Monkey on My Back Page #6

---

Barney, what did the man want?

Just business, Cathy.

Are you coming to bed?

Yeah. Be right there.

There's a 50-cent piece under the sink.

-l need the money, Cathy.

-Why do you need it so badly?

l need it. It's nothing.

l believed everything you said this morning.

l wanted to believe you so much.

You got any more dough?

l've got $12 in my purse.

That's all you've got?

You can take this, too.

l won't need it anymore.

So you're running out on me, too?

l don't need you. l don't need nobody!

Just one shot, that's all l need,

Just one shot,

a candy store,

a place where l can flush out

another member of the club,

another bird with a hot arm

and a sweet tooth,

There he was,

another guy trying to fight off

the end of the world with a gumdrop,

Hey, l've been waiting for you, neighbor.

l ain't done nothing.

Take a good look, neighbor. Can't you tell?

Yeah. You're jumping, too.

Who's your pusher? Where is he?

l know you.

-l've seen you someplace before.

-Forget it.

Where's your pusher?

l know that face.

-You're a big shot.

-Forget that. l'm in a hurry.

-l'm in a hurry.

-Sure.

l'll help you.

Only, my pusher, he don't come out

until he knows the money's waiting.

There. Satisfied, ain't you?

-l gotta telephone.

-Here.

Wait here, neighbor.

You got here, Benji?

You ain't got a monkey on your back.

You're carrying a gorilla.

-Save the jokes. You got it?

-Where's the cash?

Help!

Don't.

What happened to you?

l was robbed.

Why did you come back here?

l forgot how much l love you.

Don't say it, Cathy. Don't even think it.

l'm dirt. l stink.

l don't belong in the same world with you.

l smell of the sewer. l'm something to hate.

l only hate you for one thing.

Why didn't you tell me it was dope?

-You know that?

-Yes.

How long?

This morning.

Why didn't you tell me, Barney?

Why did you try to hide it?

Did you think l wouldn't understand?

Honey, you didn't give me a chance

to understand.

l couldn't tell you. l was afraid l'd lose you.

lt's not too late.

Not while there's any hope. That's what

l learned while l was away from here.

When l found out what it was

that had destroyed us, l had to come back.

You mean you'd live with me the way l am?

No.

Then what are you trying to say?

Not the way you are,

but the way you could be.

You think l could make it?

You think l could beat it?

No, you can't. But the man l married can.

l always bragged l was a winner, didn't l?

Well, l wasn't.

Not even in the ring, l wasn't. It was just

the legs and the speed God gave me.

lt wasn't me.

And the gambling, that was because

l kidded myself, too. And the dope.

l told myself l was a winner.

l could kick it anytime l wanted.

l've kidded myself into losing

all down the line.

But l ain't kidding myself now.

The dope's stronger than me.

ls it stronger than we are?

l'll make you a promise, Cathy.

And this one l won't break.

lf l don't lick it, you won't have to leave me.

l won't come back.

-Barney.

-Not now, Cathy. If....

When l come back.

This is what they meant

when they talked about kicking the habit,

No control of myself,

a thousand little, hot, branding irons

at the end of every nerve in my body,

l could only hope

that God was in my corner,

-First week's always pretty rough.

-l'm okay.

Don't make it too tough, Barney.

l told you,

you can have an extra shot to tide you over.

l'm okay, Doc.

l never quit after one round in my life.

l'm okay.

all the hell of withdrawal was the easiest

because l was fighting something,

l had something to lick,

But now the craving's gone,,,

and all that's left is fear,

fear that the craving will come back,

fear that maybe l'm onlysafe

while l'm in here, and there's no temptation,

Each minute's an hour, Each hour's a day,

Each day's a week, Each week's a month,

Each month's a year,

and all l can do is sweat them out,,,

and wait, and wait,

and hope, and pray,

Come in.

-You wanted to see me, Dr. Latham?

-Yes.

Barney, how long have you been here now?

Four months, six days, four hours,

30 minutes.

How long do you think the taxpayers

are going to support you?

What's eating you, Doc?

You did a big thing

when you came in here voluntarily...

publicly admitting your addiction.

lt may give courage to a lot of people

just like you.

But we have no room for you.

No kidding, Doc? No kidding?

Is this on the level? Am l going home?

Am l really cured?

So far as we're concerned.

But you have to know it.

You have to remember it

every waking hour of the rest of your life.

Once you walk out of here,

it's strictly up to you.

Hey, Sully.

Have you heard the news?

They're tossing me out.

Yeah, l've heard.

-ln my book, you're still a champ.

-Thanks.

-Can l call my wife?

-No outgoing calls. You know the rules.

You and your rules.

They're great. Great!

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes