Mean Creek

Hey! What do you think

you're doing?!

- You're a punk, Sam!

- Get off.

I ought to kill you!

You f***ing d*ckhead!

- I told you to never touch my camera!

- Stop!

Didn't I?! F***er! You little wimp!

B*tch! P*ssy! I told you!

I ought to f***ing kill you!

And I will kill you, you little punk,

if I ever catch you f***ing

with my camera again.

- He's so gonna cry.

- Step on him!

- Get out of my way!

- Relax, man.

Are you OK?

You ever stare at the ceiling

till it started looking kind of funny?

Like it was breathing.

Like it was saying something.

Like it was saying,

"Rocky,

you gotta do something

about what's been going on."

Something's gotta happen, Sam.

Something's gotta give.

We can call the police.

Police wouldn't do jack.

I wish I was bigger.

I'm bigger.

Not to mention the fact

that I'm smarter.

If you do something,

he'll just get you.

Did you ever used to get me

when we used to play hide-and-seek?

- No.

- He wouldn't have any better luck.

Wanna know my secret hiding spot?

The roof.

The disappearing man.

Exactly.

So high. Oh, my God.

Rocky's thinking about

doing something to George.

I don't get how the teachers

can just let him get away with that.

Teachers don't care.

They have him in detention

for 15 minutes for a week.

Something's gotta give.

If you could snap your fingers

right now,

and he would drop dead in his tracks,

would you do it?

Are we still on for Saturday?

Yeah, of course.

So, what are we gonna do?

I'll figure something out,

and I'll surprise you.

Hey, you know that fat kid, George,

who they keep holding back

from graduating middle school?

Yeah, I hate that guy.

He beat up Sam.

No.

Hey, you know

when we were at Rollins,

that crazy kid

chased me across the field

and cracked my head

open with a bat.

- Finally, an explanation.

- Yeah, anyway...

- He's a real pig.

- I say we smoke that ham.

Yeah? Make some

ham sandwiches?

Pork chop-ify him.

Spam-icize him.

- Link sausage-ize him!

- Squeal, piggy! Squeal!

No, screw that guy.

You'd really like to do that,

wouldn't you, Clyde?

- You're projecting, Marty.

- Projecting?

That's when you say something

that someone else...

You say that they want to do, when

you're the one who wants to do it.

No, no, no. That's good.

That's good.

Hold up, Rocky. Back up.

I got something for you.

Just a little...

- Oh, you son of a b*tch!

- I was just projecting.

Oh, you a**hole!

Later.

Wait up, man!

Let's go get some ice cream.

OK, Dave.

Hey!

Hey!

- Where were you guys?

- Get beat up today?

See any new scars?

- Got any more gum?

- I'm chewing the whole pack.

Why, you want some?

Tasty.

OK,

Jennifer Lopez or the girl

who sits behind you in school?

J. Lo.

OK, I think I got one.

Tie him to a tree,

pour some honey on his face,

and leave him there

all day and night.

- Why?

- It's for the bugs,

so they'd get on him

and bite him.

- No, we can't do that.

- Why not?

Well, what if a bear came?

Shut up.

You know,

if we hurt him,

we'd be just as bad as him.

So we need to hurt him

without really hurting him.

I mean, if you could think

of something like that, then...

Then what?

I don't know.

All right, Heather Locklear

or Shannen Doherty?

Don't know who

Heather Locklear is.

You don't...? Dude!

So, what do you say?

I think it's a totally wild plan.

It's also the only plan

my brother would agree to.

He's just a little f***ing

Gandhi, isn't he?

Like a f***ing white

Martin Luther King.

All we need now is a boat.

Hey, my neighbor's got a boat

in her back yard that she never uses.

- Does that mean you're in?

- Do you actually think he'll go for it?

Oh, please. George'll get a hard-on

as soon as he picks up the phone.

Rock will throw on some of

that "sweet boy" charm of his.

Kid's desperate. Stupid.

It's human nature.

All I know is, is I'm getting a hard-on

just thinking about it.

Your mom don't need

the car Saturday, does she?

The only thing my mom needs

on Saturdays is Valium.

What do you think, Clyde?

Do we want to give Georgie Porgie a

little taste of his own medicine? Huh?

Be some good, clean fun,

don't you think?

Yeah, he deserves it, doesn't he?

If there's one thing

that can't be argued,

it's that that fat freak deserves

whatever he's got coming to him.

Dude, what'd I tell you?

You don't smoke herb.

Yeah, so get it out of my face.

F*ggot.

Clyde-o,

I'm just f***ing with you.

You're not a f*ggot, all right?

OK?

Fist bump?

Fist bump?

OK, zero kilter.

Besides, I like your dads, Clyde.

I never knew any homosexual men

personally until I met them.

They're not so bad.

Don't you think so, Rocky?

Clyde, don't worry about Marty.

It's just B.S.

OK? Come on. It's B.S.

OK? It's B.S.! B.S.! Come on!

OK?

Hello? George?

Hey, hey. This is Rocky Maris,

Sam's older brother.

Yeah. I got your number

off the call list.

Is that OK? Great.

Well, what I wanted to call

you about was...

Is that I'm inviting you to...

To a party for Sam.

Now, I know that you two have

been having some trouble lately.

But you know what?

He's always talking about

how cool you are.

And it would really mean a lot

to him if you could come.

It's his birthday.

It's on Saturday at noon.

We can pick you up if you'd like.

We're going boating.

We're going on a boating trip.

You like boating?

Yeah, awesome.

So the only thing

that I can really ask you to do,

is not tell too many people.

Because we didn't really invite

a lot of people, and...

And, you know, everyone knows

everybody in this town.

And you tell your parents,

parents will tell other parents,

and those parents will tell their kids.

And pretty soon everyone

who didn't get invited

will be sitting at home, crying.

We don't want that, do we?

There you go.

So do you want me to pick you up

at noon? Awesome!

So I will see you at noon, George.

Awesome. Have a great day. Bye.

- Oh, God.

- What did he say?

He said he would love to go.

He'd love to go.

Oh, I'd love to go.

I'd love to... If you could just...

I'd love, love, love to go.

Oh, I'd love to go! Come here.

- Say "uncle."

- Uncle.

- Uncle who?

- Uncle Martini!

Kiss my ass, Mr. Shaham.

Kiss my ass, Mr. Estes.

Kiss my ass, Ms. Johnson.

Kiss my ass, Mr. Rosenthal.

Sh*t.

Hey! What's up with my shooter,

twerp face.

Target practice.

It's 11 a.m. In the morning

for chrissakes.

Most people are doing cartwheels

by 11, Kile.

Aren't you supposed to be

in school?

F*** school.

I don't see you in school.

And besides, you're not Dad.

Come here.

Come here!

Yeah, you're right, I'm not Dad.

Dad didn't yank as hard as I do.

I don't really want to hear about Dad,

you understand?

- You understand?

- Yes.

Now, hand me my gun.

Look, stupid.

You ever take this

without my permission again,

I guarantee it, you'll be sorry.

- You understand?

- Yeah.

- You get it?

- Yes.

Kiss my ass, Kile.

Things to say to Sam

on our date.

One.

So...

Sam, it's a beautiful day, isn't it?

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