Mediterranean Food

Behind every great woman

there's not always a great man

My mum's name is Sofia,

she's the best cook in the world

and she hasn't got a great man

behind, she has two.

This is the story

of the three of them.

MEDITERRANEAN FOOD

- Someone, get a car!

- Let's take the scooter, start it.

- Don't take the scooter!

- Why?

You won't make it.

Take the pan and casseroles

out of the fire.

My mum was bum unannounced

on June 6th 1968,

at the lunch rush hour.

And turn the gas oh'!

Go.

On the day Sofia is born,

Toni's cleaning with the paper

announcing Robert Kennedy's murder.

Meanwhile, Frank is about to receive

a horrible punishment.

Toni studies, Frank doesn't.

Toni helps his father, Frank plays

with his stepfather's gun.

Dad!

Pete, help us, she's giving birth!

Make her sit here.

Be careful.

- What should we do?

- Put her legs up.

The baby really wants out.

Bring towels!

- A smoke.

- It's fine, the head comes first.

Sofia is bum weighing

surrounded by men

in need of a haircut.

She's beautiful.

Sofia.

Some time later,

she can prepare

the secret sauce for fries.

She also learns that boys are nicer

when their stomach is full.

- Here.

- Thank you.

- A hot dog!

- Ok!

She finds out that dancing

is about being leaded.

Sandwiches, the nicest sandwiches!

When she's eight, Sofia

starts showing shat an artist.

At 20, Frank learns languages

with native speakers.

At the age of 15, Toni saves

two English women and a Dutch man.

- What's in them?

- Ham, pineapple and lettuce.

- And in those?

- Tuna fish and cherry.

Tuna fish and cherry?

My favorite are sardines and

chocolate, but the sun melts them.

- Do you make them yourself?

- It's 50 pesetas.

It's good, but not the best.

I'll give you 25.

Hey, what are you doing here?

You should be at school.

Sofia!

Come.

Sofia! There's no need to hide.

I'm not hiding.

I just met your teacher.

- You failed.

- I know.

You're only interested in boys.

Studying is useless.

I don't learn and I don't like it.

You'd rather go shopping

and being admired?

- Every girl...

- You'd better be quiet,

- you fill her head with nonsense.

- Me?

Yes, you tell her she's

the tallest, the prettiest,

the most clever.

I'm not retaking the course,

I want to work.

- Where?

- In my dad's kitchen.

Your hair will always smell.

Does my hair smell?

I want you to have a clean job,

so you can wear decent clothes

and have weekends free.

- Take that off!

- I don't want to.

Ramon...

- Take that off!

- I don't want to!

OK, stop. Don't hit your mum.

Stop.

But she's right.

Only useless people are cooks.

That's right.

I'll show you who I am.

I can be anything.

I you leave,

don't ever come back!

Baby! Where are you going?

Should I follow her?

I told you I'd kick you out

if I caught you drinking.

The fish stew's perfect!

You can't hit me, I'm the chef!

You can't kick me out,

you're not the boss.

You screw the owner,

that's different.

I work long hours,

I know each costumer by name,

their favorite wine, everything.

You know who it is I screw?

The public.

I know what they want,

it's not you.

So get out, you piece of sh*t.

You won't be able to feed

- Out.

- A**hole.

He):

Can you offer me a job?

Maybe.

- What can you do?

- Fish stew.

- And sardines with chocolate.

- That, too.

Come on, help chop

onion and tomato.

Listen.

If someone annoys you or touches

your ass, tell me and I'll kill them.

OK.

- Come on.

- Let's go.

Toni!

Have you seen Sofia?

She ran away again?

She's terrible.

It's about the girl

who committed suicide

She was Swedish.

The Swedish have the highest

suicide rate.

It must be the climate.

No, it's the butter.

They cook everything

with butter.

- Should I fill it?

- No, it's full.

- If I see her, what should I say?

- Nothing, I'll wait here.

Excuse me!

Can you take me to the station?

Please! I'm late for work.

Please.

OK, OK, let's go.

So, you speak Italian.

I understand a little.

I was in the navy.

Have you been to Venice?

What should I tell her

if I see her?

Here, your part,

you've done fine.

- Can I work with you?

- No.

- How much are you paying?

- Nothing, this is not good for you.

- Study. Be a secretary.

- What about you?

- What about me?

- Did you study a lot?

I'll have my own restaurant.

Me too.

You bet.

Cooking is not for women.

- Aren't there any female cooks?

- No.

- Why?

- Women don't cook for money.

I do.

That's because you're no woman, yet.

Then you're not a man.

- I'll take you home.

- I don't have a home.

- Don't be a pain or...

- Or what?

What are you doing?

Frank, what are you doing?

Let me go! Frank, let me go!

You'll see! Goddammit.

What are you doing?

Motherf***er!

Hey, my KEYS

- Give me the keys.

- I don't want to.

Give me the keys.

Fill it. It's super.

- Why are you with him?

- What'?

- Your dad's worried.

- Are you gonna fill it?

- Come on, out of the car.

- I don't want to.

Not you, her!

Take the hose

- and fill it in.

- Come on.

- She's underage, you a**hole!

- What?

You'll see!

Take your hands off my car.

You're underage?

- She's 16, you a**hole!

- 17, you idiot!

If you call me a**hole,

I'll have to punch you.

- Really?

- Yes.

A**hole.

A**hole, a**hole, a**hole.

- Are you stupid?

- Did you abuse her?

- What...?

- Did you abuse her?

- How could I, she's smarter than us.

- F***, the cops.

Idiot.

- Calm down, they are my friends.

- Not mine. Give me the keys.

- It's your father.

- I don't have a father. The keys.

- Get off the car.

- What?

Get off, I don't want trouble.

You, a**hole,

help me get her off.

- I don't want to!

- Come one, get off the car, I said.

You liar, you said

you'd take me to your place.

Don't touch me!

Son of a b*tch, liar!

You chickenshit!

Hit him, hit him!

Let me go!

Hi, Frank.

When are you buying me lunch?

Let me go!

- Stop minding my business!

- I care about you.

Why?

Toni, come here.

No, you stay there.

He asked us to stop here.

Lend him some clothes.

We found him

at the station restroom,

naked and tied to a radiator.

- What happened, Ramon?

- Hi, Toni.

Don't let Sofia see me.

An omelet, not too cooked.

My grandfather is out of service for a

month because of a pneumonia

My mum switches maths

and geography for stoves.

- A Spanish omelet for four!

- OK!

Dishes are now cooked

with a new ingredient:

Passion.

Hooray for Sofia!

The younger quickly fall

in love with Sofia's cookery.

In short, even older people

fall for Sofia.

My grandmother smells business

and finds recipes everywhere.

Two years later,

the restaurant where Frank works

is no longer the best.

But Toni is the best

real estate agent in the area.

And he's the most fervent lover

in the Mediterranean.

Frank tries Sofias dishes

and knows he found the treasure map.

Here's to my friends

Loren and Ramon,

who decided to join their lives

Hooray for Sofia

and her mum, Loren!

Why are you here?

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