Men in Black Page #34

The Bug flies into two pieces -- the butt end sailing one

way; the head flying behind Jay.

Kay falls out of the Bug, in a mess of goo, gasping for

breath, dropping the atomizer from his slippery fingers.

The other gun sails off into the darkness.

The ICON drops to the ground, rolls over to Jay's feet, and

CLATTERS to rest like a silver dollar on a barroom floor.

He calmly bends down and picks it up. Jay is pissed and starts

in on Kay.

JAY:

You son of a --

Kay holds up a finger in a 'wait a minute' gesture -- pulls

out his pocket phone and hits a number.

KAY:

Zed. Get a message to the Arquillians.

We have the galaxy.

INT. MIB HEADQUARTERS - NIGHT

Zed is standing at the console, a smile on his face. He

glances over at the console that displays alien arrivals and

departures on the earth. The red lights are coming back on.

ZED:

I think the word's already out. Our

friends are coming back.

(then)

Got an authorized landing at Times

Square. You and Jay check it out on

the way back... And pick me up one

of those soft pretzels, while you're

at it. Extra salt. I feel like

celebrating.

EXT. WORLD'S FAIR - NIGHT

Kay flips the phone closed.

KAY:

You were saying?

JAY:

Getting eaten!? That was your plan!?

KAY:

(shrugs)

Worked.

As they argue, behind them, unseen, THE FRONT HALF OF THE

BUG RAISES ITSELF UP on its forearms, eyes gleaming with

hate, jaws dripping -- ready to lower itself onto Kay and

Jay.

JAY:

After I got the sh*t beat out of me!

KAY:

And I almost got digested. It goes

with the job.

JAY:

You coulda told me what you were

doing.

KAY:

There wasn't time, sport!

HISSS! The Bug attacks, swinging its head down on them. They

turn to see it, and just before the jaws snap down on their

heads...

BOOM! The Bug's head explodes into a million bits. Bug juice

showers down everywhere, bucketsful of goo drenching Kay and

Jay even further.

They turn to see...

LAUREL standing behind the dead Bug, the other atomizer in

her hands, the barrel smoking, the weapon and Laurel dripping

the Bug innards.

LAUREL:

Interesting job you guys got.

ON THE SKY. Bits of Bug juice still flying through the air.

INT. A CAR ON THE ADJOINING FREEWAY - NIGHT

The driver sees something tumbling toward the windshield. He

winces.

-- AND THE BUG'S REMAINS SPLAT AGAINST THE WINDSHIELD.

The driver grimaces at the mess.

DRIVER:

Damn bugs.

He reaches down and hits a button. Wiper fluid squirts onto

the windshield and the wipers spread the bug goo everywhere.

CUT TO:

EXT. MIB BUILDING - NIGHT

Kay's LTD is parked outside Men in Black headquarters. LAUREL

leans her back against the car. We see JAY and KAY walking

away in the distance.

JAY:

Look, I know we got rules, but she

did just bust the Bug for us. And so

maybe you don't have to flashy thing

her.

Kay pulls out the neuralyzer.

JAY:

Who's she gonna tell, anyway? She

only hangs out with dead people.

KAY:

Not her. Me.

(looking up at the

sky)

They're beautiful, aren't they? The

stars. I never just look anymore and

they're beautiful.

JAY:

Kay, you're scaring your partner.

KAY:

I haven't been training a partner --

I've been training a replacement.

JAY:

Oh no, I can't do this job by myself.

LAUREL:

(walking towards them)

Hey, guys, we're nowhere near my

apartment. We're not even on the

right island.

KAY:

Maybe you won't have to.

Kay starts dialing back the neuralyzer.

KAY:

Days. Months. Years. Always face it

forwards.

He hands the neuralyzer to Jay. Taps his pocket. Indicates

for him to put his glasses on. Jay resists.

KAY:

I've just been down the gullet of an

interstellar cockroach. That's one

of a hundred memories I don't want.

Jay takes the neuralyzer. Slips on his glasses.

KAY:

See you around, sport.

Jay raises the neuralyzer. With a brilliant FLASH, the screen

turns white.

JAY:

No, you won't.

CUT TO:

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