Men in Black Page #14

ZED (O.S.)

You will have no identifying marks

of any kind. You will not stand out

in any way.

INT. MIB BUILDING - HEADQUARTERS - DAY

One by one, KAY deletes Edwards's identity cards.

On the computer screen is Edwards' full name -- JAMES DARREL

EDWARDS III.

Kay punches a couple keys, and the cursor begins to sweep

from right to left, starting to eliminate the rightmost

letters of Edwards's name.

ZED (O.S.)

Your entire image is carefully crafted

to leave no lasting memory whatsoever

with anyone you encounter.

INT. MIB BUILDING - LOCKER ROOM - DAY

Pants come off the hanger. The white shirt is removed.

More letters are eliminated from his name. It reads "JAMES

DARREL ED..." then "JAMES DARR..."

ZED (O.S.)

You're a rumor, recognizable only as

deja vu and dismissed just as quickly.

You don't exist; you were never even

born.

The coat is removed. The hat comes off the shelf.

ZED (O.S.)

Anonymity is your name. Silence your

native tongue.

"JAMES..." "JAM..."

ZED (O.S.)

You are no longer part of "the

system." We're above the system.

Over it. Beyond it.

Feet slip into black shoes. A belt is buckled. A tie pushed

up.

ZED (O.S.)

We're "them." We're "they."

On screen, all that's left is the letter "J."

As the coat is buttoned, we notice the sleeve. Monogrammed

on the cuff is, simply, the letter "J."

ZED (O.S.)

We are the Men in Black.

INT. MIB BUILDING - HEADQUARTERS - DAY

Looking slick and handsome in his extremely sharp suit, JAMES

D EDWARDS III -- or, rather, JAY -- steps into the doorway

from the locker room. He reaches into his pocket, takes out

the sunglasses, and looks at KAY.

JAY:

The difference between you and me?

He slips on the sunglasses.

JAY:

I make this look good.

CUT TO:

EXT. NEW JERSEY - EARLY MORNING

We are looking at a telephoto shot of Manhattan in all its

splendor.

We see the Orkin van topping a hill, heading towards

Manhattan.

INT. MIB BUILDING - ZED'S OFFICE - DAY

Zed's office is a circular, windowed room elevated above the

main floor of MIB headquarters. JAY and KAY sit across the

desk from Zed. There are five video monitors on a wall behind

Zed's desk, and on each monitor is another Man in Black, in

different parts of the world, the city name and a clock

ticking in a corner of the image.

While Zed talks, he goes through paperwork on his desk.

ZED:

Okay, let's see.

(to one of the monitors)

Bee, we got the deposed sur-prefect

of Sinalee touching down in the forest

outside Portland tonight. I'm pulling

you down from Anchorage to do a meet-

and-greet.

BEE, an agent on one of the monitors, nods.

BEE:

Humanoid?

ZED:

You wish. Bring a sponge.

(going through memos)

What else -- everybody, we gotta

keep Rolling Fish-Goat out of the

sewer system, he's scaring the rats.

And Bobo the Squat wants to reveal

himself on "Unsolved Mysteries."

Bee, make sure he doesn't.

He turns a page, coming across a red memo.

ZED:

Red-letter from last night -- we had

an un-authorized landing somewhere

in upstate New York farm country.

Keep your ears open for this one,

Kay, we're not hosting a galactic

kegger down here.

Next to him, his computer screen BEEPS importantly. Zed looks

over at it.

ZED:

Well, well, well -- we got a skimmer.

KAY:

(to Jay)

Landed alien out of zone.

(to Zed)

Who is it?

ZED:

Redgick. He's not cleared to leave

Manhattan but he's way out of town

right now, stuck in traffic on the

New Jersey Turnpike. Why don't you

take Jay? This is a good one for him

to warm up on.

EXT. MIB BUILDING - BATTERY PARK - DAY

JAY and KAY come out the front of MIB headquarters.

JAY:

Yo, wussup with Zed?

(imitating him)

"Go get em, tiger. We're not hosting

an intergalactic kegger..."

KAY:

Zed was saving the world before you

were born, son. Show some respect.

An MIB MECHANIC pulls up in Kay's black LTD and hops out,

leaving the door open. Jay sizes up the car.

JAY:

We got the use of unlimited technology

from the entire universe and we cruise

around in this?

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