Mommy Page #2

- Plural form.

- So you put?

- An S.

- Very good.

$299.51, please.

Come again?

It's $300.

And what's this?

A work of art?

If it was 300 bucks

I wouldn't have rushed

all the way here

to frolic in car jams!

Ma, I gotta get those pens!

They're f***ing dope!

It's our Fall issue, come on, now!

Oh really? So a schoolbook's price's

got a season now?

Why of course, dear!

"Why of course, dear, why of course!"

How can I be so dumb!

I bet it's written in pink

on every b*tch's ass!

Madam, our sales are valid

during the back to school period.

- Afterwards...

- I haven't got a choice...

Smells like f***ing strawberries!

I'm writing sh*t

and it smells like strawberries!

You don't need it, Stevie!

Stop moving things around!

Try this one.

Mom, wait up!

There's all this sh*t, too!

I don't think so.

But I need it!

I'm home-schooling you,

not opening a stickers shop!

Mom!

Come on!

I'll be late for work.

B*tch...

You shouldn't talk to your mother

that way, young man.

D'ya dip your bangs

in some ginger's ass or something?

I don't buy cars online!

I ain't gonna spend my life

at a mechanic's!

You just gotta check your sh*t,

lowball the sh*t out of it!

Look I know the market.

You watch your suspensions, you...

The market! Sure!

And I'm Marilyn Monroe!

Well beats being the metro's b*tch

and spending mad cash on cab rides!

Steve, lemme manage the budget

and focus on your beat-off schedule.

Yo, respect me, girl!

Treat me like an adult!

Mutual respect! Remember?

Yo sir, can you cut the bongos,

it f***ing sucks ass!

Let the driver listen to his bongos!

We're almost there.

Where the f*** are we!

Sir, I said don't take that street,

we'll get caught up in construction!

You never said that.

You say that earlier!

You kidding, right?

I said, "Don't take Ste-Hlne."

That's as clear as it gets!

And you still did, like a boss!

Watch your mouth, boy!

Sir, make a U-turn.

I can't, my friend.

- We're not your friends!

- Will you shut up, Steve!

Sir, it ain't my problem.

I told you DON'T go there.

It's like all you want is to boost...

What! You accuse me?

Telling me I'm trying to rip you off?

Chill out!

Look, you tell me I rip you off,

you tell me I'm a crook,

with your son!

- You yell at me!

- F*** off, Mamadou!

Steve!

What! Get outta my car! Now! Gut!

- You idiots!

- Why don't ya shut your mouth!

Imbeciles!

Piece of sh*t!

Damn savages!

That's quite a start, Stevo!

You gonna be my good luck charm.

I could call the cops!

I'mma call them too, dawg!

I'll smash your face, little f***er!

Teach your son some manners!

B*tch!

- What'd you call my mom?

- Back off!

What d'y0u just call my mom,

you big monkey!

I ain't got time for pigs today!

Motherfucking n*gger!

- Stop it!

- You shut your mouth, b*tch!

F***ing ratface!

Get out and fight me!

Ratface! N*gger!

I think he got your point!

Go back to your jungle

mixing coconut drinks!

Not in my country!

Stop being so racist!

I'm not being racist!

He's a n*gger!

Sit your ass down.

Hi, Diane. Unfortunately...

Excuse me, Gilles, I'm so sorry.

Forty minutes...

Yes, Diane.

I'm so happy to see you.

Mr. Gravel's on sick leave.

I know, it's disappointing.

But by all means, sit down.

What favour did you want

to ask my husband?

I'm all ears

and I cannot wait to help you.

Yo, girl!

D'you want me to show ya

some sweet chill-out technique?

I'd like to hear Gilles' opinion.

I'm afraid I don't, doll.

Don't call me doll.

Gilles' gone, he can't

run the place and I'm in charge now.

Sure he'd have been very moved

by your charms,

but the decision's mine.

You can't do this.

The hell, I can.

You're not permanent.

You'll be compensated.

100% legal.

So no more Dear Abby?

Yeah, only a real journalist

will write it.

I'm talented; Gilles said so.

He said I had great timing.

I'm sure he loved the timing

of your tits in his face!

But for me, your talent here

is to make photocopies

and serve coffee four days a week.

So if you got your son full time

and can't show up anymore,

pack your sh*t

and sayonara, b*tch!

What are you doing in my bag?

Drop it.

That's my stuff...

It ain't our first ride,

Diane, is it?

Look at me.

We gonna be a team.

The two of us!

I'm gonna control myself

and I'll take care of you...

I'mma protect you.

Number one priority, school, ok?

I was your age when I dropped out.

And look at me now, I'm a wreck!

No diploma, no education, nada!

A f***ing loser!

What would Dad say?

What he'd say?

- I dunno.

- You know it.

You know it, come on!

Grab the future by the balls...

- F*** the past, in the ass.

- What?

F*** the past, in the ass.

Yeah! It's f***ing brilliant, eh!

Alright, what's the damage...

You're fine.

I dunno 'bout fine!

- You look great, promise.

- I look like a panda.

Got sh*t running down my face.

F***ing hell!

I always did that back at the Centre.

Whenever I'd spazz

I'd hop in a bitching cold shower!

Ma, you listening to me?

What the hell...

Your translator bailed last minute.

So I ended up translating...

that kids' book, it was real cute...

for a small collection...

Do you remember?

That's it!

Exactly, yes, that's right.

Yeah, so I've been thinking,

what if...

A girl's gotta ask, right...

if you had another...

little contract like that for me.

I mean, Marthe,

I know I don't have the resume

or the skills to translate some...

2-foot thick Ken Follett!

I know! Ken Follett!

Yeah, as if! So huge!

It's too much for me.

But you know, some kids thingy...

I'm thinking, "Grab the Oxford

and Bob's your uncle."

It's not...

Just as a hobby... time killer...

to kill some time.

Of course I understand, Marthe.

No! It's no big deal, of course!

Things have been great.

Steve's just moved back in.

We're starting...

One chapter ends, another begins,

as they say.

I'm back, baby!

Where you been?

I'm waiting like a fool

to home-school ya!

Save it for tomorrow!

I'm still catching up.

'The hell's that crown?

It's my new cap!

And what's all this?

Damn it...

What's that cart, for God's sake!

It's a cart!

No sh*t, but why the f*** is it

in my driveway

and why are you loading

my fridge with that stuff!

Look at all the shitzels I got ya!

I'mma pimp this crib.

Don't change the subject!

It's goddamn food!

I ain't gonna shove it under my bed!

But wait up!

Told ya I'd take care of ya.

You stupid motherfucking

dumb-ass idiot!

- How much did it cost?

- It ain't your business.

The f*** it is

when the pigs show up

'cause my son's a thief!

I didn't steal it, it's a gift.

That's real sweet

but that doesn't mean

you didn't steal it.

Where d'ya steal that stuff?

I didn't steal it!

You tell me where you stole it all

and we're gonna bring it...

I didn't steal it!

Are you f***ing deaf, hoe?

I didn't steal it!

I ain't gonna repeat it,

stupid b*tch!

Calm down, don't throw a fit.

Mommy isn't mad,

but we'll bring everything back...

It's yours!

We're not bringing back anything!

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