Missed Connections Page #2

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- are you wearing the shirt?

- Yes.

You're lying.

Marc, just wear the shirt,

and some cologne, and be nice.

Yeah, ok.

Thank you, I texted her address to you,

she'll be waiting outside her apartment.

That doesn't sound desperate.

Look, I know you hate this.

But trust me. I have

a good feeling about this.

You have too many

good feelings about me.

Thank you, and wear the shirt.

Yeah, I will.

No Daddy.

You sure? I could have your

brothers on a plane tonight.

And they can't prove anything

if they don't find the body?

No.

Put him in a wheel chair?

No one is flying out here.

What, you don't miss your brothers?

You don't need to fix it.

I know.

He may have been joking, I don't know.

I was just hoping to be done

with moving by now.

He's still moving in?

Jessie you've been out there

six months now.

I think it's time you came home.

There is this young guy at the firm.

No I'd rather die.

He was a wrestler in college

and he has great hair.

Please don't check out

any more guys for me.

I'm fine and Trent is sweet

and handsome and thoughtful, sometimes.

But does he make you happy?

Yes.

How much of that ice cream

have you been eating?

Are you trying to make me cry?

No, just trying to give you

a little perspective.

I just don't understand him.

Maybe you don't know each other

well enough to move in together.

Right, I don't know him.

I'm glad you realize that.

If he moved in now

I would just resent him.

Absolutely, it's unhealthy.

We're not on the same page anymore,

maybe we never were.

That's it, he can't move in,

until I cheat on him.

Yeah, wait, what, NO!

And this way

I'll be able to help him stop.

Dad you're a genius.

This is so not my idea.

I'd better hurry.

Thank you Daddy.

Wait, what, no.

Wait, wait.

Are you weird?

What?

Like is there something wrong with you?

Cause I'd like to know now

before we continue.

Uh. I don't know,

sometimes I like to pretend

I'm from France.

That's actually kind of cool.

I have a strict no pets policy.

Ok?

So... This is my car.

You want me to go with you?

Unless you were waiting

for someone else.

What's the green ox?

Uh, a pub, or a bookstore.

Maybe a superhero.

I haven't decided.

Cool.

Probably a place where...

Maxine Macy will make her final stand.

Maxine, now is she

the gypsy grad student,

or the travel blog assassin?

She hasn't decided yet.

Both good choices.

By the way, how come

whenever she ends up

someplace, it's with sexy results?

Yeah, these are a little half baked,

so try not to look at them.

So uh, what do you feel up for tonight?

Seriously? You have no plans?

I know as much about you,

as I do about Bahrain.

Do I get options?

Sure, Option 1, rob a bank.

Option 2, kidnap the President.

Option 3, escape to Nova Scotia.

They all sound good.

Oo, I wonder if there

will be sexy results?

Look, this may sound

like a joke to you,

but it's what I think about.

Maybe you should just

not talk about it, ok.

Ok.

I'll think of some place to go,

we'll eat, ask the same

boring date questions

and pretend to care.

And you can go home

and write in your journal,

and tell all your friends

about how cheesy I am.

Sound good?

Wait, just wait.

This is a mistake.

Wait, just wait.

Ok I'm sorry,

I just got pushed into this.

I don't need an excuse

about why you're a jerk,

you're off the hook.

I don't want to be off the hook.

Just go around.

You don't want to do this

and neither do I.

That's not true.

You've known me for like two seconds.

Why did you even pick me up tonight.

I don't know.

I really don't.

I got to your house and

I was going to back out,

and I saw you standing there

and I thought that...

I might be missing out on

something great if I passed.

I still feel that way.

Please don't give up on me yet.

Ok, so what now?

Uh, what do you like?

Is this your first date.

Come on, give me a life line here.

You've already proven

that I'm bad at this.

Just do whatever you were

going to do if I wasn't here.

Really?

Yeah, I wanna see what you like to do.

Just be along for the ride, you know.

Best way to get to know you.

I just think it's fair to warn you.

Things could get dangerous.

Do you like sandwiches?

Julia is going to kill you.

Yeah, I know.

Hi, how's he doing?

Not very well.

What? I'm doing just fine.

Will you get the Lady a grilled caprese.

And make me whatever

you made me this morning.

And a number five with extra cheese

and sauted mushrooms,

you know how he likes it.

So I'm not doing well, huh?

Yeah, I deserve that.

Let me regroup in my office.

Don't take too long,

I might run away with George.

Yeah, and then Julia

would really be mad at me.

Oh... Oh....

Um, If you're going to make that noise,

you might want to use the stall.

I just can't.

Please don't ask me to help you.

I should have told her, but

instead I helped her pack.

Why, why did I do that?

I'm filling box with shoes,

and then I'm like,

you should tell her.

And then she's showing me

these new curtains

and there's something

in my head screaming,

"You've got to tell her,

and then we're taking

a snuggle break."

And then she turns

and then she looks at me

and it's like a giant show choir

is singing this huge tell her song.

Do you know what I said?

I really don't.

I said, hi...

Who says that?

A lot of people.

Maybe I should just move in with her.

No! I can't.

Please, please, please help me.

Have you ever had to choose

between two girls?

Not really,

I'm on a blind date right now,

and it's all I can do

to keep her from going home.

But still if you had a girl,

who wanted you to move in,

who's fun and creative

and super affectionate.

Or this other girl, who wasn't as fun,

but is hotter and cleans,

and is smart and stuff.

I'd pick the one

who makes you work more.

What, why?

Because she trusts you to help her,

and if you're willing to work harder,

it means you care more about her.

But what if the easy one

wrote a song about you?

That would complicate things,

but I still know whom I'd choose.

What if I already lost her?

Do something extra, make

her dinner, buy her flowers.

I've never made her dessert.

There you go.

Dessert and flowers.

Oh, well thanks for the advice.

And I hope your date goes well.

And you have a happy breakup.

It's one of Julia's favorites too.

I'm sorry she's not here.

She would love to see you.

I would love to meet her.

What?

Is it ready?

Uh...

Sure is.

What were you...

Oh it's right here sir.

Would you like a free cookie?

No I shouldn't.

I have a surprise planned later.

Oh yeah, hey, did you ever get

that girl thing figured out?

Yes I did, I really wish

I could have them both.

But then I wouldn't enjoy either.

I guess women are a lot

like sandwiches that way.

Uh, I've never really

thought about it like that.

Oh come on, you work

at a sandwich place.

You know, I think I will

take you up on that free cookie

later.

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