Melinda and Melinda Page #4

and Greg always likes complicated women.

Doug has already hyped him on her.

Ask her if we can give him her number, OK?

- Hey.

- Melinda.

- Hey.

- Hi.

Hi.

My friend Walt. This is Melinda.

She just moved in.

- How are you?

- Nice to meet you.

- How's it going?

- All right.

l just interviewed for ajob at an art gallery

and l don't think it went too well.

You never know. l had a voice-over audition

today. Thought l'd never get it.

Bang, l was chosen.

lt's the voice of a toothpaste.

That's good. l'm trying to decide

whether to stay and wait for the phone call

or whether l should go out

and treat myself to a movie.

Why don't you come with us?

- Where?

- Going to the track.

- To the track?

- Yeah. Horse races. Belmont.

- What, you play the horses?

- Never.

Well, l go every ten years. Walt's always

going. He's a gambling degenerate.

- Yes. Can't you tell l'm a degenerate?

- l'm a complete novice, like you.

Come on. lt's a beautiful day.

We'll have some laughs.

- Sure. l don't have any money.

- l've got plenty of money.

For both of us. We'll pool our resources.

- lf you want.

- OK. All right. Yeah.

- Nice to meet you.

- Nice to meet you again.

- Come on! Come on, Bedazzled!

- Let's go, Bedazzled.

No, no. You did not bet on Bedazzled.

lt's a 90-1 horse!

- lf it wins, we're rich.

- He's right, Hobie. He's dropping back.

No, no, no, no, no. He's second.

He's second... second from last.

So, l have to ask you, how'd you go from

living on the Upper East Side to St Louis?

l moved there for him. He was gorgeous.

He was talented, he was sexy,

he was a doctor, he was charming...

Yes, but where's the attraction?

- He just knew how to touch me.

- You mean emotionally?

No, with his hands.

l'm a very passionate person,

so sex is very important to me.

You know, l need a lot of physical intimacy

very often and creatively.

Right. Right, right, right, right.

That's... that's... Yeah.

- Am l being too frank?

- No, no, no. No, l just...

l'll be OK. l get hot flashes.

- Your wife is passionate. l can tell by looking.

- Right, right.

A lot of people have noticed.

Why did your marriage fail again?

He was cheating with his secretary.

l felt neglected,

so l started seeing someone else.

l just wanna find someone,

fall in love and have a life.

- Hello.

- Hey. Guess what?

- What?

- Steve is putting up the money for my film.

That's great. Congratulations.

So if l'm suddenly very busy and distracted,

don't take it personally.

- And we have to talk about casting.

- Yes.

- What did you do today?

- l told you. l went out to the track.

Yeah. With who again?

With who? With me, with me.

With me... me and Walt. Walt Wagner.

- Well, l hope you didn't lose a lot.

- No. We don't have a lot, so l couldn't.

ln fact, if l had more money,

we could've lost more.

lt's a system l developed.

Why didn't you just tell her

Melinda came along?

- What did you just say about Melinda?

- What? No.

l didn't say anything about Melinda.

- You just muttered her name.

- l was wondering how the poor thing's doing.

You know, plain-looking girl, all alone...

- l'd hardly call her plain-looking.

- Well...

Jennifer wants to set her up with someone.

Remember Greg Earlinger, Doug's dentist?

We met him once. He's a tall, sexy,

handsome-looking guy. The Bentley.

Very well off. Charming, bright.

- You commented on how impressive he was.

- Vaguely.

- Anyway, Doug's hyped him on Melinda.

- Yeah, l think... Why, l do recall him.

Wasn't he full of himself, though?

Kind of an unjustified self-confidence?

- As l recall, it was justified.

- Someone who has an answer for everything.

l'm gonna ask Melinda

if it's OK if we give him her number.

No. No, don't be silly.

What does she wanna do with a dentist?

She was already married to a doctor.

She found that dull.

- A dentist is the same thing, but oral.

- Greg's not dull.

He hikes. He's a great bridge player.

Tennis. He goes on safaris.

Well, it ... l mean, who goes on safaris?

- You need shots to do that.

- Melinda, hey, it's Susan. How are you?

Good. l was wondering if it was OK with you

if we give your number to this wonderful guy.

l'm not giving the number out.

Don't say that l am...

He's a very rich dentist. He's cultivated

and athletic. He's gorgeous-looking.

''Gorgeous dentist'' is an oxymoron.

And... There's nothing to be nervous about.

Look, we'll all go out, the four of us.

We'll go to dinner or we'll go to a show

or something. l don't think you'll be sorry.

- l think she's never, ever gonna go for it.

- OK, great.

- Not in a million years.

- Fantastic. OK, bye.

- She loves the idea.

- l told you.

Hi. What are you doing down here?

l got the part! The director kept insisting

and the producers finally gave in.

- That's great, Lee.

- Finally, a role l can make sing.

You're certainly a natural for the character.

- Why would you say that?

- You've said it a hundred times.

l said l could act the hell out of it. He's a loser.

Let's not fight. l meant

nobody can play the part like you can.

You see me like that, don't you?

l'm asking. ls that how you see me?

l'm really happy for you. l know how much

you wanted this. Can't we leave it at that?

l'm wired. l didn't mean to seem snappish.

Shall we go out to dinner and celebrate?

- Tonight's Cassie's party.

- Yeah, right. OK. Jesus.

lt's time Melinda met someone, moved on.

l'd like a little privacy in the apartment.

OK.

l've got a couple of options.

l could wear...

l can wear this skirt

with this shirt, like this.

This goes around the other way, like this,

and l could wear it with this shirt here.

- What do you think?

- The silk one is sexier, but this one's elegant.

You think the silk one's sexier? So maybe

l should wear this. Sex works best in the end.

Men like to feel there's some hot payoff

waiting for 'em somewhere down the track.

- God, look at me. l'm so fat.

- Fat? Melinda, everyone should be so fat.

l didn't eat anything since Friday.

l wanted to lose six pounds.

lt's not healthy. l mean, an empty stomach

and all those pills, and...

l don't know. Maybe this is better. Maybe

sex is too predatory a message to send,

and elegance is a wiser opening gambit.

l don't think it matters much.

You look great. Doesn't she?

Yeah. Very stylish.

Look at me. l'm fat. l can't lose any weight.

l think l need another drink.

Alcohol's fattening.

- Can you make it a vodka?

- Plus an empty stomach with pills?

Vodka's not fattening.

l need something to calm me down,

just to make me a little more confident.

- l've got goddamn circles under my eyes.

- You look fine.

That's easy for you to say

because you're still beautiful.

l feel like l'm running on empty.

l don't wanna go.

Honestly, l don't wanna go to this thing.

Come on. lt's just a little party with friends.

How did l wind up desperate? Because that's

what l am, Laurel. There's no other word.

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