Mektup

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I'd been following them since

the big city. They were fugitives.

At first I didn't understand why they

were coming to this secluded seaside town.

Your father had been involved

in some covert work for years.

That's why the organization

kept a close eye on him.

My youth, when I look

back at those years,

I could never have imagined my

life would turn out like this.

It'd been six months since I began

the assignment. I was a real novice.

I spent the six months doing absolutely

nothing. Then, one day they called on me.

I was really excited.

Your father was my first job.

They assigned me to watch your father.

He was considered

dangerous from the start.

You wouldn't know;

you weren't around then.

It was winter, January or February.

The town was completely deserted.

What if I lost sight of them,

even for a minute?

How would I explain that to my bosses?

I constantly lives that fear.

Do you know your father did that to me?

How could I have known that I would

spend my whole life obsessed with him...

that I would witness

his frenzy, his pain?

I didn't understand why

they came to this town.

Were they planning to escape

to some other country?

But then, they didn't leave for anywhere.

They just got married.

After that I understood everything.

Then something very strange happened.

I guess they assumed I was a

local and picked me up by the road.

All of a sudden I found myself

a witness to their wedding.

Your mother's family had no idea about

that clandestine wedding ceremony.

And your father, he had

no one during those years.

The story of your father's life is

also partly my life story.

I must confess I'm having this

feeling for the first time in my life.

It's like I'm descending from the moon.

Is this my country or is it not?

I don't really know.

But I think I have some

idea about what to expect.

I'm going to visit your grave, meet your

friends, visit this country where I was born,

like a tourist, and then return to where

I live my life. And that's about it.

I'm just a singer.

Recording, film-clips, TV.

I couldn't' care less about them.

I like what I do, that's it.

I will never forget he said " I found you

in the womb where you were conceived."

- May he rest in peace.

- Hey, give us some money.

- I hope you won't get too frustarted

with all of this. - Why's that?

Oh come on... these graves, the dead.

We've prepared a list of the

people we're going to see.

- It looks like they're a pretty

colorful bunch. - Is that so?

Yes they really look interesting. Have you

really not seen this face for forty years?

Yes. The last time... the face.

I remember is very vague.

Anyway, he was always

going off somewhere.

Now, as I look at my house.

I think I begin to see him.

My childhood seems so remote.

Everything is just like it was

when I was a child, isn't it?

- I don't know you. I don't know.

- This is where you were born?

I think it was in this room...

Wasn't it?

- I don't know.

- But I'm his son.

He doesn't believe me.

- Did he live here before he died?

- I don't know.

Listen, he just wants to speak

with people who knew his father.

- This is very important for him.

- I don't know.

Who knows how many times I'd

been up and down these stairs.

So it happened all at one, did it?

You woke up one morning and realized

that you missed your country.

- Just like that. Does that seems funny

to you? - No, just a little strange.

Sure you'd find it strange,

you're still so young.

- What does this have to do with my age?

- If only I were your age.

- Are you ever presumptuous!

- I am not. I wonder what you'd do.

If you hadn't seen your

father for forty years?

- What are you laughing about?

- Oh, nothing.

- Am I really so old?

- Where is that coming from?

- Well, what is it then?

- You see that woman over there.

- She's been eyeing you for some time.

- Just give her the tongue.

- Nilufer, you're on.

- I'm coming.

I really missed him.

He left, and never returned.

- I didn't know he had a son.

- How do you do, madam.

Do you know that his father did to me?

He called to me to the train station in that

awful town and said: The idiot is going

to India, to New Delhi. He wrote to

the university there and got registered.

I shouted out," Are you going

to come back?" as he left.

But he left, and never returned.

At least that's what I thought.

But he deceived me.

On top of that he had a child:

This kid standing right here across from

me in a daze, staring at me, not eating.

Don't you like it? I know you don't

like it. Who do you think you are

- not eating me food? Who

are you? - We will eat madam.

- Just a minute... - We will eat

madam, we were listening to you.

No, I don't need any love.

Just tell me frankly you don't like it.

- If you don't like it, then just leave.

- Please, just a minute...

- You've misunderstood us. - Get out

of my house right away. I said, go.

- Please just a minute. You've misunderstood us.

- Get out of here. Get out.

- So you don't like me you don't

like my food. - No I don't.

But you're going to eat it.

You'll have to eat it until you die.

Well, I'm eating it and I'm dying.

That woman has really aged. They say

she was really beautiful in her youth.

- So, what did your father do in India?

- He studied medicine

and became a pediatrician. My mother always

used to say, "Your father's an Indian."

- So? -I don't know. My mother

never said anything about this.

Maybe because of my step-father.

In any case, It was my mother who always

told me about this country, about my father.

I married an important woman from Prague, did

important work, became an important person...

all for my mother. The state

has always protected me.

- You opposed to nuclear energy? - I say,

"Tender is the night." - Oh, that's great.

Well, I can't beat you at this game.

I go to work every morning by

helicopter. It's always the same.

I work at a research center

in the desert. And at night

I also return to my important

home, my important wife,

my important mother and my important song

by helicopter. That's my important life.

- What about you?

- Just what you see.

You sing... and you also work as a tour

guide to make some extra money.

- True, that's about it. -So, you're

a free spirit. You don't have to go back

- to that desert like me. - And now you've

come here to get to know your father.

There was a film director who was

hung up on his father. You're like him.

- Who was that?

- Bertolucci, I think.

Are you dissatisfied with your life? Are you

one of those miserable middle,aged people?

- No, I'm happy with my life.

- I can see that.

Sure, I knew him from poker.

He was completely fearless.

I've watched him play a lot. No one can

call his bluff. Later I heard that he had

gotten mixed up in some political business.

Not something I know much about.

I guess was an important person.

You see that woman?

They used to say something was going on

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