Miss Tanakpur Hazir Ho

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Summons for Miss Tanakpur!

Summons for Miss Tanakpur!

Summons for Miss Tanakpur!

Summons for Miss Tanakpur!

- Summons for Miss Tanakpur!

- Blessed be the land...

- where animals are respected

more than humans.

Our Gods and Goddesses are

incomplete without their animals.

For example,

Lord Krishna without the cow...

and Lord Yama without the bull.

Let's hear some cheers!

- And now without any further delay...

...l now welcome the Animal

Husbandry Minister...

...the Honourable Mr. Jhakar!

Let's clap for him!

Clap!

Now I'd like to welcome,

our Pradhanji (Village Chief)...

Mr. Sualal Gandaas!

Clap for him!

And the man who owns

315 acres and 21 wells...

...Mr. Bheem Singh Bagdhi.!

Clap for him!

- In a short while we'll be

starting the main event.

- The animal fashion show with

contestants from 12 villages!

Bheema, have you lost your hearing'?

Where's Maya'?

She was sitting right here...

Then where did she disappear?

Were you sleeping?

Don't take otherwise...

could you ask her

where Maya's gone?

Were you sleeping?

She just left with Laxmi.

How can she just leave?

How can it be possible?

And how did you people let her go'?

Our buffalo is about to

walk the ramp and she's gone!

Where are we going?

The show was about to start.

I'm getting you something to eat.

- This has the best elastic.

Can you give me the

red one in my size?

Give her the golf ball size.

- Here it is.

- How much is it for'?

- 50 Rupees.

The black one, please.

A football size one for her.

Arjun, l've finished all the food and you

are still figuring out measurements!

Indicate the size with your hands.

- Here you go.

- How much is it for'?

- 40 Rupees.

- Stop thinking so much, let's go!

- Let's go.

- Come on.

What'?

I...

Give me one in red...

this big...no...

...ok... this small.

Look, decide whether the size is as

small as a rose or as large as a lotus...

- or bring her here.

- I'm trying to tell you.

The younger lady who was here...

...and the lady who came

for the black one...

her size is midway.

The tennis ball size for him!

Look over there!

- What'?

- There...the...balloons.

Someone's husband

is looking for someone!

Oh God!

Why did you sneak out from the event'?

Don't take otherwise.

You couldn't wait for some

candy floss, Laxmi? Tell me'?

- No uncle...

- Shut up!

I had some personal work.

Do you have to ask me

in front of all these people?

Why'?

You think I'm scared of anyone?

You are my wife, answer me!

We can discuss this at home.

Why are you creating a scene?

I'm asking you right here, right now!

What was so urgent?

This was urgent!

Don't take otherwise.

Should I try it on in public too'?

Let's go.

Now what'?

Nothing, let's get back to the show.

(Miracle healer for all

sexual problems only 10 rupees)

Welcome, come sit down.

Where has Sualal gone off to now'?

Without even looking at your face

l've figured out your problem.

When you come to the pitch...

you're out even

before the game begins!

Have a teaspoon of

this potion every day.

And have a tea spoon of this powder...

...with milk on an empty

stomach every morning.

And this is...

my secret family oil.

- Massage with this oil for a month...

down there.

It will work right'?

Don't worry,

just have the medicine and...

...let your kite fly high.

And can you tell me...

...don't take otherwise.

I want to understand...

YeS,?

...do all these big bodybuilders...

...in all these photos...

have a sexual

problem just like me'?

Do they need special

help to get it up'?

The bigger the man...

...the bigger the sexual problem.

Ladies and gentlemen...

- Ladies and Gentlemen,

I present before you, Number 3!

- Look at her strut.

- Doesn't she just blow your mind'?

This is Number 3!

- Ladies and Gentlemen,

Who is this pretty girl at the fair?

She is Number 10.

Look at her amazing walk!

The apple of Sualal's eye!

The bulls go wild for her!

There goes our beauty!

- God save her from the evil eye!

Goddess...

drink something, accept their offering.

- Please drink 0 Goddess!

- At least eat something.

- Yes eat Goddess! Hello?

Hello?

- Here She isn't eating and you are

worried about your girlfriend.

Just hang up now!

Please drink...

At least bless the drink

for your followers.

Here...

We are truly blessed that...

...the Mother of Wealth and Prosperity

has descended to Tanakpur.

Praise Goddess Kali!

Jai ho!

She hasn't slept

or eaten since 9 days.

- Shastri, this is truly a miracle!

- Great miracle!

For 9 days She hasn't

eaten or drunk anything...

Not a grain of food

or a drop of water...

Then She musn't be taking a dump too!

What did you say'?

I think you should get

this Goddess checked by a doctor!

Aren't you Randhawa's son'?

Is this the way to speak about Her'?

Isn't that Sweety?

Does she look like Sweety to you'?

My brothers and sisters! Look at the

way he is talking about our Mother!

They want to bring the

doctor to the Goddess' temple!

You wear glasses, you must be

educated, who is your favourite God'?

Lord Shankar.

Has anyone ever seen

Lord Shankar's faeces?

Never! How can you

even think of such things!

Look Goddess!

- Hell has come to Earth!

People won't believe in

God until they see their taeces!

People like these should

be thrown out of society!

Beat them up!

- The results of the

fashion show are in!

- Without wasting any more time

I am going to announce them!

- The runner- up is...

- Village Chandra's Number 4!

Oh good, we still stand a chance.

- Congratulations to

Mr. Madhanlal Sodhi!

And now the winner.

- The winner is...

Say it...

heartiest congratulations to...

...Tanakpur's Mr. Sualal!

Cheers for Miss Tanakpur!

Cheers for Miss Tanakpur!

Pradhanji...

What is it'?

Move a bit to your left.

We piss on the same wall every day.

Why are you so worried about the wall?

I'm not worried about the wall.

It says "First child, not now"

written on the wall that worries me.

Why'?

This must be the last thing you think

of when you go to sleep at night.

When will I become an uncle?

- I also want to be an uncle.

- Listen to me.

Yes?

I'm the head of this village...

and if I don't

follow government orders...

what will the

villagers think of me'?

What will they...

Listen to what I'm saying,

Lord Ram was born...

only after King

Dashrath's hair turned white.

That's when he became Emperor Ram.

Amazing.

You are such a great thinker!

How has nobody else realized this yet'?

Brilliant! What a thought!

Now you must wait for all your hair

to turn white.

There isn't any harm in waiting...

...for that great son.

Now switch on your cell

phone light to drop me home.

I will light up the entire world,

when you have that great son.

My father got me married off thinking

I would get respect and honour...

also because I was considered bad

luck and nobody wanted to marry me.

My family chose to ignore how old

Sualal was once they saw the money.

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