Missed Connections Page #4

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I'm not giving you

your problem medicine.

You're bluffing.

Come on Gary,

we both know that's not true.

No!

So good.

Come on!

You, I want to see you

in the kitchen now!

Pastrami, Marc? Really?

Look, before you lecture me,

I just want to say, I'd do it again.

I would.

I feel sorry for the guy.

I know.

Mary, he's all cooped up in here,

and forced to eat these liquid foods,

have you even tasted them?

Just thinking about having to

eat toothpaste flavored shakes,

makes me want to take up smoking,

so I can shave a few years off

of my own miserable ending.

So yes, I brought him a sandwich

because he would do it for me.

So you can't....

I don't think that

you know how to punish people.

I'm not mad.

I know you care about him,

and I think him having a bite

of a sandwich every now

and then is just fine.

I have to be mad

so you won't do it all the time.

Ok.

Besides how would I punish you?

Ban you from ever coming over?

We wouldn't want that.

I don't think Gary would approve.

He doesn't need to know.

I don't think I'm ready for this.

I'll go slow, just like

Diane in your book.

This is really not a good idea.

Tell me, what do you think

about when your writing?

Um... I think about... um...

I um.... I... my... my mother.

Yes, yes my mother and how

she always used to take me to church.

Oh mom, you're such

a big influence on my writing.

I um... I think we should pray.

Don't you?

Nice try.

That's right, Mary, let him have it.

If I'm lucky,

she'll take it all out on him.

He makes a surprisingly

believable George Washington.

Is this him in a pant suit?

Well that's when he was supposed

to be Janet Reno.

Wow, you really know

how to collect on a bet.

You better believe it.

I'm really lucky he makes

such a lousy thief.

Yeah, other than that he

seems like a great grandson.

What?

Oh, Marc isn't my grandson.

Almost was, but then decided not to be.

Here he is trying to be me,

as a super hero.

He even wrote a short story about it.

"The adventures of Captain Prune,

the most regular guy in the world."

How does that work?

Well it's not so much a super power

as the process of...

Oo, not that.

I mean how do you decide

to be a grandson?

Well, I better let him explain that one.

I'm in enough trouble as it is.

Yum, these nuts are pretty good.

They were better when they

still had chocolate on them.

Ugh..

Come on, lets go.

Wait! You better be here tomorrow.

Sure thing.

Sorry for dragging you here.

I actually had a lot of fun.

Well, I'm glad you did.

I've still got a shaving

to look forward to tomorrow.

And maybe some other awkward stuff.

You sure?

You didn't! Yes!

You owe me one.

So what's our next adventure,

Captain Prune?

I think we still have time

to make the best show in town.

Didn't we just escape it?

Go. Go Go.

Wait! Wait!

Get back here you cheater.

So...

Is this Shakespeare in the park?

Not exactly.

Here?

Best show in town?

Are you hungry?

You have to be joking.

I never joke about theater.

Sit down, the show is about to start.

What are we supposed to see?

Um...

Yum...

I know George is amazing, right?

Watch just there.

Are your invisible friends

about to perform?

That bench any minute.

You're a voyeur.

Shh... I prefer the term

people watcher.

How did you know that would happen?

He does it every week.

I got close one time,

and he addresses it,

"to the beautiful woman on the bench"

I come to see how the story will end.

This is stupid.

Just go talk to her.

It doesn't have to be tonight.

Maybe it's good that they're

a Missed Connection.

A what?

It's this thing in the newspaper,

where people try to reconnect.

They don't need a newspaper

they're right there.

And they'll get together

on their own terms.

Yeah, meanwhile

and probably wondering

if he'll ever move in.

What?

Nothing.

I'm not waiting.

What are you doing?

Excuse miss, hello.

Hi. Excuse miss, hello.

I believe you have my note.

Um... Your note?

Wi, I was supposed to be here,

but you were, and that is my note.

Are you sure, I've been getting

these notes for weeks, so...

They are all mine.

Can I have my notes?

Stop!

What are you doing?

I can't stand by any longer,

those notes are meant for you.

They are?

Yes!

I am in love with you.

What?

Yes, and now I must have you.

Come here you. I love you.

Oh, thank goodness.

No!

You are ruining everything.

What? No.

You're trying to steal her from me.

You poked the wrong bear.

What are you doing?

You poked the wrong bear.

What are you doing?

Why would you do that?

Because he wrote the letters.

Is that true?

Um....This looks like

a private moment, excuse.

That was quite

the acting job there Pachino.

As was your mademoiselle.

As was your mademoiselle.

I hope they're grateful.

Maybe he's not what she was expecting.

Seems like he was.

Yeah.

You gave me my ending.

Now you double owe me.

Really. Cause my face

says that we're even.

Will that make it into your story?

Can we talk about something else?

Ok.

Why did you decide not

to be Gary's grandson?

Unbelievable.

Please?

I lied and stole for you.

And I never asked you to do either.

Promise you won't feel sorry for me?

Got it, only laugh.

Close enough.

It was the summer after

my senior year of college.

I'd been writing this story

since the first semester.

This is going to be

about a girl, isn't it?

- Wait and see.

- But it is.

Can I finish?

Well. My sister stole a copy

of my manuscript,

she mailed it to a publisher,

and they loved it.

They offered me

a $20,000 dollar advance.

I'd never had that much money before.

Thoughts of jet skies and exotic pets

were swimming through my head,

but I already knew what I wanted.

The girl who inspired the story,

Wren Milton.

Wren, as in the bird?

Yeah, yeah exactly like the bird.

- I know the rest of this story.

- You don't.

After I got the ring,

I went to see her grandpa.

We were already good friends

and I needed the help

of a master schemer.

We came up with the perfect proposal,

nothing too crazy, just the two of us.

I had written her this song,

and then suddenly,

everyone that we know, was there.

So you went down in flames then?

Is that why you hate your book?

I'm not finished.

Oh come on.

I mean, I'm sure

it was super embarrassing

with all your family there, but please.

It was probably harder

for her to tell you.

She didn't say no.

Are you married?

No.

But she said yes, right?

She said "Sure why not".

What did you do?

I didn't marry her.

Admit it.

You're feeling sorry for me.

No way, you dodged a bullet.

Really? Cause if felt like

it hit me square in the chest.

I so wanted to marry that girl.

Why didn't you?

Well I couldn't see happily ever after

starting with "Sure".

Wow, you are such as snob.

Yeah, call me picky,

but I'm holding out for the girl

that will say "Hell yes".

Well, may you find

what you're looking for.

She better get here soon,

or she'll miss all the inside jokes.

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