Mommie Dearest

1

[Alarm buzzing]

[Knock on door]

Yes?

We're ready for you, Miss Crawford.

Let's go.

And on our left, just up the hill,

the palatial home of movie queen Joan Crawford,

whose new movie, Ice Follies 1939...

[Scrubbing]

Excuse me.

Helga's finished in the living room, Miss Crawford.

Oh, good.

Carol Ann, help me with this.

Ohh.

Helga...

When you Polish the floor, you have to move the tree.

If you can't do something right, don't do it at all.

I'm sorry, Miss Crawford.

Give me the soap.

You see, Carol Ann,

you have to stay on top of

things every single minute.

O.K.

[Doorbell chimes]

Carol Ann, will you get that?

Yes, Miss Crawford.

Helga, I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at the dirt.

Come on. Yes, ma'am.

Hello, Carol Ann.

Oh, Mr. Savitt. Come in.

Greg, you're early.

Only an hour and a half.

Well, take your shoes off.

I've just washed that floor.

What about the socks?

I can handle the socks.

[Shower running]

Hello, Bridget.

[Camera clicks]

Miss Crawford, words cannot express our gratitude

for the happiness you bring our children.

No. I'm the one who's grateful, reverend mother.

Being here with you and the children at Christmas

is one of the things I most look forward to.

Bridget, look.

[Click click]

Be careful.

Merry Christmas, Bridget.

You know what's missing in my life?

A hit movie.

Come on.

You've got everything you want.

No, I don't. I want a baby.

A baby?

Yeah.

You know I've always wanted a kid.

You're too vain to be pregnant.

Vain.

I can't have one.

I was pregnant seven times with franchot.

I lost them all.

I'm going to adopt one.

Out of the question.

What do you mean?

I mean no agency would give you a baby.

How do you know?

I'm a lawyer.

Bend the law.

Bend the law?

Joan, you're an actress. You've been divorced twice.

Adoption agencies can be brutal.

Besides, a baby needs a father.

A father.

A father...

I never had a father.

Ma changed husbands faster

than she changed bed sheets.

Ma, with her sloppiness and her dirt.

You know, hard times is good for people.

I tell you it is.

Would I be where I am if I hadn't had them?

I could be a mother and a father.

I know how to teach a kid to take care of himself

and amount to something. I know I could.

Maybe you could.

One thing's certain.

You'd sure get a lot of publicity.

Don't you--

bastard.

You guys in Hollywood, all you

think about is publicity,

deals, box office.

Why don't you try to understand a woman?

I'm afraid I have some difficult

news for you, Miss Crawford.

The agency has denied your application for adoption.

But why?

Well... You live alone.

There's no other family member in the home.

You have two previous divorces.

You're a busy, active woman,

"and the candidate is found

to be an unsuitable parent."

Unsuitable?

Please, Miss Crawford.

Don't you dare judge me!

We have a moral and legal responsibility in this job.

Obviously you don't understand.

What you're really doing is

denying one of your children

the opportunity to live a

wonderful and advantaged life.

How sad that is.

Good afternoon.

Do I look all right?

Am I dressed right?

Oh, for god's sake, Joan.

Everything...

Perfect.

Perfect.

The kid's only a couple of months old.

It's not going to know.

I know.

Why aren't they here?

I don't know.

Greg, darling, please don't drink.

I don't want whiskey on your breath.

Damn it, Joan, I got you the baby.

It's yours! You have it.

I know.

[Doorbell chimes]

They're here.

[Carol Ann] Hello.

Please, this way.

We're so pleased, Miss Crawford.

Thank you, doctor.

Thank you.

Hello.

Oh, Greg.

She's perfect.

You're perfect.

[Baby cooing]

A daughter.

[Cooing]

My own...

Daughter.

[Joan] I'm going to make a perfect life for you.

I'm going to give you all the things I never had.

My beautiful little darling.

Oh...

You're a lucky little girl...

And very expensive.

You cost me a lot of favors.

I'm going to call you...

Christina.

Christina, darling...

My darling daughter.

My own...

Christina Crawford.

[calliope plays]

Are you having a happy birthday, Christina, darling?

This is the best party I ever had.

I love you, mommie dearest.

I love you, Tina, darling.

Up.

Here's your mommie.

Hello.

This is Christopher,

my second child.

I would like to adopt every

unwanted child in the world.

No one should be unwanted.

Oh, look at that, darling.

Life is tough enough when you are wanted,

isn't it?

It's time for his nap.

He's sleepy.

Have nanny tuck him in properly.

Christina.

Come...

Birthday girl.

Now, what do you think?

Shall we open the presents now?

Yes.

You think it's about time to?

Yes!

I'm not so sure.

Oh, please?

They're right there.

[Photographer] Miss Crawford.

The studio would like some shots of you

watching Christina open presents.

All right, Jimmy.

Come on, darling.

Oh, I have a grass stain.

Oh, darling, that will never show.

I'll just run upstairs and

have nanny take care of it.

No, dear. We'll take the photographs now.

Actually, Miss Crawford, it might read.

All right, dear, go along.

Have nanny fix it.

We'll wait for you here.

O.K., Christina.

Hold it a little more.

O.K.

Big smile, Christina.

O.K., Christina.

Wide smile now, wide eyes.

A little to your right, Christina.

Now hang on, Christina.

Beautiful!

She's a real natural, Miss Crawford.

I think that's enough now, hmm?

Tina, run down and get the other children.

Tell them to come up. We'll

open the presents for real.

O.K.

Miss Crawford, I promised the

studio some real good stuff

when she blows out the candles.

All right, Jimmy.

Oh, mommie,

thank you.

She's so beautiful.

What should I name her?

Is that the present you like best?

Oh, yes.

Then that's the present you can keep.

We'll take the rest

to the orphans who don't have anything.

And tomorrow we'll write our thank-you notes.

Oh.

Christina, why can't you...

Hello, hello.

Happy birthday, darling.

Oh, hello, darling.

Darling.

Oh, uncle Greg.

It's just what I wanted.

You like it?

I love it.

Look.

Oh, but, you see,

I'm only keeping one present,

and all the rest I'm going

to give to the poor orphans.

Yes, I--i read about that in the newspapers.

It's--it's wonderful.

So I'll just keep this for you

until you don't have to choose.

I put a lot of thought into this

when I picked it for you.

[Sighs]

All right.

This time we'll make an exception.

You may keep the doll...

And the bracelet.

Oh, mommie dearest.

Mmm.

What about Christopher's present?

This one.

Darling, remember what I told you

about adopted children?

Adopted children are luckiest

'cause they were chosen.

That's right.

Well, that's good,

but you've got to push off more with your weight.

Come on, let's see another one.

She's had enough, Joan.

But I'm tired, mommie.

Quitter.

All right, ready?

1, 2, 3...

Dive!

Better, but you've got to keep your legs together

when you go in the water.

She's only a kid.

So was I-- only a kid.

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