Miss Sloane Page #6

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24.

ELIZABETH (INTO PHONE)

Jane, hi -- I know what time it is,

just listen. I had a thought... So,

if Socrates never wrote anything, how

is it that anyone has ever heard of

him?

(beat)

Yes, I’m fine. Look, we need to

meet... No, as in, now.

INT. COLE, KRAVITZ AND WATERMAN - STRATEGY ROOM - DAY - PAST

The morning meeting in full swing. Elizabeth quizzes her young

charge, Jane:

ELIZABETH:

They’re staying at the Lantana?

JANE:

Yes.

ELIZABETH:

That’s the one on the beach?

JANE:

Yes!

ELIZABETH:

OK, make the bookings. Cover it out

of the pooled account.

New fish Franklin is within earshot.

FRANKLIN:

Is that OK? Technically, I mean?

ELIZABETH:

It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.

FRANKLIN:

It’s just - the Kenyan government are

paying for this, right? That’s how we

get around the gift ban. The pooled

account’s, well... Pooled. There’s

money in there from the F&B

Association, Wal-Mart, anyone with an

interest in selling anything with

palm oil in it.

(off their surprise)

I majored in Finance, I go over

accounts when I want to look busy-

ELIZABETH:

So you’ll know the Kenyans’

contribution to that account is big

enough to cover Senator Davis’

expenses ten times over and have

change for a small Caribbean island.

Do I look unduly concerned?

FRANKLIN:

OK.

Connors steams in, wolfing down a chocolate muffin.

25.

CONNORS:

George told me what happened with the

Gun Lobby, are you retarded?

ELIZABETH:

No, but coming from someone who just

walked in an hour late, looking like

he pulled his face out of a cow pie,

that’s mildly amusing.

CONNORS:

That wasn’t funny and I don’t get it.

ELIZABETH:

Pray tell, why are you eating a

chocolate cake for breakfast? Have

you no shame?

CONNORS:

It’s a muffin, you never ate a muffin

for breakfast?

ELIZABETH:

A muffin, let me see... Eggs, flour,

sugar, cocoa powder, milk, chocolate.

Sounds exactly like a cake, but of

course no civilized person could ever

eat chocolate cake for breakfast. So

some bright spark in marketing

divvied up yesterday’s leftovers, re-

branded them as ‘muffins’ and started

hawking them as breakfast food.

CONNORS:

You’ve lost your mind-

ELIZABETH:

Franklin, are you getting this?

‘Cause I’m really talking to you.

FRANKLIN:

Huh?

ELIZABETH:

Shmallow Cakes aren’t really cakes.

They’re marshmallow paste sandwiched

between two biscuits covered in

chocolate. America’s fourth favorite

snack is 80% graham cracker. And

while our ever-rational tax code

deems cakes luxury items and hits

them harder, biscuits are obviously

necessities, and exempt. Are you

getting this?

FRANKLIN:

What?

ELIZABETH:

Have Shmallow Cakes re-designated as

biscuits, argue the ‘cake’ in the

name is merely marketing puff.

(MORE)

26.

ELIZABETH (CONT'D)

You’ll need evidence in court, so

have a team of scientists chemically

analyze their composition and opine

they are in fact 80% biscuit and zero

percent cake. That’s how you win.

FRANKLIN:

You knew that all along?

ELIZABETH:

You’d have got there eventually.

FRANKLIN:

Then why are you telling me this?

ELIZABETH:

In case you’re not coming with me.

CONNORS:

What the hell’s going on?

ELIZABETH:

Everybody, listen up! As you may have

heard, I took a meeting with the Gun

Lobby a week ago, and advised them to

support the Heaton-Harris Amendment.

(deep breath)

Effective immediately, I’ve decided

to leave Cole, Kravitz and Waterman

and take up station as a consultant

for the Brady Campaign at Peterson

Wyatt.

Muted GASPS. Raised eyebrows. Nobody saw this coming.

ELIZABETH (CONT’D)

In negotiating terms, I secured

places on my team for everyone in

this room with no change to your

current rates of compensation. Now

who’s with me on this? Pat?

CONNORS:

I just walked in an hour late ‘cause

I’ve been assuring the Gun Lobby that

we’re the right firm to lead the

fight against Heaton-Harris. We just

got the green f***ing light.

ELIZABETH:

Are you saying I should put you down

as a maybe?

CONNORS:

You can’t possibly win this.

ELIZABETH:

Who’s with me?

Silence. Nobody dares make the first move... Until:

ROSS:

I’m with you.

Ross, the statistician, goes and stands behind Elizabeth.

27.

CONNORS:

Ross, come on, I need you.

ROSS:

She needs me more.

Franklin follows suit.

FRANKLIN:

Guns frighten me.

CONNORS:

The f*** is this? Jerry Maguire?!

ALEX:

You’ve seen Jerry Maguire? That’s not

gay at all.

CONNORS:

It’s because I’m not gay that I’ve

seen Jerry Maguire, you fag prick.

MURMURS. Lauren and Alex defect to Elizabeth’s side.

ELIZABETH:

So, Sloane et. al. versus Connors,

and who else? Ramirez. How many Tec9s

do you own again?

LOBBYIST # 3 (RAMIREZ)

Enough to defend my property. Plus

two more to piss off lefties.

ELIZABETH:

Travis, Wickham and Moore, the God-

squad, the Bible says thou shalt not

kill, yet you openly endorse

instruments of death.

LOBBYST # 4 (TRAVIS)

For some silly reason I thought you

hated government interference in

people’s lives.

ELIZABETH:

Silly indeed. I hate unnecessary

interference; those bits of

interference which prohibit private

citizens from purchasing anti-tank

ordnance, or weapons-grade plutonium,

I can live with.

She turns to Jane, who sits motionless, staring into space.

ELIZABETH:

Jane...

(no response)

Jane?

JANE:

I don’t know where I stand on this.

ELIZABETH:

I do, you stand with me.

28.

CONNORS:

Seriously kid, go. I couldn’t care

less.

JANE:

Actually... The Gun Lobby will need

someone to tally their vote count in

Ross’ absence... I’ll stay.

ELIZABETH:

Jane!

JANE:

You were right before. I’m at one of

the best firms in the city. People

come and go. I won’t let that affect

my career here. I’ll miss you, but

the 3am wake-up calls? Not so much.

CONNORS:

No sh*t, I take it back. Welcome

aboard.

ELIZABETH:

(wounded)

Fine. And for what it’s worth, you’ve

some way to go until your vote counts

are anywhere near as accurate as

Ross’.

(snaps to Ross, who beams)

Don’t let it go to your head.

(his smile dies; to all)

I’m off to say my goodbyes to the

bean-counters. Ordinarily, I’d say

good luck, but-

CONNORS:

You’re going down harder than Bin

Laden.

ELIZABETH:

(exiting)

Your ass is mine, punk.

INT. CONGRESSIONAL HEARING ROOM - DAY - PRESENT

Back in the hearing, Elizabeth is stone-faced, but fidgets

slightly. The wall of granite slowly being chipped away.

We now recognize some of the faces in the public gallery:

George Dupont, Connors, Rodolfo Schmidt.

Congressman Sperling is doddery and sanctimonious as usual.

CONGRESSMAN SPERLING

We’ll come back to the African

Republic of Kenya later, but...

(sickly pious)

You see, what troubles me is the

amount of influence you had... We’ve

seen communications from senior

figures in Washington; it’s like you

had this aura, nobody dared get in

your way.

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