Mona Lisa

Mona Lisa

Mona Lisa

men have named you

You're so like the lady

with the mystic smile

Is it only

'cause you're lonely

They have blamed you

For that

Mona Lisa strangeness

In your smile

Do you smile to tempt a lover

Mona Lisa

Or is this your way

to hide a broken heart

Many dreams have been

brought to your doorstep

They just lie there

And they die there

Are you warm

Are you real

Mona Lisa

Or just a cold and lonely

Lovely work of art

[ Knocks ]

[ Knocks ]

Yeah?

Do you want m um?

- Mum!

- Who is it, love?

-J eannie, get inside. Get inside.

-J ust let me talk to her.

- you can't do this to me.

- You've been away too f***ing long!

- Mom, no!

-Just a minute! It's all I'm asking for!

- She don't know you, George,

and she don't wanna know you.

- She's my daughter!

you can't do this to me!

I only came to see her!

- No!

- you can't do this to me!

- I'm sorry, love. I'm sorry.

- Get out!

- Get out!

- Mum!

you cow!

I only came to say hello.

- Hello!

- [Dog Barks ]

[People Chattering, Laughing]

F*** off.

Go on. F*** off.

Oi, you gonna

clean all that up?

Hey, hey! Take it easy, boys.

Okay? Hey!

J ust let him be, all right?

The man's upset. Okay?

That's the right word,

George, eh? Upset?

So where did they

all come from?

- They live here.

- Since when?

- Since you went inside.

-Jesus.

- Did you get my last book?

- Yeah, yeah.

Shouldn't have been

the driver, though.

- Who should it have been?

- I could pin him in the first chapter.

- Who should it have been?

- The Chinese fellow who fed the goldfish.

- you didn't write it, George.

- No, no, I didn't, but EFL had--

Christ!

- you kept it.

- Aye, I kept it for you.

- you keep it tuned?

- [ Whistles ]

[Engine Starts ]

["Mona Lisa"]

Why does she hate me,

Thomas?

- She doesn't.

- Yes, she does.

you can never tell with women, George.

They're different.

They wear scarves

and like to powder their noses,

and when they go to heaven,

they get wings.

- Like angels?

- Aye, like angels.

- But angels are men, Thomas.

- Men?

- Yeah.

- No one told me that.

[Tires Screeching]

It's true.

Angels are men.

[Dog Barking]

[ Chirping ]

you got a big white rabbit

with long, floppy ears?

No, but we have one

with short ears.

- What's his name?

- His name is Arthur. He's over here.

Oh, right.

He'll do. Yeah.

- What is this, George?

- It's a rabbit.

You're not gonna start

all that business again, are you?

- Huh?

- Yeah.

Why not?

- Look, George, you can't go in there.

- Why not?

It's different.

What, Mortwell,

is he different too?

Very different.

- Ah, we'll see.

- Come on, George.

You're not going in there.

[ Scoffs ]

I've done seven years for him, Thomas.

Listen, George, you don't know

what they're up to now.

- I don't give a f***. Give us the rabbit.

- No. What you want it for?

I'm gonna give it to him.

It's up to you.

We're closed.

- Tell him, Terry.

- Yeah, we're closed, sir.

Hello, Terry.

He'll have a lettuce,

and I'll have a Bloody Mary.

- George.

- That's right. This is Arthur.

- What are you doing here?

- Looking for Mortwell, Terry.

Bit of work, you know.

What do you do now?

- Whatever comes up.

- Yeah, but this is a knockin' shop.

- Leave your hat, George.

- So where is he?

- Mortwell? He's not around.

- Yeah.

- Well, he must be somewhere.

- Better ask Dudley, George.

Through there?

Cheers.

[ Computer Beeping]

Expecting me?

- [ Beeping Continues ]

- Knew I was out?

I suspected it,

George.

So where is he?

Where's who?

Mortwell.

He's away, George.

- South of France.

- He owes me, Dudley.

- He said he'd look after me.

- He said a lot of things, George.

Next time you see him,

give him that.

Hey, George, George.

Come on.

- Look, we need a driver.

- I'm a driver.

- Do you know what a bleeper is?

- A what?

I can't understand it.

How's that little thing supposed

to go bleep wherever I am?

Well, it bounces off

the post office tower, George.

Miracle of modern technology.

Yeah, but it hasn't got

an aerial or nothing.

It doesn't need one.

I'll show you, right?

- [ Beeping ]

- What's that? Is that going?

No. That's just a test.

It's makin' a noise.

Don't knock about with it.

For Christ's sake.

[ Muttering ]

Bet you buggered it.

What do you think?

What do you do,

melt it down and eat it?

No. They're

ornamental, George.

- Ornamental spaghetti?

- Right.

- I reckon it'll go about.

- Where'd you get it?

Contacts, George.

Can't find plastic spaghetti

just anywhere.

Ah.

I don't suppose too many people

make it, do they?

Well, the Japanese have

cornered the market.

you fancy

a fiberglass fruit fly?

Or a polystyrene

tutti-frutti?

Fancy a cup of tea?

What's it made of?

Leaves.

[Train Passing]

[Pager Beeping]

[Women Speaking French ]

[Piano ]

[Man On P.A. ]

Paging Mr. Carrington.

Paging Mr. Carrington.

Where's the bar?

Take a seat, sir,

and I 'll take your order.

Paging Mr. Carrington.

Thank you, sir.

Doing business?

- Darling, sorry I'm late.

- What's with the "darling"?

For f***'s sake!

What do you think this is,

the Honeymoon Hotel?

Look, do you have

business in this hotel,

or can I really help you?

- Where's your car?

- Over there.

- Pretend you know me, would you?

- I don't know you, do I?

- you f***ing--

- I beg your pardon.

Not the back!

The front!

- So where did they get you from?

- Under a cabbage leaf.

I have to work in these places.

The bar boy turns a blind eye,

but the manager doesn't.

- you gonna tell me

where you want to go?

- The Lambert.

- [Tires Screech ]

- Jesus!

Sorry.

Didn't they tell ya that?

You're to be my date,

not my minicab driver.

- [Horn Honks ]

- What does your date do?

He looks after me, you dingbat.

There's men who want to see me.

- What if he don't?

- He pretends.

How do you pretend?

- Christ! Who sent you?

- Does it matter?

- You're the tom, darling.

-Just shut up and drive, would you?

Oh, can I have

a large Bloody Mary?

I'm sitting here,

all right?

Hey, did you hear me?

Are you serving here or just

wearing in a new pair of shoes?

Oi!

Want a drink? They don't seem

to serve you here.

I've done it wrong again,

haven't I?

Okay, I got it wrong.

That's-- Oof!

What do you expect?

I'm not used to working

in piss holes like this.

[Stereo:
Orchestra ]

- That was quick.

- you were asleep.

- Was I?

- How was he?

- I beg your pardon.

- How was the Arab?

- None of your business.

Huh. All right.

Where to?

King's Cross.

[ Women Laughing]

[ Hookers Chattering ]

Hello.

Like a chocolate sandwich?

[Woman Laughing]

- Goddamn market, isn't it?

- Shut up.

Drive on, please.

[Woman ]

Hey, don't go, mate!

- And now?

- you leave me here.

Good night then.

you have to get yourself

some clothes.

Why would I have to get myself

some clothes?

If you're to drive me.

Here. Use this.

- I'm not having you paying me.

- Why not?

- you don't even like me.

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