Money for Nothing Page #2

I put it outside in the thing

when I was doin' the other thing

Let me help you with the laundry

- Somethin' fell What fell?

- My key

Lick your fingers,Joey!

This is

your lucky day

Ninety-one, clear.

I watched them secure the doors

No way those bags

could've Just dropped off

So do you mind telling me

where they are now?

Do you have any clue where they went?

Did theyjust fly away?

Pat Laurenzi,

South Detectives

It's been 48 minutes

- since I placed the call.

- How much money's missing?

$12 million

Are these the two drivers

in question?

He's the driver

I'm the hopper

Hopper What is that?

Do you hop around?

- I hop out and get the money

while he wait in the truck

- Detective Laurenzi

I don't want tojump

to any conclusions before...

you complete

your investigation

But our equipment is inspected

on a weekly basis

This obviously

involves human error

or criminal conspiracy

Did the alarm malfunction?

The door's locked.

The men carry guns.

An alarm system would be

an unnecessary redundancy

See, this never would've happened

if you hadn't cut us back

We used to have

a third man ride in the back

- Lock me in Yeah

- Lock you in?

I ask for a detective

They send Houdini

Okay

The trucks they give us ain't fit

to carry clothes to the Salvation Army

You're terminated

Both of you

I'm on the Job 14 years

when you still in school

It was Just me, your father

and two Puerto Ricans

and a converted milk truck

Look, I got a family to support

I'm 52 years old I can't go

and start knockin' on doors now

You should've thought of that

before you f***ed up.

In our top local story tonight,

Liberty Bell Courier announced

$12 million fell out

of the storage compartment

from one of their armored trucks

during a delivery run.

Did I hear that right?

A million bucks fell off a truck?

Our reporter Lois Bowden filed an

earlier report from South Philadelphia

where police are concentrating

their efforts to recover the lost loot

- Losing

$ 1.2 million isn't as easy-

- Anybody want more fish?

- But it can happen

- Joey, shhh, I wanna hear this

Standing beside me is Steve Hrbek,

vice president of Liberty Bell Courier

Mr Hrbek,

how could this happen?

I can't give any reason

for this unfortunate mishap.

I can only say that something

went seriously wrong.

- I'll say

- Even though they are rare,

you find that incidents...

like these

do occur in our business.

Usually the money is recovered

before the story hits the evening news

but obviously in this case,

that didn't happen.

Is there anything

you'd like to say to the person

who found the money?

It's not yours Give it back

Reporting from South Philly,

this is Lois Bowden, Channel Five news.

In other news,

60% of Philadelphians we polled...

said they would leave

the City of Brotherly Love,

if given a chance.

Who conducts all these polls, hmm?

Nobody ever asks my opinion

That dumb S.O.B.

who found that money...

- he don't even know what he's in for

- What's an SOB?

- Never mind

- Well, lucky stiff

He did no more

than the politicians

He picked up his.

They got theirs handed to 'em.

It ain't against the law

to find money.

- It is to keep it

- What are you talkin' about?

Happens all the time

down at the docks, right?

Guys tryin'to take home

unclaimed merchandise.

- They're always doin'it

when no one's lookin'.

- Burn 'em at the stake

- You don't understand anything,

you know that?

- No

You don't take something

if it's not yours You Just don't

A lot of people got money

problems, they don't steal

This guy, he finds this money

Pennsylvania law says if you

find somethin'worth over $200

and you don't try to return it...

you're committing a crime,

same as stealin'

And you get up

to five years in prison

You get five years?

Yeah, for findin'

some money

What are you,

the attorney general?

If I found that loot...

all them garbage cans up there,

I wouldn't have to be pickin'

out of'em no more

I'd order me up limousines

two feet longer than anybody else's

I'd build me a house

way up on top of the hill

And they'd say, "Man, you live up there?"

I'd say, "Yeah, I live up there"

They'd say, "How you live

way up there?" I'd say, "Man,

it could happen to any of us"

- You know what I mean? Heck, yeah

- That's a hundred dollar bill

Whoa!

If I found a million dollars,

I'd buy more shoes than Imelda Marcos

- The rest I'd probably waste

- Not me

I got a condo I can't sell

The bank's gonna repossess it

I got a Porsche I can't drive

The insurance is too high

I got a girlfriend who likes to drive

through the south of France

and drink

ten dollar cappuccinos

If I found a million dollars, I'd put it

up as collateral to get out of debt

- then borrow more money.

- dd

There's a gentlemen

staring at you

- Oh, yeah?

- I think so

Do you know what you could buy

for $12 million?

- I'm gonna come back

and have a drink later

- Okay

Could I have a vodka and cranberry?

Stoli, with three limes

I was sitting here

a minute ago

- Can I get a Rolling Rock?

- We only carry imported

- All right, run a tab.

- Okay I need a credit card

I'm applyin' for one

It's okay

dd

How's everythin'

goin' at the bank?

Joe, get it right We're not a bank

We're an investment firm

- I thought we decided

not to see each other anymore

- Yeah, we did

Come on, Monica, I know

you think I'm here-

I don't need a glass

I know you think I'm gonna try to talk

you into sleeping with me

And that we're gonna get back

together and then we're gonna

break up It's gonna be a mess

I just need your help...

in an area of your expertise.

Expertise in what,Joe?

Money

Money?

Here's a question, seriously

Is there a way for a guy

like me, a guy who's stuck

to walk into your firm

and invest a big chunk of change?

A million cash,you know.

Whatever. What kind of

questions are they gonna ask?

What kind of questions?

They'll need to see picture ID,

your social security number

- That's all I need?

- If it's less than $10,000

Anything in excess, we're required

to notify the Treasury Department

Is there a way for me,

you know, and you maybe, to

move around the commas and

the zeroes so that the IRS

doesn't find out about it?

Joe,

a guy like you is never gonna

walk into my office with a million cash

All right

I mean, who you kidding?

Look at you, you're still wearin' the

same clothes as the last time I saw you

Check, please

- I got it

- No, no, it's on me

That'll be $975

Hey, you know,

some money fell off an armored truck

There's a police alert now

for suspicious characters

spending hundred dollar bills

If Joey Coyle has a hundred dollar bill,

you can rest assured it's his last one

He's a good lookin' guy, that guy

You know that guy?

dd

Can I get a pack ofTareytons?

Can you make it two?

So, what do you think?

Do you think this guy's gonna make it?

- I hope so, but half the town

is looking for him.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes