Mean Girls 2 Page #5

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and beg for forgiveness.

But looking at her,

the idea of losing my first

best friend in a long time,

I couldn 't do it.

So, what do you need to tell me?

I...

You should know,

my Iast BFF relationship

crashed and burned.

She became snobby and judgmental

and used guys as pawns of warfare,

which is saying a Iot,

considering it was fourth grade.

Geez! Sounds Iike a mini-Mandi.

But don't worry,

we're nothing Iike that.

Success! OK.

I grabbed all the archived

papers with the PIastics,

which was pretty much every issue.

- If there's dirt, we'II find it.

- What's this?

Mandi's Annual Birthday Bash.

- Everybody wants to be invited.

- But, of course, they aren't.

Mandi never allows anybody

to throw a party when she does.

Is that so?

I am so excited. Tonight

is gonna be the perfect night.

It should be.

It's costing my dad enough.

Our dad, Tyler.

You know, most people

would die to be my brother.

That's only because they don't

know what you're really Iike.

You mean perfect,

awesome and popular?

More Iike conceited,

vain and vindictive.

You're only happy when

making others miserable.

But high school will end, Mandi.

And then what will you have Ieft?

This is a bad idea.

Nobody's gonna show up.

Of course they will. Who wants

to go to some expensive party

with cocktail dresses and raw fish,

where Mandi talks

about how awesome she is?

People who think Mandi's awesome.

No one actually thinks that.

Trust me, it's just years

of social brainwashing.

Wait, why aren't you guys ready?

People will arrive any minute!

We are ready.

No! No!

- Abby, no! Honey!

- Mom...

I bought you all those

party clothes for a reason.

Now you don't have an excuse,

because you're actually the host.

Come on. Come on!

Come on, Iet's go.

Come on, sugar, Iet's go!

Come on! My Iittle girl

is throwing a party!

- Seriously?

- Mom, stop.

Now, Jo, you know you're not gonna

have this Iittle body forever.

- Mom!

- I'm just saying

she oughta show it off.

- Mom, just stop!

- In something Iike this.

- IIene Hanover!

- Definitely.

I knew it!

- Invitation, miss?

- I don't have one.

Oh, no, I'm sorry, it's invite only.

OK.

Thank you, thank you all so much

for coming to my birth...

Where... Where is everyone?

Wow! I can't believe this!

I can't believe this

is my house, my party!

Believe it.

- You both Iook amazing.

- Thanks, you're not so bad yourself.

This party rocks!

Only where's the food?

Oh, I heard Mandi's

serving nigiri sushi.

- That's sushi.

- Pizza's coming.

Pizza.

This is a disaster of epic proportions!

I mean, don't panic, Mandi.

Maybe they just got the wrong address.

Or...

What if Jo and Abby

are throwing a party tonight?

Stating the obvious much, moron?

- What are we gonna do?

- Not go over there?

He's inside!

Hope, do you still have that

vile medicine from your doctor?

You mean the ipecac? Of course.

EIIiot hasn't stopped

staring at you all night.

Really? But he's EIIiot.

Thanks.

Oh, thank God, I'm starving.

Do these smell funny?

Maybe the delivery guy

mixed up our order.

- Here you go. Thanks.

- No problem. GIad to help.

- Wait! Don't eat that.

- What? Why?

Because I'm not the only one

who paid the pizza guy.

OK, it's done.

Their party's about to

get extremely unsanitary.

- What'd I miss?

- Oh, nothing, honey bear.

We just have a party to attend.

Oh, and I wouldn't wear

nice shoes if I were you.

Perhaps galoshes.

- Happy not your birthday!

- Really, Chastity?

Joke.

Wait, nobody's puking.

Oh, thank God!

I mean, damn it!

Where's the pizza?

What the hell happened?

God, Nick, go do something!

Look at those two.

God, what does Tyler even see in her?

Get over it already, Chastity.

My brother is off-Iimits.

Like what you say matters, Mandi.

You can't even throw a birthday party.

Shut up!

I'II be right back.

Man, the food's all gone.

Oh, Nick, I saved you a piece of pizza.

One second.

Why is Mandi here?

Well, I think she was hoping

to gloat over a party disaster,

which, if I can count on Nick,

won't take Iong.

- Bon apptit.

- Thank you.

Mandi, can I see your invitation?

Because I'm pretty sure I Ieft

"Vapid B*tch" off the Iist.

You think you're so clever,

but you're not.

You're just using my brother

to get back at me,

and I'm gonna make sure

that he knows that.

Not everything is about you, Mandi.

Especially not my Iove Iife.

At Ieast I have one. Where's your

boyfriend on your birthday?

You wanna see a Iove Iife,

Iittle virgin?

I'II show you.

Oh, my God, did he just...?

Oh, God, move! Move!

Yep. Sorry about your patio.

Oh, totally worth it!

And we didn'tjust stop there.

Abby, Quinn and I set out

to disband the Plastics

once and for all.

We called ourselves the Anti-Plastics.

Not very original,

but it got the point across.

Wow.

Wow.

Wow.

We gathered our forces.

But as the Anti-Plastics grew,

Mandi started recruiting

for her side.

It was time to break apart

the founding members,

starting with Chastity.

So we simply tipped Principal Duvall.

Oh, Principal Duvall! A note.

Her weakness:
a raging libido.

OK, where's the back stairwell that's

a herpes infection waiting to happen?

- C-wing.

- Thank you.

EIIiot, Iet me borrow that.

The camera! Get to class.

For the Iove of all that's sanitary,

get outta there, people!

You wait right here, young Iady.

You officially earned detention

for a week. Unbelievable.

No, no, no! In solitary confinement.

Let's go, move it.

- Principal Duvall.

- What?

- The announcements!

- Oh, yeah, Iet's go!

- And action!

- Good afternoon, everybody.

We have a winner for the

Homecoming Dance Charity.

The winner is the Humane Society.

So...

Where did you come from?

Get outta here!

I'm talking about the importance

of neutering here, people! Cut it off.

- How could you do that?

- Do what?

Rat out all of my make-out spots!

You're the only one I told, Mandi.

Now, who's gonna do my homework

and tell me I'm special?

- Sorry.

- Hey!

For Hope, who'd been a hypochondriac

since contracting mono

from a water fountain,

we said goodbye to Mandi's

"no bodily fluids" rule.

Oh, my God, oh, my God!

- I'm gonna contract E. coli.

- Even worse, you have a zit.

I knew ugliness was contagious!

Hope booked an emergency healing

massage and seaweed facial.

Unfortunately, there

was a mix-up at the spa...

...and Hope ended up resembling

the Wicked Witch of the West.

It still hadn 't faded

after an entire weekend.

Mandi! What is wrong with you?

You didn't pick me up.

I had to ride my Schwinn.

I don't pick up ogres.

And green, definitely not your color.

Wha...?

Why hasn't it washed away?

I added some

Iong-Iasting henna ink.

Don't you think that's a bit much?

Come on, she deserved it.

Peace out!

Nobody'II ever see that.

With Chastity and Hope down,

there was only one Plastic left.

Cupcakes! Cupcakes!

Red velvet,

or perhaps devil's food cake?

- Thank you!

- Traitor!

- You don't own me, Mandi.

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