Mercy Page #4

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but that's amazing.

- Yeah, well, stick around,

'cause it gets better.

- Okay.

- I can't believe

I've never seen this movie.

- I told you.

- It's really good.

I always thought

it was such a guy movie.

- Well, it sort of is.

- It sort of isn't.

All those tough guys?

Just a bunch of scared

little kids who want a hug.

- Is that what you think?

- Yeah.

What do you think?

- I think you may have

missed the point.

- Oh, really?

- Yeah.

- Hmm.

You're a walking contradiction.

You know that?

- I'm a-me?

- Yeah.

- How-why's that?

- Well, you're a gentleman.

You know, you open the door,

you throw the jacket in the mud,

but you take back the rose.

You're charming,

but you're careful.

You write about love,

but, um, you don't know

how to spell it.

Talk.

What are you?

It's good.

- That's it?

- Well, it's only a few pages.

- No, it's a chapter.

- Well, I said it was good.

- I don't do this, you know?

- You don't do what?

- I don't check in.

- Meaning?

- I usually

don't seek out approval.

- Is that what you're doing?

- Well, I respect your opinion.

- You do?

- Yes, I do.

Tell me what you think,

and don't say, "It's good."

Well...

I think that shirt

you're wearing

makes your eyes pop out

of your head like a spaceship.

- Thank you.

- I think it's good.

I'm just not sure

what you're writing about now.

- Thank you.

Jesus, that's all

I wanted to hear.

- That's all you wanted?

- Yeah.

- Why didn't you just say so?

- 'Cause I was waiting

for you to ask.

- Oh.

Complicated.

- Difficult.

- Oh, yeah?

Pray tell.

- I like you.

- I like you too.

- So this character...

- You.

- This character.

- Okay, fine.

- All right,

very strange upbringing,

raised by wolves,

not literally,

but raised by his single father

who appears to hate women.

He's a class-act, this guy,

right, despite the above.

True gentleman, just been burned

one too many times.

He teaches the young man

everything he knows

despite his seemingly

true feelings:

Romance, chivalry,

the whole thing.

But contrarian of that,

the way of the wolf.

- And wolves hate women.

- That's a fact.

- Of course.

- Now, he's been told

all his life

about the evil ways of women-

the bad doings,

what have you-

but simultaneously,

he's taught to be a ladies' man.

What does he see?

He sees his mother.

What is she?

- She's terrible.

- Right.

- You know, I think that Freud

already wrote this one.

In fact,

he wrote a few of them.

- Yeah, but this is

a love story.

- Oh, I see.

- Yeah.

- So then what happens?

- I don't know yet.

It's only the first chapter.

- One-one Mallards on one.

Ready?

All:
Break!

- Down.

Hut!

- Get him!

- There he goes!

- Go, go!

- Ah, get him!

- Oh!

- All right!

- All right, all right.

- Aw, we'll sit one out.

- Sitting one out.

Run five, yeah?

- Come on, you pussies.

- Shut up, b*tch.

- Let's go. Let's go!

- P*ssy.

- Ah.

I can't breathe.

- Bogie?

- Oh...

- Hut, hut!

- There he is!

Get him!

Come on!

- Go! Go! Go!

- I got it!

- Go, go, go!

Get him!

- You hit like a b*tch.

- B*tch.

- My ribs!

- You seeing that girl?

- What girl?

- Do me a favor.

I haven't seen you

for two weeks.

You f***ing her?

Oh, excuse me.

I mean, that would be

so unlike you.

- You know what?

I don't even want

to talk about it.

- Oh!

- Hey, douche bag!

It's a football!

Don't be scared of it.

Just catch it!

- All right, hop up.

- No way, man!

What are you talking about?

- What?

- What?

- What, what?

Speak, you little prick.

What's the problem?

- There's no problem.

She's going back to New York

in a couple days anyway.

- Ah, she lives in New York?

- Yeah.

- Aw, that's too bad.

- It is what it is.

- You know what's good?

- No, what?

- That I don't have to sit here

and give you some

sentimental bullshit story

about life, some lecture,

waste my time telling you

some bullshit

that you already know.

- Set.

Offsides.

- It's good.

You're a smart guy.

You're smarter than me,

so fortunately,

I don't have to say anything.

Or better yet,

you see that girl?

She's a nice-looking girl.

Maybe you could walk over there,

get her number,

and you could f*** her tonight.

And then you could spend

the rest of the evening

trying to figure out

how to get her to leave.

Sounds like fun, doesn't it?

- Pass!

- No, it's a run!

It's a run!

He's going outside!

- Yeah!

- Come on.

Play defense, Janice,

or what?

Uh-Oh!

Turnover, b*tch!

Hey!

- What?

Huh?

- I said, "Are you?"

- Yes, I am.

- You think that's important?

- Don't get snappy with me.

- Are you impressed?

- I'll make you eat cannoli.

- Oh, ew.

- Please.

Please.

It's good.

- Oh...

- Here.

I'm sorry.

- Oh, great.

- That was mean.

I'm sorry.

I won't do that again.

- Yeah, that's really funny.

- I won't.

This time I won't.

I promise.

I swear to God.

Do it again.

Have a bite of the cannoli.

I promise.

I'll close my eyes.

Eat it.

- I'm leaving tomorrow.

- I know.

Fun trip.

Well, this is me.

- I know.

Can I come in for a little bit?

- What for?

Sorry.

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean it like that.

Yes.

Of course.

You can come in

for a little bit.

- Don't go back to New York.

Stay with me.

- What?

- Stay here.

Look at me.

I have never met a woman

that I've wanted to spend

ten minutes with,

let alone ten days, okay?

I don't know

what's gonna happen,

but I just know

I don't want you to go.

I don't even know

what's happening right now,

because I have nothing

to compare it to,

but just stay.

- I can't just do that.

- Why not?

- I don't know.

- If you leave,

I'll kill you.

- Me too.

- My man.

My man!

- Uno ms?

- I don't speak Spanish, amigo.

- What can I do for you?

- I don't know.

I really don't know.

What can you do for me?

- Buddy, come on.

You want a drink or not?

- You got a lady, bro?

- What?

- You heard what I asked you.

- Yeah, yeah,

I got a lady, bro.

Now, do you want a drink

or not?

- She cute?

She take good care of you

or what?

Don't turn your back on me

when I'm talking to you.

Come here.

- Hey, man, am I missing

something here?

You got a problem with me?

- Well, you just seem

really happy, you know?

All smiles and sh*t

all night long.

Shitty job like this,

and you're smiling all night.

I'm thinking to myself,

this guy has got to have

a nice female at home

waiting for him.

So no problem.

I'm just-I'm just asking

if that's the case.

You know what I mean?

- All right, I see.

What happened?

Your girl left you?

She f***ing someone else, huh?

- What do you think you

would do, as a man, you know?

What do you think you'd do

if I leaned over this bar

and put this cigarette out

right in your f***ing neck, huh?

- You know what?

Get the f*** out of here.

- F*** you!

- Yeah, f*** me, yeah.

- F***ing piece of sh*t.

You know what?

I'm sorry.

One more thing.

I just gotta -

- Yeah, what's that, tough guy?

What the f***?

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