Milk Money Page #2

Uh, ma'am?

Get out of my way.

Excuse me.

Yes?

Are you a prostitute?

What?

Will you take your clothes off

for $103.62?

Thanks, Kevin.

What? What'd I do?

- You all right?

- No.

Psst, psst, psst. Guys...

You guys need some help?

Are you talking to us?

Yeah.

We want to see a naked lady.

Ooh, how much money you got?

$103.62.

Really?

That'll do it.

Come on.

Right through here.

Come on, come on, come on.

Where?

There are naked women in here?

Guys, you got to trust me.

Why should we trust you?

Because I got a gun.

Okay, open up, big boy.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Okay, backpacks.

Come on, do it.

Do it now!

I'm full, I'm full.

He's got a gun.

Get down, get down.

Stay down.

Stay.

Stay.

You okay?

Yeah.

Get us out of here!

Hey! Hey, wait a minute!

Wait a minute!

Son of a b*tch!

I want my money!

Oh, goddamn it!

You all right?

Yeah.

How am I going to get home?

I'm going to get in such trouble

for this.

Us, too.

Sh*t.

Well, I'm out of here.

You better go.

Do you need any help, ma'am?

Ma'am?

No, thanks.

You sure you don't need

something?

I need 100 bucks,

or I'm going to get smacked.

You got that?

Yes, I do.

You can have it.

You saved my life.

What are you doing

with all that money?

We wanted to see

a naked lady.

Oh, God.

You know what?

Why don't you take

that money and go home,

before you get hurt, okay?

I- I wish I could, but...

it means a lot to my friends,

and we just want a look.

How much looking?

As much as money can buy.

Okay.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Okay, pull your shirts up

over your heads.

You first.

Show me yours,

and I'll show you mine.

Our what?

Armpits, come on.

Come on.

Okay, you're not hairy enough

to be dangerous.

We're not hairy at all.

So, what's your name, lady?

V.

Like the letter?

What's it stand for?

What's your name?

Kevin.

I'm Frank.

Brad.

- Hey.

- Oh, hey.

Oh, God.

Come on, come in.

Excuse me.

What do we do now?

Just ask her to...

you know.

You kids see a lot of hookers?

No, this is our first one.

Why do you have

a picture of Grace Kelley?

'Cause I'd like to be like her:

Marry a prince

and never get old.

When you take your clothes off

for money, do you get cold?

Depends on the room.

I have this dream

that I'm naked at school,

and I have to get home

without anyone seeing me.

I have that dream, too.

Last time I had that dream,

there was an alligator

chasing me.

You ever get that one?

Nope.

Do you ever watch cartoons?

Yes.

Are you married?

Boy, you ask a lot of questions.

The meter's ticking.

She's on the bed.

She's on the bed!

Now, how do you

want to do this:

standing up or on the bed?

I'll stand.

I meant me, not you.

- On the bed.

- On the bed.

On the bed.

Bed.

Okay. Come here.

Do you want the lights

on or off?

Is she naked yet?

Don't start until I can see.

You turned off the lights.

We can't see.

All set?

What's the matter?

- I can't do it.

- I want to be a gentleman.

Doesn't a gentleman bring enough

for everybody?

This is the greatest moment

of my life.

Okay, that's it. Time's up.

Any questions?

After sex, you smoke.

It's a rule.

Anybody have any matches?

- No.

- No.

I feel it now. We're different.

How?

We're men.

Yeah.

Men without bikes.

Oh, boy.

Waltzer, Waltzer, look,

don't worry.

Your cut's waiting for you,

that's right.

Relax. Relax.

Look, I tell you what...

- Ow!

- Right.

Look, if you don't get all

of your dough,

feel free to kill me.

What do I look like, huh?

A Laundromat?

A slot machine?

'Cause I am not a slot machine.

You are a slot machine.

Step right up here, folks,

there's a winner every minute.

Sorry.

Oh, what,

I- I hurt your feelings?

No.

No, and you want to know why?

'Cause you don't got

no feelings.

Yes, I do.

I'm a person,

and I have feelings.

Oh, ho, you're a person now.

Hey, she's not a person,

is she, Betty?

Yeah, she sort of is.

Nobody's talking to you.

You know what

the test is, baby?

If you were a person,

you could do

whatever you want...

Ow.

and you can't,

'cause you do whatever

I tell you to do,

isn't that right, Betty?

Y eah.

I, on the other hand,

am a person.

I do what I want.

I take what I want.

I don't have to answer

to nobody.

Everybody answers to somebody.

You answer to Waltzer,

Waltzer answers

to Jerry the Pope.

Oh, oh, you think so, huh?

Yeah.

Waltzer steals from Jerry,

I steal from Waltzer.

They think that this

is their turf,

but they're wrong.

This all belongs to me.

I'm the man.

Yeah... you're the man, Cash.

Yeah, that's right.

Yeah, and the man's got

to go out.

Don't neither of yous two move

until I get back.

I am a person.

I'm a human being.

Yeah.

T ell the a**hole

I'm borrowing his car.

Hey, you can't do that, V.

Oh, yes, I can.

Didn't your mothers tell you

not to play in the rain?

Bye. Thanks.

Thank you.

See you guys.

This is where you live?

Yep. The yellow house

over there.

Do you like it?

Yeah, it's okay.

It was nice meeting you.

Likewise.

You're a very well-behaved

young man, you know.

Thanks.

All right.

Veronica.

Virginia?

West Virginia?

Good-bye.

I never really looked,

you know.

I didn't see anything.

That was funny.

Dad!

Hey!

Looks like TV.

Can I use your phone?

The phone's over here.

Where are your parents?

I only have one.

A father.

He's in the T onapiya

Wetlands.

What's that?

Well, this was all once

the T onapiya Wetlands.

He's trying to save

the last five acres,

but he won't.

Why?

No money.

He teaches science by day,

and, I don't know,

tries to save the wetlands

by night.

I admire him,

but I pity him, too.

You pity him?

Well, yeah,

his goals aren't realistic.

That's him.

Wait a minute...

maybe he shouldn't find me here,

you know?

Why not?

He's seen grown-ups before.

Hey, Dad.

Hey, Frank.

Dad, look.

Over there.

It's a girl.

I know.

What do you say?

Thank you?

T o her, to her.

Dad, this is V.

V, this is Dad.

Hello.

Hello... Dad.

What's she doing here?

Her car broke down.

Yeah, but who is she?

She's, uh...

she's Brad's new math tutor.

She gave me a ride home

from his house,

and then her car

wouldn't start.

You know what it is?

Well, it's not the starter.

Tom.

Larry.

Wow.

So, Frank was telling me

what you do.

Really?

Yeah. Do you enjoy it?

Enjoy it?

Sometimes.

Yeah, you get to move around,

change of scenery,

meet new people.

Well...

I never thought of it

that way.

You seem like

a real people person.

Oh.

Outgoing. Not like me.

No?

Thanks.

I bet you're really good at it.

Well, there's only one way

to find out.

Boy, am I glad

to hear you say that...

because it's the one subject

he's having trouble with.

You think you could fit him in?

"Him?"

Frank.

Frank? Are you kidding?

At his age?

Well, I'm afraid

if he doesn't learn it now,

he's never going to.

You know, I would

teach him myself,

but I'm way out of practice.

Ah!

Oh. Um...

You know, you should

never have to practice.

Rate this script:4.0 / 4 votes