McLintock! Page #3

You want to taste something

that come directly from heaven?

No.

- Where'd you get this?

- That boy's mama baked them.

You thinking the same thing I am?

She's a widow woman, Boss,

and she's got a long, hard row to hoe.

Hire her.

I always said you had a heap of sense.

Mr. McLintock, this is my mother.

- Your mother?

- And my sister.

- Pleased to meet you, Mr. McLintock.

- Ma'am, this here's my boss...

and he has a few choice words

to say about your biscuits.

Yes, Mr. McLintock?

They're great.

You old Cantonese reprobate, how about it?

You fire me, I kill myself.

I'm not talking about firing you,

I'm retiring you.

You've been rustling food for us

for 30 years.

We're gonna put you out to pasture...

all you'll have to do is give advice,

be one of the family.

- I kill myself.

- I may save you the trouble.

Look, Ching.

If you kill yourself, I'll cut off your pigtail,

and you ain't never gonna get to heaven.

- I'll be one of the family?

- I give you my solemn word.

Pretty crummy family.

Drink too much, get in fights,

yell all the time.

Cut off his pigtail.

All right, I'll be one of the family.

I hope everything is satisfactory.

This is such a big house.

It'll take me a while to get used to things.

Now, please don't hesitate to tell me

if anything is wrong.

No bird's-nest soup.

- Otherwise, just fine. Everything all nicely.

- Food's heaven, ma'am.

Best apple pie I ever ate.

Curly's right, ma'am.

Hated to leave that last bite.

- Shall we celebrate with a drink?

- Carlos, come and help me with the dishes.

Alice, do you want to help, too?

- Yes, Drago.

- All right, pitch in.

I'll wash, and you kids can dry.

Is that good? Here.

Don't seem possible one woman

could use all of them clothes.

You keep a civil tongue

in your unprepossessing face.

- Yes, ma'am.

- And unload my baggage, please.

Yes, ma'am.

By the way, what does that word,

unprepossessing, mean?

- Mrs. McLintock.

- Hello, Carlos.

Run and help the driver with my luggage.

I couldn't trust anyone else in this house

to do anything correctly.

- Luggage? Give him a hand, Curly.

- Yes, Boss.

- Mr. McLintock.

- Are you moving back in?

Yes, but nothing has changed

except my place of residence.

And I'd be willing to put up with savages...

rather than be denied the company

of my daughter.

And I'm proving that by moving in here.

Mr. McLintock, since it's my first day,

would you excuse me if I...

Go ahead. Katherine, this is Dev Warren.

Joined the outfit today.

- Pleased, ma'am.

- Thank you.

Well, how refreshing.

A polite young man here.

- Where did he come from?

- He's a farmer.

- A farmer?

- Well, I'll be doggone.

Kate, welcome home.

What on earth are you doing

in that idiotic-looking outfit?

- And don't you dare call me Kate.

- That here my butlering suit.

I'm butlering for the boss.

And I'm sorry, Katherine.

That Kate kind of slipped out

from the times I remembered you...

as being nice people.

Are you going to stand there

with that stupid look on your face...

while the hired help insults your wife?

He's just ignorant.

He doesn't know any better

than to tell the truth.

And I can't help this stupid look.

I started acquiring it

as you gained in social prominence.

Mrs. McLintock,

where do you want I should...

- What?

- Put them in the master bedroom.

Yes. But move Mr. Mclintock's things

into another room.

The one back of the stairs would be best, so

that he can't wake up the entire household...

- when he comes home every night...

- Here's the...

...just before daybreak.

- Yes, ma'am.

Excuse me.

- Here's your cigars, Mr. McLintock.

- I am Mrs. McLintock.

Kate, I mean, Katherine...

this is the cook,

this is the lady does the cooking for us.

Mrs. Warren, Mrs. McLintock.

- How do you do?

- Very pleased to meet you, Mrs. McLintock.

- Very pleased.

- Likewise.

You see, I just came to work here today,

and I guess I jumped to the conclusion...

that this was a bachelor's household.

It is, and then again, it isn't.

I will explain so everything

will be quite clear, Mrs. Wallace.

Mrs. Warren.

Mrs. Warren.

It has been a bachelor's household

for quite some time.

And it will be again,

just as soon as I'm out of here.

Which will be as quickly

as I can make arrangements...

to take my daughter back East with me.

You see, she's coming home from school

in a few days...

and then we'll be off together,

and you can return to conducting yourself...

as you consider proper

in a bachelor's household.

- Katy.

- Shut up.

Until then, I am mistress in this house.

And I will give the orders.

- I'll want my breakfast served in bed.

- Gonna let her...

- Ain't you gonna say nothing, Boss?

- No.

One poached egg, tea, toast.

G. W., as soon as my things are put away,

I'll want to talk to you about Rebecca.

Yes, Mrs. McLintock. Indeed, Mrs. McLintock.

Of course, Mrs. McLintock.

The toast, lightly browned and unbuttered.

Of course, ma'am.

Wait a minute, now, Boss.

Where do you think you're going?

I just remembered, I got a date.

But she said

she wanted to have a talk with you.

I heard.

- Good evening, Lem.

- Good evening, Mr. Mac.

Say, Mr. Mac,

what does unprepossessing mean?

I was called that once, Lem.

Looked it up in the dictionary.

- It's best you don't know what it means.

- Thank you.

What am I gonna tell her

when she asks where you went?

When in doubt, tell the truth.

She wouldn't expect that from you anyway.

- Where's Mr. McLintock going?

- There he goes, burning his last bridge.

You see a yellow streak about a foot wide

running up and down his backbone?

On Mr. McLintock?

- He ain't afraid of nothing.

- I once thought that.

- Drago?

- Yes, ma'am.

- Was that...

- He took off, lit out.

- I told him I wanted to talk to him.

- Yes, ma'am.

I was standing right over here

when you said it...

and I was standing right out there

on those front steps...

when he walked up the horse,

grabbed a hunk of mane...

- stepped up on him and sunk spur.

- Where did he go?

Last time I saw him, he was going east,

but you know him...

he is liable to go north, south, or west.

Get me a carriage.

- Yes, ma'am, but...

- But what?

Maybe you shouldn't follow him into,

maybe, where he's going into.

What does that mean?

I don't know, but I wish I hadn't said it.

- Just get the carriage.

- Yes, ma'am.

- What happened?

- Get the barouche.

- The barouche?

- Hitch it up, she wants to go to town.

But Mr. McLintock

never said anything to me about it.

Look, young fellow. I'm the...

I'm the ramrod around this place.

You better start giving me a yes, sir...

or you going to get the roof of this house

pulled down on your head.

Yes, sir.

- Hello, Davey!

- Hi, Mr. McLinctock.

- New broom, eh?

- Sweeps clean.

- Hello, Bunny, how is everything?

- Fine, Mr. McLintock.

I'll get you next time.

Two more, Elmer.

Well, look who's here.

What'll it be, Mac? Same as usual?

Ladies.

Rate this script:4.0 / 1 vote