Me, Them and Lara Page #2

A Moldavian immigrant,

read a 'very smart cookie',

is eating up our inheritance! Clear?

Stop staring!

How am I supposed to look at you?

Maybe I'm inexpressive.

Never mind. Dad?

You've seen him. He's lost his mind.

His corn-color hair

makes him look like a clown.

What would poor Mom think?

What's our inheritance anyway?

His apartment, his small beach house

and a little money in 2 banks.

Why would you care?

You're paid by the Vatican.

That's not the point!

The Vatican doesn't support me.

The point is,

I'm divorced

with a teenage daughter to raise.

My office is in my apartment

because I can't afford

to rent an office.

I can hear the dish-washer

during my sessions.

Get it?

What about your ex husband?

Maurizio?

Of course, you don't know.

What did he do?

He's living in Umbria

with a 30 year-old Swedish girl.

He makes honey.

He's got beehives.

How much alimony

do you think he gives?

- I don't know.

- Guess.

- I don't know.

- Guess!

- It's not much.

- Much? It's a tip!

Enough said, but my daughter Eva

will marry one day...

She'll need a home.

Talking about Eva.

I saw her a few minutes ago.

I think you should keep an eye on her.

Or an eye on Dad!

Right?

Let's go and see our brother Luigi,

he'll explain the situation.

Let's hurry,

I've got a patient at 7 p.m.

Sell the Gemina shares

and buy 12,000 Enel.

It's the last day to get a good deal.

No, you won't get those...

I'll call you back in 15 minutes.

I have two people in my office.

I'm all yours, guys.

Always in a hurry.

Here are Dad's bank listings for April.

He used to spend

No, he didn't win the lottery!

- Go on.

- I didn't get it.

Of course you didn't.

Now, he's spending 16,000.

Is that clear?

So what did I do?

I transferred funds

from another account

and I took care of the overdraft.

The problem is the b*tch can sign too.

Shut up, Carlo!

Show him the credit card listings.

This is for the plasma screen.

This is a jewelry in Florence.

Shut up, Carlo, please!

This huge amount is spent in a pharmacy,

probably for a big Viagra box.

And this is a trip

to Sharm el-Sheikh...

In six months

the account will be empty.

Get it now?

She's a vacuum cleaner!

How can we take

her power of signature away?

We can't.

Unless we kill her.

Let's report her

for circumvention of an incapable.

We can't call a woman

we don't know a rip-off.

Let's try to get to know her.

Dad can spend his money...

Cut the bullshit, will you!

What? Spend what, you kidding?

- She's the spender.

- She has an evil plan:

No more hypertension pills,

now she's taken away

the ones for his heart. She'll kill him.

She takes him dancing

to provoke a heart attack.

Can you see him doing

a mambo marathon with a Moldavian?

- Can you?

- Can you?

Dancing marathons!

Can you or not?

Tell us if you can!

- Can you or not?

- Can you?

No, I can't!

Neither can we!

We have to do something.

If not you'll celebrate

Dad's funeral this month.

You'll see. One of these nights

you'll hear the phone ring...

and we'll see your reaction then.

I'm telling you,

one night the phone will ring!

You know what we wonder?

Your reaction that night!

Your reaction!

We want to know!

- What reaction?

- What reaction!

Show me!

Show your reaction!

- Show us!

- I don't know...

That's it!

The phone will ring

and this will be your reaction!

Instead of spending all this money

on an unknown defender

buy a fast side mid-fielder.

That's capital nowadays.

Soccer's dead.

Madou! How are you?

Your mother told me you were here!

She gave me your address.

Sofia and Hakira are here too.

We live together.

I have to get off,

but let's get together.

I have some mail for you.

There's a party next week.

What?

A party!

You have to come!

Here's my number.

What if I started talking

about my sister,

my sister in law who's been operated,

they opened and closed her...

Sorry, she's a friend

I haven't seen in a while.

Then get off

and go for a cup of coffee...

You're a pain in the ears,

to say it politely.

Sorry.

You should be ashamed.

Felix, I told you

not to follow me anymore!

I wasn't.

I was shopping, it's allowed.

You're driving me crazy, I told you.

- You're obsessed.

- You don't answer my calls.

Because you're like a mussel on a rock.

You give me the creeps.

You're tough, Lara, a bit too tough.

And you're boring,

always playing the victim.

I bought vodka.

Let's have a Russian dinner.

I saw you stealing caviar.

No, I said. Forget it, please.

Still dating that divorced guy?

How dare you!

What the f*** do you care?

Stop asking questions, ok?

You'll end up alone.

F*** off!

I DON'T GIVE UP

What's he doing?

Security!

At cash 2, quick.

We have a good second hand choice.

See, that's a good deal,

isn't it ideal?

It's economic, right?

It's too small!

Small?

You plan to raise a family?

Let her choose,

it's her birthday present.

I like this one, I want it.

This one costs 4 times the other one.

How can you drive

around Rome in this car?

You think too I want money.

I asked for second hand car!

It's cheaper!

Dad will need a ladder to get in!

Your brother and sister

think I came to steal you.

They never cared about him,

he was always alone.

He deserves to be happy.

You want to try it, ma'm?

Driving it is pure bliss.

This car costs around 40,000 euros!

Are you on a mission

for your sister and the other one?

You know Bea and Luigi love you.

No way, they love my money!

Your sister, she's a good one!

The one who played revolutionary

at college,

the communist militant

defending the exploited!

Those were old times,

things changed, let's drop it.

She was ashamed of me,

called me a "fascist general".

F*** that.

Look what she's become,

the friend of the people.

When it comes to money, she'd send

them all back where they came from.

That's what she's all about, the b*tch.

But Olga, on the other hand...

Olga...

is a gift from God.

You understand?

Fine, fine.

This woman's made me happy,

and not only that.

This is a new

strong chapter of my life,

worthy of real man!

I enjoy fantastic oral sex again,

understand?

Spare me the oral details.

Given your celibacy,

you need to understand certain things.

In 50 years of marriage,

your mother

had oral sex with me

once during our honeymoon.

Then she said "never again".

And that was it.

Your mother took all the decisions,

and that was that.

This woman, on the contrary...

I got it, enough about your,

Mom's and Olga's oral sex life!

This is really crazy!

I came home to seek peace and quiet,

to think about the difficult times

I'm having,

but it's madness.

My father talks about sex in detail!

My family's a madhouse, believe me!

Why did you order ham and melon?

This pasta is fantastic!

Are you listening or thinking

about your pasta?

Seriously,

can't I stay with you all for a while?

Can you find me a room?

Let me stay with the other priests,

maybe I can

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