Meet John Doe Page #10

COLONEL:

You ain't gonna get me to stay

here.

JOHN:

Sure, you are.

COLONEL:

No, sir. That spot under the bridge

where we slept last night's good

enough for me.

While he speaks, JOHN has managed to get a glimpse of

himself in a mirror—admiring his new suit.

BELL HOP:

Hey, what'll I do with this baggage?

BEANY:

Aw, stick 'em in the bedroom.

COLONEL:

Gimme mine. I ain't staying! You

know we were headed for the Columbia

River country before all this John

Doe business came up. You remember

that, don't yuh?

JOHN:

Sure. I remember . . . Say, did

your ears pop coming up in the

elevator? Mine did.

COLONEL:

Aw, Long John . . . I tell you—it's

no good. You're gonna get used to

a lotta stuff that's gonna wreck

you. Why, that fifty bucks in your

pocket's beginning to show up on

you already. And don't pull that

on me neither!

(as John brings out

harmonica)

JOHN:

Stop worrying, Colonel. I'm gonna

get my arm fixed out of this.

WIDER SHOT:
As BEANY enters scene with box of cigars.

BEANY:

Here's some cigars the boss sent

up. Have one.

JOHN's eyes light up.

JOHN:

Hey, cigars!

He grabs one and stuffs it in his mouth.

BEANY:

(to Colonel)

Help yourself.

COLONEL:

Naw.

JOHN flops into a luxurious chair—and immediately ANGELFACE

holds a light up for his cigar. JOHN looks up, pleased.

JOHN:

Say, I'll bet yuh even the Major

Leaguers don't rate an outfit like

this.

ANGELFACE:

(hands him a

newspaper)

Here. Make yourself comfortable.

(turns to the Colonel)

Paper?

COLONEL:

(sharply)

I don't read no papers and I don't

listen to radios either. I know

the world's been shaved by a drunken

barber and I don't have to read

it.

ANGELFACE backs away, puzzled.

COLONEL:

(crosses to John)

I've seen guys like you go under

before. Guys that never had a worry.

Then they got ahold of some dough

and went goofy. The first thing

that happens to a guy—

BEANY:

Hey, did yuh get a load of the

bedroom?

JOHN:

No.

BEANY beckons to him to follow, which JOHN does with great

interest.

INT. BEDROOM

FULL SHOT:
As BEANY and JOHN puff luxuriously on their

cigars and examine the room.

COLONEL:

(in doorway)

The first thing that happens to a

guy like that—he starts wantin' to

go into restaurants and sit at a

table and eat salads—and cup

cakes—and tea—

(disgusted)

Boy, what that kinda food does to

your system!

JOHN pushes on the bed and is impressed with its softness.

COLONEL:

The next thing the dope wants is a

room. Yes sir, a room with steam

heat! And curtains and rugs and

'fore you know it, he's all softened

up and he can't sleep 'less he has

a bed.

CLOSE-UP:
Of BEANY. He stares, bewildered, at the COLONEL.

WIDER SHOT:
JOHN turns and crosses to window.

JOHN:

(as he goes)

Hey, stop worrying, Colonel. Fifty

bucks ain't going to ruin me.

COLONEL:

I seen plenty of fellers start out

with fifty bucks and wind up with

a bank account!

BEANY:

(can't stand it any

more)

Hey, whatsa matter with a bank

account, anyway?

COLONEL:

(ignoring him)

And let me tell you, Long John.

When you become a guy with a bank

account, they got you. Yes sir,

they got you!

BEANY:

Who's got him?

COLONEL:

The heelots!

BEANY:

Who?

JOHN:

(at the window)

Hey. There's the City Hall tower

I'm supposed to jump off of. It's

even higher than this.

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