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Meet The Fockers
##[We're Gonna Get Married
# Into life today
much as I love her #
# There have been trials
and tribulations #
# And not just a few #
# But we made it through #
# And now the times are here #
# Have everything #
# But the sun #
# And the rain #
# We're a
definite combination #
# Wait and see #
[grunting]
You must do something!
Baby is coming!
Yeah. I know baby is coming!
Miss, you've to stay calm
and take deep breaths, okay?
Myra, I need a doctor here
right now.
I am working on it.
You're not a doctor?
No, I am a nurse.
You are man
and you are nurse?
What kind of man is nurse?
Look, folks,
I'm a professional, okay?
I know exactly what I'm doing,
so just trust me,
everything's going to be fine,
all right?
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah. You're fully dilated.
Hey, I need that doctor
right now.
There are no free doctors.
Nurse, you're gonna have
to deliver that baby yourself.
I can see the head!
Holy sh*t!
[screaming]
Check it out.
We did it.
We had a boy.
A boy. You are my hero.
Mmm-hmm.
I name baby for you.
Oh! You don't have to do that.
Yeah. I must.
It is Latvian tradition.
We'll name the baby...
[grunting]
(Bernie on machine)
Hello,
you've reached the Fockers.
We're not around,
so leave us a message.
Goodbye.
Roz, how the hell
do you shut this thing off?
(Roz on machine)
I have no idea.
Just press a button.
(Bernie)
I'm pretty sure it's off.
Honey,
you want a chimichanga?
(Roz)
I thought they gave you gas.
A little bit,
but it's worth it.
Worth it for you,
but I'm the one
that gets the fumes.
Honey, I'm in the mood
for a chimichanga.
So make a...
[beeping]
Hi, guys, it's me.
Dad, I told you
six months ago
you have to change
that message.
Anyway, I'm just calling
to double check
'cause I didn't hear
back from you.
You know that
Pam and I are flying out
to Oyster Bay today.
And, then, we're flying
to Miami tomorrow
with the Byrneses.
And our flight gets in 7:30,
so we should be
So just give me a call
back on my cell, okay?
'Cause I want to go over
a few things
about Pam's dad and just, uh,
just some other stuff
for the weekend.
All right. I love you, bye.
Hey!
Hey, sweetie.
How was your shift?
Oh! Guess what?
What?
[gasps]
No way.
Mmm. Yeah.
Oh, honey,
I'm so proud of you.
It was incredible.
I mean, just...
Just to be pulling
this life force
out of this woman's...
You know, I mean,
it was just so... It was...
It's so cool.
That's great, honey.
That's great.
So, uh, are you ready to go?
I want to get
to the airport early.
I know.
Just give me a second.
You know how things
always goes wrong.
The flight leaves
in four hours.
I wish we could set
a wedding date
without our parents
actually having to meet.
Honey, this weekend
is gonna be fine.
And your parents are great.
Oh, they're great
in small doses.
Well, 48 hours
in Coconut Grove
is a small dose.
Besides, you've already
won over my dad,
and that is the hard part.
Mmm. That is true.
I mean, I am still
in the Byrnes family
circle of trust, right?
You're firmly in the circle.
[chuckling]
Finally.
Oh, taxi!
# All the time #
# As we go walking by #
Going to the airport?
Yeah.
Take mine.
Great.
# It's all right #
Nice guy.
Yeah.
# Hold you tight #
# Take her hand in mine #
# We'll be looking fine #
You two, you're up.
# All those
who love us to be there #
# One great big happy family #
# Wait and see #
Oh, dear.
What?
Well, they overbooked coach.
[sighing]
So what does that mean?
Do we miss our flight or...
Well, we are gonna have to
upgrade you to first class.
Really?
[chuckling]
Thank you.
[grunting]
Oh! Sir, why don't you
let me take that for you?
Okay, yeah.
or put it on another flight
'cause that's cool,
whatever you want to do.
in the Captain's closet.
That was nice.
Yeah.
Champagne?
Thank you.
Champagne, sir?
Thank you.
Enjoy.
# We'll be looking fine #
Would you like to purchase
rental insurance, Mr. Focker?
Um...
No. Thanks.
No?
[whispering]
It's a scam.
That's how they
make all their money.
That's true.
You don't need it.
Get out of here.
# Wait and see ##
The House of Byrnes.
Lot of good memories here.
Mom? Dad?
I am watching you.
[gurgling]
Well, almost,
but you have to do it
with two fingers.
One on each eye like this:
I am watching you.
[gurgling]
We'll get back to that later.
Guess who's here?
It's Prof. Einstein.
Hi, Little Jack.
You're a genius.
I see a Nobel Prize
in your future.
Yes, I do.
Study break, boys.
Company's here.
Pamcake!
Flapjack!
[chuckling]
(both)
Shortstack,
shortstack coming up!
Put some syrup
in the cup.
Pa, pa, pa, pa,
pa, pa, pa.
That's how it goes, right?
That's okay, Greg.
Nice to see you.
Yes.
Nice to see you, Grandpa.
[Little Jack gurgling]
My God.
How did my nephew get so big?
Look at you.
You look just
like your mommy.
(Greg)
He does, doesn't he?
Hey. Hey. This is Greg.
Remember
(Greg)
Hey.
[chuckling]
Sorry, Greg.
The card only
comes in one gender.
Oh! Yeah.
Now, that's... that's all right.
[Little Jack gurgles]
(Jack)
He's taking you in.
He has a very keen sense
for people, Greg.
Mmm.
He's a chip
off the old block, huh?
on our hands here.
I'd be discreet
about my profession, Greg,
if I were you.
You know what I mean?
As far as
your parents are concerned,
I'm still a horticulturist.
Hey, why is Little Jack here?
Are Deb and Bob house-sitting,
while we're in Florida?
No, they're in Ko Saimii,
Thailand.
Checking on the clinic
they opened
during their honeymoon.
[chuckling]
What is all this stuff,
anyway?
After Denny was
sent away to military school,
into a learning laboratory
for you-know-who over there.
And do you talk yet,
Mr. Munchkinhead?
[babbling]
Greg, Greg, Greg.
Don't infantilize him.
Talk to him like an adult.
(Dina)
Muskrat.
Huh?
Muskrat, Jack.
All right.
[chuckling]
Just try to understand
he's a little person.
His communication skills
aren't verbal yet,
but he understands.
Observe.
L.J., are you hungry?
Oh, wow.
[mumbling]
(Greg)
Look at that.
"I would like to
eat more please."
"I'd like a nap,
and then later
I'll enjoy a nice poop."
[spluttering]
Oh, yeah. I've heard about
this, this baby signing stuff.
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"Meet The Fockers" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 31 Aug. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/meet_the_fockers_13590>.
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