Meet The Fockers

##[We're Gonna Get Married

by Randy Newman playing]

# Into life today

came something beautiful #

# Someone who loved me

much as I love her #

# There have been trials

and tribulations #

# And not just a few #

# But we made it through #

# And now the times are here #

# We're gonna get married #

# Have everything #

# But the sun #

# And the rain #

# We're a

definite combination #

# We're gonna get married #

# We're gonna get married #

# We're gonna get married #

# We're gonna get married #

# Wait and see #

[grunting]

You must do something!

Baby is coming!

Yeah. I know baby is coming!

Miss, you've to stay calm

and take deep breaths, okay?

Myra, I need a doctor here

right now.

I am working on it.

You're not a doctor?

No, I am a nurse.

You are man

and you are nurse?

What kind of man is nurse?

Look, folks,

I'm a professional, okay?

I know exactly what I'm doing,

so just trust me,

everything's going to be fine,

all right?

Okay.

Yeah.

Yeah. You're fully dilated.

Hey, I need that doctor

right now.

There are no free doctors.

Nurse, you're gonna have

to deliver that baby yourself.

I can see the head!

Holy sh*t!

[screaming]

Check it out.

We did it.

We had a boy.

A boy. You are my hero.

Mmm-hmm.

I name baby for you.

Oh! You don't have to do that.

Yeah. I must.

It is Latvian tradition.

We'll name the baby...

[grunting]

(Bernie on machine)

Hello,

you've reached the Fockers.

We're not around,

so leave us a message.

Goodbye.

Roz, how the hell

do you shut this thing off?

(Roz on machine)

I have no idea.

Just press a button.

(Bernie)

I'm pretty sure it's off.

Honey,

you want a chimichanga?

(Roz)

I thought they gave you gas.

A little bit,

but it's worth it.

Worth it for you,

but I'm the one

that gets the fumes.

Honey, I'm in the mood

for a chimichanga.

So make a...

[beeping]

Hi, guys, it's me.

Dad, I told you

six months ago

you have to change

that message.

Anyway, I'm just calling

to double check

'cause I didn't hear

back from you.

You know that

Pam and I are flying out

to Oyster Bay today.

And, then, we're flying

to Miami tomorrow

with the Byrneses.

And our flight gets in 7:30,

so we should be

at the house around 9:00.

So just give me a call

back on my cell, okay?

'Cause I want to go over

a few things

about Pam's dad and just, uh,

just some other stuff

for the weekend.

All right. I love you, bye.

Hey!

Hey, sweetie.

How was your shift?

Oh! Guess what?

What?

I delivered my first baby.

[gasps]

No way.

Mmm. Yeah.

Oh, honey,

I'm so proud of you.

It was incredible.

I mean, just...

Just to be pulling

this life force

out of this woman's...

You know, I mean,

it was just so... It was...

The whole baby thing is...

It's so cool.

That's great, honey.

That's great.

So, uh, are you ready to go?

I want to get

to the airport early.

I know.

Just give me a second.

You know how things

always goes wrong.

The flight leaves

in four hours.

I wish we could set

a wedding date

without our parents

actually having to meet.

Honey, this weekend

is gonna be fine.

And your parents are great.

Oh, they're great

in small doses.

Well, 48 hours

in Coconut Grove

is a small dose.

Besides, you've already

won over my dad,

and that is the hard part.

Mmm. That is true.

I mean, I am still

in the Byrnes family

circle of trust, right?

You're firmly in the circle.

[chuckling]

Finally.

Oh, taxi!

# All the time #

# As we go walking by #

Going to the airport?

Yeah.

Take mine.

Great.

# It's all right #

Nice guy.

Yeah.

# Hold you tight #

# We're gonna get married #

# Take her hand in mine #

# We'll be looking fine #

# In the sweet sunshine #

You two, you're up.

# Please don't leave #

# All those

who love us to be there #

# One great big happy family #

# We're gonna get married #

# We're gonna get married #

# We're gonna get married #

# Wait and see #

Oh, dear.

What?

Well, they overbooked coach.

[sighing]

So what does that mean?

Do we miss our flight or...

Well, we are gonna have to

upgrade you to first class.

Really?

[chuckling]

Thank you.

[grunting]

Oh! Sir, why don't you

let me take that for you?

Okay, yeah.

So, uh, you wanna check it

or put it on another flight

'cause that's cool,

whatever you want to do.

I'm just gonna store it

in the Captain's closet.

That was nice.

Yeah.

Champagne?

Thank you.

Champagne, sir?

Thank you.

Enjoy.

# We'll be looking fine #

# In the sweet sunshine #

Would you like to purchase

rental insurance, Mr. Focker?

Um...

No. Thanks.

No?

[whispering]

It's a scam.

That's how they

make all their money.

That's true.

You don't need it.

Get out of here.

# We're gonna get married #

# We're gonna get married #

# Wait and see ##

The House of Byrnes.

Lot of good memories here.

Mom? Dad?

I am watching you.

[gurgling]

Well, almost,

but you have to do it

with two fingers.

One on each eye like this:

I am watching you.

[gurgling]

We'll get back to that later.

Guess who's here?

It's Prof. Einstein.

Hi, Little Jack.

You're a genius.

I see a Nobel Prize

in your future.

Yes, I do.

Study break, boys.

Company's here.

Pamcake!

Flapjack!

[chuckling]

(both)

Shortstack,

shortstack coming up!

Put some syrup

in the cup.

Pa, pa, pa, pa,

pa, pa, pa.

That's how it goes, right?

That's okay, Greg.

Nice to see you.

Yes.

Nice to see you, Grandpa.

[Little Jack gurgling]

My God.

How did my nephew get so big?

Look at you.

You look just

like your mommy.

(Greg)

He does, doesn't he?

Hey. Hey. This is Greg.

Remember

we talked about him?

(Greg)

Hey.

[chuckling]

Sorry, Greg.

The card only

comes in one gender.

Oh! Yeah.

Now, that's... that's all right.

[Little Jack gurgles]

(Jack)

He's taking you in.

He has a very keen sense

for people, Greg.

Mmm.

He's a chip

off the old block, huh?

We might have another CIA man

on our hands here.

I'd be discreet

about my profession, Greg,

if I were you.

You know what I mean?

As far as

your parents are concerned,

I'm still a horticulturist.

Hey, why is Little Jack here?

Are Deb and Bob house-sitting,

while we're in Florida?

No, they're in Ko Saimii,

Thailand.

Checking on the clinic

they opened

during their honeymoon.

[chuckling]

What is all this stuff,

anyway?

After Denny was

sent away to military school,

your father turned this

into a learning laboratory

for you-know-who over there.

And do you talk yet,

Mr. Munchkinhead?

[babbling]

Greg, Greg, Greg.

Don't infantilize him.

Talk to him like an adult.

(Dina)

Muskrat.

Huh?

Muskrat, Jack.

All right.

[chuckling]

Just try to understand

he's a little person.

His communication skills

aren't verbal yet,

but he understands.

Observe.

L.J., are you hungry?

Oh, wow.

[mumbling]

(Greg)

Look at that.

"I would like to

eat more please."

"I'd like a nap,

and then later

I'll enjoy a nice poop."

[spluttering]

Oh, yeah. I've heard about

this, this baby signing stuff.

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