm perfectly sane.

Whatever I do, I do

out of pure will, okay?

Not hysteria.

- What you did yesterday was...

- I know, I know.

- Why did you make me do that?

- I, I don't know.

I get carried away by power.

I really like it.

I think maybe I haven't

had enough of it.

People don't like a woman with

too much power.

I'd run for president except

a monstrous woman

isn't sympathetic.

Monstrous men do get elected,

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