Misery Loves Comedy Page #4

It was also a way to balance out

people picking on you.

Nobody f***ed with you

if you were funny

because they were scared

you'd mock them.

It's the one thing I could do to a

football player that he couldn't do to me.

I started doing drugs

when I was 15.

I started doing drugs heavily.

So I went to rehab

when I was 16.

And I got out of rehab

and, like, all my friends

that I hung out

with just ignored me.

They never called me anymore.

I lost my entire friend base.

So my grades were so bad

that I took theater

to get an easy A.

I'm like, it's the easiest

A I can take.

So I do that.

And I do a monologue

that had...

that was comedic.

We would put on plays

for the entire school

and, uh, it was like,

super Def Jammy,

so, like, people would,

like, boo and throw stuff.

And we did this play

that we had written

and I was one of the leads

and I came out and, uh,

just completely had the entire

theater just destroyed, rolling.

Like, just murdered

with this character,

and, like, to the point...

I mean, people, like, lost it.

And my teacher was just like...

I walked offstage

and she was like,

"There's way more here

than you're seeing."

She's like,

"You gotta, like..."

So I joined an improv group

and just started, like,

getting into comedy.

But it kind of, like, comedy took

over for what the drugs did for me.

I just became...

was so obsessed with drugs

and then that was gone

and so I just completely...

completely threw

myself into comedy.

You're controlling

this whole room.

You're giving them...

you're like a drug dealer.

You're giving them this drug that's

making them feel really good all at once.

From the time I was a kid and I got

addicted to people looking at me,

it's like, the reason

I want to do that for work

is because you get

addicted to that feeling.

You get addicted

to that immediate high.

I mean, that's why people become

addicted to sex or drugs or alcohol,

because it gives you what you

want or what you think you want.

Um, and with this,

it's a healthy way

to get love or whatever

it is that we call it.

But it's a constant...

it's like an adrenaline.

You know, there's nothing like

getting a laugh from people.

It's a really weird,

addictive high,

whether it's on a stage

or just with a...

It's a weird power thing,

which...

there's no other way

for me to achieve that.

There's no other way

for me to feel that

and nothing else

can compare to that,

so what kind of job

would I do...

I would go to work all day

and be miserable,

'cause no job is gonna

compare to that feeling.

So I think that was why I had

to keep doing it because this...

I'm always chasing that feeling.

How did that feel?

Oh, it... I'm sorry.

When you finally had...

Crack cocaine.

Yeah. Rock... crack... rock

cocaine... crack cocaine.

Because...

Big rock cocaine.

Because, um, when you're alone

and you're solo up there

and you can modulate them

and you get the laughs

and you can build on it and you can

go back and forth and you can...

the power of, like, calling back

something and having them...

It's like you're

the one-man show

and the adrenaline and blood

shoots through your head

in a way that I think is

identical to...

- to crystal meth.

- Yeah.

I would do gigs,

I would do a shot

at 12:
30 and at 4:00

in the morning,

I still can't figure out

why I'm not asleep,

because it had just shot,

you know, the adrenaline

shoots through you.

I feel like comedy

is a drug in a weird way

and I don't know what

it's a gateway to,

but, doing more drugs?

Hour-long specials?

Hour-long drugs?

What does it lead to?

A sitcom of...

And you want a nightly drug.

A nightly thing?

I mean, it is, it really is.

And it's a buzz and you go,

"I gotta get that again."

I mean, you go to another

club the same night.

'- Cause you go, "I did this club already.

-" Yeah.

I did all these drugs here.

That's awesome.

And now let's go to another place where

there's more drugs. That's old porn.

That's old porn,

yeah, that's old porn.

I wanna go to a place...

I need some fresh.

It is a drug, you know?

And the closest thing...

When you have a... when you

have a moment of... of either

hilarity or vulnerability

on stage

or something that...

where you...

It's the closest thing

I've ever come to,

even in acting class,

of spirituality

where you kind of,

like, anything...

and I hate that

I'm even saying that word,

but like,

of any kind of, like...

But it's that powerful.

It is that powerful.

It's the closest thing I've had to,

you know, like, people speaking in tongues

or whatever and getting...

having an enlightened feeling.

Uh, when you have a moment on

stage or in film where you're...

But especially on stage,

where you're in front of

a live audience, where you're...

It's only happening

in that moment.

Yeah, yeah, and it's like,

bang, and it's your...

It's a feeling of enlightenment.

A feeling of freedom,

liberty, yeah.

It took a big chunk of time

for me to discover it,

to discover that silence

is the root of all comedy.

That's where it lays.

Um, because, uh,

all silence did

was panic me, so I...

If there was silence,

it meant they weren't laughing

or they were contemplating

how to kill me.

I don't think

there's any bigger thrill

in comedy

than when knowing

a big laugh's coming up

and they don't know.

When you've got

that little secret

where you're like, "In a second,

you're gonna be laughing."

And maybe they're

uncomfortable, or maybe...

I have... I have

a routine where, uh,

I took a friend of mine with

muscular dystrophy to a brothel

and there's

this moment just before

the woman sucks

the disabled guy off,

on stage, where they're

all going, "This is horrible,"

and I have a punchline that's

gonna zing, and that for me...

Silence is...

sometimes when you watch...

Do you ever watch, like, movies being

made and you can tell the editing?

When you can tell

jokes where you go,

"That joke worked,

but you cut it off too quick."

And someone who was editing it went,

"Well, that joke's over," boom.

You can gauge what that...

you know when the laughter

is gonna come.

You get that response built-in so that

when you're in the vacuum of an audience,

you know... you understand timing,

you understand the fundamentals.

Comedians, you know,

you have certain laugh ears, you can hear.

That's where you're

listening to the audience

and that's where some,

you know, new comedians,

you know, they bomb

and they come off stage

and they're like, "That was pretty good."

And you're like, "You're..."

You know, they have

no laugh ears, right?

I... I just have

the approach of

never give them a second.

Never give them a second to...

It's like someone's off balance.

That's the best time

to hit someone, right?

They're like,

that's kind of... Oh!

We all have friends where you

sit there and you talk to them

and you know they're just thinking

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