Meet the Sniper

[The sniper's trailer drives over the camera. The scene changes to the inside of said trailer, with the camera focusing on a bobble-head. The sniper flicks it in the head.]

Sniper:

“Boom. Headshot.”

[The meet the sniper title card appears. The scene changes back to the sniper in his trailer.]

Sniper:

“Snipin’s a good job, mate. It’s challengin’ work, Out of doors, I guarantee you’ll not go hungry,

[The scene changes to the sniper brushing his teeth in front of a mirror. On the side, there are three pictures. A blu scout and a blu engineer, with x’s drawn over them, and a blue heavy, with the camera zooming in on him.]

Because at the end of the day, as long as there’s two people left on the planet, someone’s gonna want someone dead.”

[The scene changes to the blu heavy, firing away before getting shot in the head. The bullet goes through his skull and hits the blu demoman, who gets his bottle stuck in his eye. He fumbles around, screaming and shooting his grenade launcher, before he falls off the bridge and into some barrels, which then explode.]

Sniper:

“Ooh.”

[The scene changes to the Sniper on the phone.]

Sniper:

“Dad, I… I’m not a crazed gunman, dad. I’m an assassin! Well, the difference being ones a job and the others mental sickness!”

[The scene changes back to the sniper in his trailer.]

Sniper:

“I’ll be honest with ya, my parents do NOT care for it.”

[The scene changes to the sniper climbing up a tower. It changes again to him aiming in said tower.]

Sniper:

“I think his mate saw me.”

[Shots are fired at the tower.]

Sniper:

“Yes, yes he did.”

[The scene changes to a timelapse of the sniper aiming, drinking coffee, and peeing in a jar. The scene changes again to the blu spy getting stabbed by the Sniper’s kukri.]

Sniper:

“Feelings? Look mate, you know who has a lot of feelings?

[The scene changes back to the sniper in his trailer]

Blokes who bludgeon their wives to death with golf trophies. Professionals have standards.”

[The scene goes back to the dead blu spy. The sniper puts his hat on his chest.]

Sniper:

“Be polite.

[The scene changes to the sniper shooting multiple blu Mercs in the head.]

Be efficient.

[The scene changes to the Sniper reloading his rifle.]

Have a plan to kill everyone you meet.”

[The sniper shoots the camera and it goes black. The ending title card plays, before changing to the sniper on the phone again.]

Sniper:

“Dad, dad. Put, put mom on the phone.”

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