Mister Lonely Page #5

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f***ing show on the earth!

Yeah!

It's going to be the greatest

f***ing show on the earth!

It's going to be the greatest

f***ing show on the earth!

Ladies and gentlemen,

for one night only, we will be presenting

the greatest show on earth,

the greatest show the world has ever seen!

You're gonna have Michael Jackson.

Say hi, Mike.

- Hey, hey, people!

- There you go.

Jimmy Dean will be performing

for one night only.

One night only, people.

We've got Shirley Temple,

little Shirley Temple.

She's four and she's gonna be

staying up late that night!

We've got that little bundle of energy

Sammy Davis Jr!

- Yee-hee!

- Come watch Sammy tear up the boards.

We've got the human pincushion.

- We've got the great disappearing lady.

- What?

This is a talent show

the likes of which

you will never in your life

be privileged to see again. Trust me.

Come out of your houses, people,

don't be shy.

Come and join us,

visit our snack bar, if you will.

Abraham Lincoln invites you to the show.

The greatest show on earth!

Four score and seven years ago

our fathers brought forth

upon this continent

a new nation,

conceived in liberty

and dedicated to the proposition

that all men are created equal.

So, you think that the Stooges

should go on before Madonna?

I just think that's gonna slow

everything down.

The music is better that way.

The Rivaldi leads well.

- Yeah, but it's gonna interrupt the flow.

- No.

We've been through it. It'll be fine.

Yeah, I know, I know, I know, but I'm just

f***ing worried sick about this show.

You've just gotta focus your energies

through your stomach.

The Pope stinks.

The Pope stinks.

The Pope stinks, the Pope stinks.

- The Pope stinks.

- He's right, the Pope stinks.

- I do bathe, I just don't use soap.

- The Pope stinks!

- Ah, the Pope stinks.

- The Pope stinks.

- The Pope stinks...

- I do bathe, I'm just allergic to soap.

The Pope stinks,

the Pope stinks, the Pope stinks...

Just leave me

so that I may remain in peace.

Leave me,

so that I may remain in peace.

Oh, why?

Why?

Why, oh, why, oh, why?

- Baby, don't let me fall asleep.

- Oh, don't worry, baby.

I don't wanna burn.

It's OK. I don't let you burn.

- I love you.

- Mmm, my baby.

Be quiet.

In strict rotation...

Charlie!

Charlie, why did you leave me?

Charlie, l-I-I-I said please,

please don't let me fall asleep.

Charlie, why did you leave me?

Charlie, I'm really burned.

She'll be fine.

Don't worry, it's just a sunburn.

Yeah, but, baby...

Charlie, why did you leave me?

C'est la vie...

I'm sorry, I forgot!

- I'm just a man!

- You forgot?! You forgot?! You forgot?

- Charlie, you shouldn't have left me.

- So sorry.

You shouldn't have left me.

The bastard. He let her burn.

- Why?

- Shh...

Don't worry, don't worry.

Don't worry.

It is going to be OK.

- Mmm, it's going to be...

- Ow.

- It's going to be all right.

- Ow!

- Shh-shh-shh...

- Please stop.

No, no, no, no.

It's going to be OK now.

- Please don't, please...

- It's going to be all right.

Oh!

- Don't worry. I promise.

- Ow. Please stop it, please...

Please... Ow! Please...

Don't worry, it's going to be OK,

it's going to be all right.

Charlie, Charlie...

Oh! Please, you're hurting me, Charlie.

Don't worry, don't worry.

Please... Hey, hey, hey...

I'm sorry, Michael.

Why?

Because I'm so weak.

No, you're not weak.

- Oh, yes, I am.

- No...

You're the reason why I'm here.

You make this place beautiful.

- Michael?

- Hmm?

Does anything ever really change?

Yeah. Yeah, I think so.

No, I mean really change.

No. I don't know.

I keep thinking about the sheep.

You know, and them dying

and getting shot, you know, and I...

Well, it didn't take too long.

They didn't suffer, I'm sure.

Give me your hand, come on.

It doesn't take long to die, I think.

Not as long as it takes to live.

# Hangman, hangman

# Slack your line

# Slack it just a while

# For I see my pappy coming

# Traveling many a mile

# Traveling many a mile

# Papa, Papa

# Has you brought gold

# For to pay this hangman's fee

# Or did you come to see me swinging

# High from this hangman's tree

# High from this hangman's tree #

You think people will come?

Of course they will.

How do you know?

People will come.

They always do.

They will come to see

the greatest show on earth.

I now declare our majestic theater open!

We did it! Oh, my God!

Girl, we did it!

Thy agents, the casting directors,

will be here!

- Charlie!

- It's finally here! Our theater!

Here!

So a man walks into a bar

with his pet monkey.

The monkey necks three beers

and falls asleep in the corner.

Man goes to leave, barman says,

"Don't leave that lyin' there."

He says, "It's not a lion, it's a monkey."

That's right,

Blue Eyes, with a Dixie melody.

And when you croon, don't get smart, see?

Just croon a little tune.

And it better be from the heart of Brooklyn,

or else you get a knuckle sandwich.

Thank you all for coming out tonight

to see our performance,

our grand show spectacular.

We are but humble impersonators,

regular people like you,

and without you, we would be nothing.

Our goal, as always in performing,

is to try and entertain you

and search out the beauty that is life,

the splendor and poetry of it all.

And, like the song says,

"There is heaven,

heaven when we dance together,

you and I cheek to cheek."

Thank you all.

And remember, there's no truer souls

than those souls who impersonate.

For we live through others

in order to keep the spirit of wonder alive.

Thank you, thank you.

God be with you all.

Well, that was only our first night.

More people will come.

It just takes time.

That's show business, folks.

No.

No.

No!

Please...

No!

Please... no.

No...

No...

Please... no.

No...

No...

No... no!

No!

No.

No...

Yeah! Sisters, load the plane.

- Have a safe flight.

- Yes.

Come on, board it, board it, Sister.

You are gonna go to the Vatican.

You're gonna go to the Vatican.

Don't...

Yes, yes, come on, Sisters.

You're going to the Vatican.

We have become legitimate.

This is a legitimate miracle.

We've done miracles here.

We have done miracles, yes, so...

Oh, hey, hey, hey, hey, you kid,

you cannot ride this.

I know you are a hell of a man,

but you're not gonna fly, come on.

Sister Agnes, I want you... I want you to be

the first one to meet the Pope,

but you have to kiss his ring.

Silence! Silencio, jvenes!

So, yes, yes, just humble, but you kiss...

We'll rehearse more.

Yeah, OK, load the plane, Sister.

Ciao, adios.

OK, OK, goodbye, bye-bye.

Yes. Sisters, watch your toes.

It's just unbelievable.

You did it, you did it, yes.

Hallelujah!

- Yes, hallelujah.

- We'll have a nice time with the Pope.

But don't overload the Vatican.

Don't overload the Vatican.

Be humble, because I want to have

a drink with the Pope.

I just want to have a real drink.

You know, he's Bavarian

and he likes the beer.

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