Mistress America Page #12

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TRACY:

(standing up)

It would be the best of capitalism.

What politicians pretend they meanwhen they say “small business.”

BROOKE:

We would resist doing too manypieces in the Times and stuffbecause we’d want it to stayhonest. They would want us toexpand and open another one andmaybe we eventually would but wewouldn’t try to re-create the firstone, it would be a totally newthing. And if I ever had kids theywould walk there after school and

do their homework in a corner

table. They’d grow up around allthese wonderful adults -

TRACY:

Chefs and actors who are waiters -

it would be a big funny family andthey’d never be lonely.

84.

BROOKE:

This could all be something youguys share in - you’d be theirauntie and uncle - part of the lifeand food. And eventually I’d trainsomeone younger than myself to runthe day to day so I could go up toMaine with my family in the summersand have the kids dive for lobsters

and everyone would be so warm andhappy inside knowing that in theirlife they had participated insomething that was only good.

Silence. Tracy is kind of emotional. Everyone applauds.

Karen is sobbing.

TONY:

Wow.

Dylan walks up to Brooke, kissing her on each cheek,

pretending to be speechless.

DYLAN:

(to the group)

You know, I lived in the City for

many years. Before I started at

Goldman, I was teaching at Baruchand I lived in an East Village walk-

up. I was the people people maketelevision shows about.

(to Tracy)

I was quite beautiful.

He takes Brooke’s hand. Mamie-Claire reacts. Takes his

other hand. They are all holding hands.

DYLAN:

This is very f***ing interesting.

BROOKE:

Really?

DYLAN:

(re:
Tracy and Brooke)

So, are you both doing it?

TRACY:

No, but we’re sisters and I’m-

BROOKE:

Tracy is spiritual guidance andwaitress.

85.

TRACY:

(thrilled)

Really? I wasn’t sure you hadheard me those times.

BROOKE:

I hear everything.

DYLAN:

How much do you need?

BROOKE:

It’s 200 total but I calculated we

need forty-two point five onMonday.

TRACY:

For refrigeration.

DYLAN:

Forty-two point five stacks, huh?

TONY:

What are stacks?

KAREN:

A thousand?

MAMIE-CLAIRE

I thought “stacks” meant a hundred.

DYLAN:

I’m pretty sure a stack is athousand.

BROOKE:

I think a dime is a thousand.

(cutting to the chase)

Nevermind, you’d do that?

DYLAN:

I want to help you.

The door bell rings. Karen springs off her stool.

KAREN:

That’s Ted! Bye everyone.

EVERYONE:

Bye.

KAREN:

(to Brooke)

Good luck with your restaurant!

86.

She hurries out.

MAMIE-CLAIRE

Dylan, this is really something forus to talk about privately.

DYLAN:

We need fresh drinks.

He starts for the kitchen. Brooke follows.

KAREN (O.S.)

Umm, Mamie-Claire! Can you comehere please?

MAMIE-CLAIRE

Can it wait, Karen?

KAREN (O.S.)

No!

Mamie-Claire hesitates, torn between keeping and eye of Dylanand going to Karen, and then runs to Karen.

CUT TO:
Harold is at the door. Karen stands there, confused.

KAREN:

It’s not Ted.

MAMIE-CLAIRE

Harold-

HAROLD:

I am calling the cops. You were

warned.

DYLAN (O.S.)

Could the weed be in the garagefreezer?

MAMIE-CLAIRE

I don’t know!

DYLAN (O.S.)

Can you check?

MAMIE-CLAIRE

(yelling)

I’m blowing Harold so he doesn’tcall the cops. JK. I’m probablyjust going to have to go look athis boat collection.

87.

HAROLD:

(stepping inside)

I can’t remember the last time I

was over here.

MAMIE-CLAIRE

I don’t think you’ve ever been overhere, Harold.

HAROLD:

No, when you first moved here, Icame for a stilted barbecue.

MAMIE-CLAIRE

That’s when we made an effort.

HAROLD:

Well, invite me in now. I want a

house tour.

LIVING ROOM:

Tony is working on the apple bong with his all-purpose tool,

Tracy watches him.

TRACY:

You are such a Swiss Army knifekind of guy.

TONY:

I have to be a better loser. I

really love Nicolette.

TRACY:

She’s angry about the chess game?

TONY:

Yeah, I think so. I’m mostly intouch with my feminine side butthen I guess not though because Idon’t understand her right now.

TRACY:

Did you... did you want to be withme ever?

TONY:

I don’t want to get into this...

TRACY:

No, I’m not going to kiss you.

Just a question.

Tony considers:

88.

TONY:

Yeah, I liked you, but I loveNicolette and honestly... I justnever saw you that way.

TRACY:

Why?

TONY:

You seemed... I need someone I can

love, not keep up with.

TRACY:

(nodding)

Sometimes I really think I’m justsmarter and better than everyoneelse. Not necessarily with math orscience or whether something iseast or west but pretty much witheverything else. And if I could

just figure out my look I’d be themost beautiful woman in the world

too.

TONY:

Sometimes I think I’m a genius andI wish I could just fast-forward mylife to the part where everyoneknows it.

Tony holds up the completed apple bong. It’s beautiful.

KITCHEN:

Brooke has followed Dylan into the kitchen, he’s fixing adrink.

DYLAN:

I have to say, I’m impressedBrooke. It takes a lot of moxie to

start a restaurant.

BROOKE:

Thanks.

DYLAN:

You’re doing it, babe. You’re out

there, doing something besidesamassing and hoarding money.

BROOKE:

If I could figure out how to amassand hoard money, I’d do it.

89.

DYLAN:

You could have married me or a

dozen other guys but you wanted tobe your own person.

BROOKE:

Yeah, no, I’m over that now.

Dylan laughs. He moves toward her. She moves in.

DYLAN:

You’re funny because you don’t knowyou’re funny.

BROOKE:

I know I’m funny. There’s nothingI don’t know about myself. That’s

why I can’t do therapy.

They’re close now. He pushes a strand out of her face andbehind her ear. Brooke is going with it.

DYLAN:

MC and I see a woman in New Haven.

BROOKE:

Oh...you guys see a therapist?

Like a tune up?

DYLAN:

More like a death watch. She’s

totally on my side. She basicallythinks Mamie-Claire is holding meback and I should just leave her.

BROOKE:

Your couple’s therapist said that?

DYLAN:

In so many words. Yeah, we’redone.

BROOKE:

(sadly)

Mamie-Claire said you were tryingto have kids.

DYLAN:

We’ve talked about it but we’ve

also talked about breaking up.

BROOKE:

Oh no, I’m sorry-

90.

DYLAN:

No, it’s liberating. I feel great.

BROOKE:

(freaked out)

Yay...

DYLAN:

I miss New York, man. I miss you.

I look you up periodically on theinternet. You look hot as hell in

those party pictures.

Brooke takes a step back.

BROOKE:

Oh...do I? Which party? Sometimes

I look like I have fat arms.

He takes another step forward.

DYLAN:

I like fat arms. I’m going to help

you.

BROOKE:

(tearful)

Thank you.

She hugs him. He holds the hug too long. She has to yankherself free.

DYLAN:

Here’s what I’m going to do for

you. We’ll take my forty-threestacks or dimes and pay back theother investors, whatever they’rein for thus far. You got a spacealready? A lease?

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