Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day Page #2

night on Shaftesbury Avenue.

With who?

- Who with?

A man.

- Producer?

Mmm.

- Spivvy fellow?

Mmm.

- Nasty side-parting?

Mmm.

I knew it!

Danny ruddy Greenwood,

dash it all. On the poach.

Well, we'll see

about that.

Oh, Phil, you can't think that

Charlotte Warren is right for Hortensia?

Not with that

damp little nose.

Jacket?

- Behind you.

A quick egg

and I'm off.

I regret

we're out of eggs.

You know this?

- I'm afraid I do.

Bacon?

- So sorry, no.

Sausage?

- If only.

Smoked haddock fillets?

- Definitely not.

Toast.

I saw the baker's girl

deliver a loaf yesterday.

Allow me.

Guinevere, you've got to get him

out of here. We're on a deadline.

Toast is only

two minutes.

I realize it is not

my place, but

isn't it possible simply not to

answer the door to this Nick fellow?

Oh, I can't do that.

- Why?

It's his flat.

- Oh.

Jeepers, he's early!

Toast!

Marvelous.

Tie?

Any tea on the go,

perchance?

Sweets,

Danny Greenwood

is at this very second,

sending flowers around to

Charlotte's little warren.

You think so?

That does seem to be the

producer's modus operandi.

It does, doesn't it?

You know the business, what?

Not that you're in the least bit

interested in Charlotte Warren.

No. No. Darling, you're the

one for me. You know that.

And I don't just

mean on the stage.

I say.

What?

- Delysia?

Clean it up.

- Delysia.

I can't go yet. I have

something important to say.

Just... Right now?

Delysia...

- Yes, my sweets?

I love you.

Fiddlesticks,

working relationships.

You and me.

How about it, old girl?

Don't let any rabbits

under your fence.

Bye.

Delysia?

Lift up the spout?

I rather think so, yes.

Delysia? Is that you?

He saw the gown,

damn it.

I believe we

have made it.

You're a bona fide

genius, Guinevere!

Miss Lafosse,

it has been a most exciting, one might

say exhilarating experience, meeting you,

though I can't help feeling one

fraught with moral complexity.

But now that the crisis has been

averted, I simply must take my leave.

What? Oh, you can't go. Please

don't go. The crisis is ongoing.

Goodness.

Guinevere...

Miss Pettigrew...

I don't know what I'd do

if you went. I beg you.

It's Nick.

I need saving.

- Saving?

Mmm-hmm. Have you ever been

hypnotized by a snake, Guinevere?

I don't believe so, no.

Well, it's what they do

to small furry animals.

The snake fixes the animal with

its eyes, so it has no will.

It stays when it

should be running.

It wants to stay,

even if it means death.

And I am that

small furry animal.

And Nick Calderelli, coming up the

stairs this very minute, is that snake.

When he's here, I just... I can't

resist him. And he's bad for me.

So bad. And when I waver,

and I will waver,

I need you

to be strong for me.

Please. Stay.

I can see I have no choice.

You're clearly in danger.

Oh, thank you!

But I'm afraid it is you

who must be strong.

You're right. I must.

The time has come

to break it off.

And with you beside me,

I feel strong,

confident, firm.

There is something so sensual about fur

next to the skin, don't you think? Mmm!

Miss Lafosse,

you're slipping already.

Strong, confident, firm.

I know! But I can't help it.

But I must.

Nick!

I feel like I've just climbed bloody

Everest. The lift's on the blink.

Darling.

It's you!

That wasn't you, was it?

- Me?

In the lift?

- The lift?

Lift? Oh, you mean elevator.

- That's exactly what I...

I didn't know

you had company.

But, Nick, I get so

lonely when you're away.

This is...

Pettigrew.

Guinevere Pettigrew.

A pleasure, Miss

Pettigrew, I'm sure.

And you are,

what, a friend?

I am Miss Lafosse's new

governess... Social secretary.

Social secretary.

Really?

Isn't it a little early

for camouflage?

I beg your pardon?

I haven't had

the opportunity...

It's nice to meet you,

Miss Pettigrew,

but D and I haven't seen

each other for three weeks.

Got a lot of

catching up to do.

So if you

wouldn't mind.

But of course.

Good day.

But, Nick, darling!

- What?

Well, I've got a fashion show

to get to. Haven't I, Guinevere?

Fashion show be damned. Who

needs clothes, eh, gorgeous?

Damned or not, I'm afraid Miss

Lafosse has accepted the invitation.

Well, cancel.

Come on, darling.

Close the door

on your way out.

I'm sure that we can schedule

something for later in the week.

I beg your pardon?

I think that Miss

Lafosse has an hour

Wednesday at 9:
30.

Shall I pencil it in?

No. I'm penciling now.

Nick, darling, I'm afraid

that Guinevere's right.

I'm terribly busy

this morning.

Oh.

You haven't...

You haven't had any

other guests, have you?

No, darling.

Just us girls together.

I thought I saw Phil

Goldman's car outside.

Phil?

- Goldman.

Do we know him?

Andy Goldman's

idiot boy.

Pouring Daddy's millions away at the

Ambassador on some stupid musical.

Pile on the Piffle.

- Pepper.

Pepper?

- I'm told.

Since when did girls together

smoke cigars? Hmm? Answer me that.

If I want to smoke cigars,

I'll damned well smoke cigars,

thank you very much.

And to hell with your opinion.

What, they're yours?

You betcha, baby.

Oh!

And you thought

that I...

What?

- Nick...

You, of all people?

How could you?

I'm wounded,

Nicholas, I am wounded.

Darling, sweetheart.

Please forgive me.

It's been a long night. I'm...

No.

- I'm sorry.

No. It's...

It's no good.

All right,

I forgive you!

Fashion show.

Come again?

Fashion show.

Fashion...

Fashion show is right.

And that will be your punishment, man

of little faith. You will have to wait.

What? So I'm being thrown out

of my own flat, am I?

I'm sorry, darling.

Very well.

Tonight then.

At the club.

Miss Pettigrew.

Good day.

Tonight is booked.

You were magnificent!

Are you all right?

I have never sworn

before in my life.

Not even in my mind.

Well, I didn't hear you swear.

- Yes, I did.

I said damned and hell.

And I meant them.

Oh, that's not swearing.

They came out of the

sinful category an age ago.

Desperation.

That's what it's come to.

A little desperation and life can

make of us whatever it chooses.

In my case, a smoking, swearing accomplice

to misdeeds in a den of iniquity.

No! Really?

Oh, you mean here.

But I was the desperate one.

I'm always desperate.

Think of what would have

happened if you hadn't been here.

I shudder to think what

goes on when I'm not here.

Morals are very important

to me, Miss Lafosse.

I am the daughter

of a clergyman.

Poor you.

No. It was a perfectly

good upbringing, thank you.

But I am beginning to think

perhaps a little sheltered.

But it's not

always like this.

Occasionally

it's not like this.

All right, it's always like

this. Is that so very awful?

Please don't go.

You just can't go.

This is the most important

day in my whole life.

I'll phone up that Holt lady right

now and I'll double your salary.

Oh, no, no, no! Thank you.

That won't be necessary.

I don't even know

what a social secretary does.

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