Mean Girls 2

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There are times in your life

when you find yourself

in very awkward situations.

I mean, just Iook at that face, Jo.

Abby needs you.

We need you.

And we're willing to pay.

And this would

be one of those moments.

But I swear, it's not like I'm

selling my kidney or anything.

Although, that would

have been less painful.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Let me start at the beginning.

And it's the big day,

the qualifying race of the Indy 500.

- She takes her position...

- This is my dad.

...revs the motor

of her stock car, hoping...

To not crash and burn on

the Iast Iap of adolescence.

- Oh, that's my girl.

- Dad built engines for race cars.

And so did l.

Ignore the pigtails.

I was more naive back then.

Because of his work,

I changed schools

two times a year

for the past eight years.

This doesn 't make me a loner

with a highly evolved

defense mechanism or anything.

OK, fine, it does.

Today, everything

was about to change.

It was my first day

at North Shore High,

the last stop before

Carnegie Mellon University,

my dream school.

My rules of survival were simple:

Don 't stand out,

never raise your hand in class

and watch your back at all times.

New town, same school,

same parking lot.

Everyone obsessed

with the freedom of their first car.

It's an identity, like the muscle cars

who think they own the road,

and check out every passing vehicle.

Smart cars who don 't fit in.

The "I'm so perky I might

shake off my tube top " cutesy cars.

And then there's the most

dangerous vehicle on the road,

the high-performance,

high-maintenance sports cars.

If they liked you,

your life was all green lights.

- Hi.

- Hi.

If they didn 't,

you were nothing more than

a wreck on the side of the road.

At North Shore,

they were called the Plastics,

and Mandi Weatherly

was the number one Plastic.

She dotted her name with a

signature heart above the "i. "

Probably because she didn 't

actually possess that organ.

Her two sidekicks were Chastity Meyer,

who was stupid enough to hit a home

run with any boy willing to play,

and Hope Plotkin, uber-hypochondriac,

who believed that germs led to ugliness,

and ugliness led to death.

And thus, my number one rule

for survival:
no girl drama.

Actually, no drama, period.

PIease, please, don't be ruined!

And in high school,

an already embarrassing moment

can go from bad...

...to worse.

- Are you OK?

- How bad do I Iook?

She couldn't have looked worse.

- You Iook great.

- Really? Thanks.

I'm Abby Hanover.

Yeah, you must be new.

I'm part of the welcoming committee.

Well, there's only

two of us really and...

...and I'd... I'd Iove

to show you around.

- Are they gone?

- Yeah.

Listen, I think I can find my way

to the front office, thanks.

So, Jo, I see your dad's big in NASCAR.

Well, Iet me set your mind at ease.

We know how to deal with

celebrities here at North Shore.

One of our Iunch Iadies was

on the first season of American ldol.

- Good to know.

- Yeah, it was pretty hot.

And we're also aware

of your many moves.

OK.

'Cause we're aware that students

who move around a Iot

often wind up as

serial killers or actors.

Hey, did I mention we have

an excellent drama department?

I'm not really into drama,

but I do know you have

an advanced shop class.

Menial Iaborer rather than intellectual.

I can respect that.

The cheerleading squad

will be going to the public library

for a field trip.

Now, last year,

we had some problems with that,

where we had 1 2 girls go,

and we had 1 5 girls come back.

I know how much you all love vampires,

but remember,

the school nurse will be

heading up the blood drive,

so sign up for that now.

Home Ec's down the hall, miss.

Actually, as refreshingly sexist

as that is,

I'm here for Advanced Shop.

- Drafting class.

- Right.

Well, we Iost Mike

to that circular saw incident,

so you can be Tyler's partner.

OK, everybody,

get started on your birdhouses.

Trusses or triangles, I don't care.

That's about all

I can deal with right now.

- Hey, Tyler, I'm Jo.

- Hey.

- What's his deal?

- Well, Mr. Giamatti

bleeds Texas A&M maroon and white,

and they Iost Saturday.

If they want to be taken seriously,

they better beat the Longhorns.

Don't Iet Giamatti hear you say that.

And just when a guy seems all dreamy

and has eyes you can fall into...

So we have to build

a Iame birdhouse.

I guess you could decorate it.

...he opens his mouth

and sounds like an ass.

Wow, thanks.

But I was thinking I could

carve the dovetail joint.

- I'm impressed.

- That makes one of us.

In every school,

students have their lunch gang.

As my dad says, your racer

is only as good as your pit crew.

Cutest dog ever, Mandi!

Thanks! Coco Chanel really

sets off my new purse.

You had her checked for rabies, right?

Too bad you couldn't get

the new Prada bag with the fringe.

Would've totally matched her brown fur.

Hello! Fringe is so out.

And I'm at the top of the wait Iist for

the new patent Ieather Prada satchel.

But you've already waited,

Iike, six months for the fringe...

Of course, Mandi,

fringe is so past tense.

Vogue says crimson

is the new accessory,

and you're totally

gonna rock that Iook.

Oh, I know.

Lost much, Iittle freshies? Scram.

Ten dogs in a minute. Let's do this!

You guys are goin' down.

We're gonna win, come on.

- Yeah. Yeah, Iet's go, Iet's go.

- Come on.

- Nick, focus!

- Come on, man.

Chastity, stop drooling.

You know what Mandi

thinks about you and Tyler.

What are you talking about?

Do not play dumb with me.

I don't have to play dumb.

Besides, the cashier

totally sneezed on your salad.

Pay up, you two Iosers.

God, Nick is just so nasty.

I'm only dating him 'cause he's probably

getting a full ride to UCLA.

You know, one week in LA and I'II be

a bikini model-hyphen-reality star

hyphen-awesome!

- I heard Amy Hall is totally into him.

- Oh, she wouldn't dare.

Nickie, over here. I missed you.

- Hey, babe.

- Hey, have you been Iifting weights?

Oh, dude, your rat-dog just tongued me.

Shut up, Nick.

You'II hurt Coco Chanel's feelings.

No groping south of the equator.

Or north, creep.

Wow, the hot chick can

really handle herself.

Wonder what else she can handle.

- Who the hell is she?

- Her name is Jo, Jo Mitchell.

She's in my bio class.

Somebody said she came somewhere,

from, Iike, FIorida or Texas.

Then I also heard that she's

an exchange student from Russia.

Oh, what did they exchange her for?

She's kinda pretty, don't you think?

Well...

...if you're into pleather.

Hello, there. Hi, Coco Chanel.

Go back to Mandi, go on.

Go, go, go.

AII right, just a Iittle bit.

Where's Coco Chanel?

Bad Iittle girl.

Oh, my God! Who did that?

- Who fed Coco Chanel?

- It was Abby.

- Abby did it.

- You? Again?

I'm sorry, I didn't know.

I'm really sorry, Mandi!

I'II buy you another purse.

Or you can just have mine.

Is that what I think it is?

- Duck.

- I Iove ducks.

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