Monsieur Gangster Page #5

But to get back to housework,

what you said

is very pertinent,

and it steadies you.

How very true!

Yes, the devil finds work

for idle hands.

Where's Jean?

Why?

We're out of ice

and we're out of scotch!

Give her some fruit juice.

You know what you can do

with your fruit juice...

Patricia's uncle says

there's no scotch.

Then buy some... with that!

Hands off the lolly, b*tch!

Drinking at that age!

It's a scandal.

But we're not minors.

We might have a little snort.

You can say that again.

The fact of the matter is...

the kids pirated

all the usual merchandise.

We'll have to try

a new taste thrill.

- Oh , memories!

- We're saved.

Saved?

Let's wait and see.

You broke out the vitriol?

What do you mean?

It looks okay.

As a first impression,

I would say...

it looks pretty weird.

The Mexican made it

when he was in his prime.

But we had to stop production.

People went blind...

It was bad for business.

Yes, you can't deny it.

It's got body!

You're right, it is weird.

I knew a Polish girl

who drank it for breakfast.

But you must admit

that it's a man's drink.

Know what it reminds me of?

The juice we used to drink

in a joint near Saigon.

Red shutters...

and that big blond lady who ran it.

What was her name?

- Montmartre Lulu.

- You knew her?

I can taste apples.

They're in it.

That's where

Lucien the Horse got it.

You know who did it?

I got amnesia!

Montreal Teddy.

A crazy who only used dynamite.

Those were the days.

Sulking?

Me sulk?

Don't be ridiculous.

But I'm fed up

with clandestine love.

Kissing over the telephone

even twice a day

is very cute, but...

I'm a man!

It's all your uncle's fault.

You all act like

you're scared to death of him...

I'll talk to him.

About what?

I'll talk to him...

about our marriage.

About you,

about me...

about us!

Say that again.

About you...

About me...

Just the first word.

I liked that one best.

Okay, I'll grant you

that, near the end,

Jo the Jolter

was losing his grip.

But during the dark days

of the Occupation,

nothing could stop him.

He even wiped out

a Panzer division.

Was he running a tank?

No, a milk bar.

Why don't you listen?

I can't think straight.

Jo had a secret formula.

Where?

Down the hall to the right.

A sack of spuds,

a sack of sawdust...

and 25 quarts of Napoleon brandy

came out of the still.

Jo was a magician.

And that's why

I feel free to invite...

certain disrespectful quarters...

to shut their goddam yaps.

You can't tell me...

there's not just apples in it.

There's something else.

It wouldn't be

sugar beet, would it?

They're in there, too.

What do they teach you

in school, honey?

Pretty girls

always learn too much.

Know how I see your future?

You wanna know?

I'll tell you anyway.

I see an international career...

travel...

Egypt, for example.

Nice place, Egypt.

And the best thing is they know...

how to treat artists right.

Do you want anything , sir?

He offered me a trip to Egypt.

Oh, I just said Egypt

off the top of my head.

I might have said...

Lebanon!

Ah I see! The gentleman

is a travel agent?

No, darling, the gentleman

is a white slaver.

But it's nothing unusual.

I wish I could

get some real food.

Your niece is

with a jealous guy.

I'm talking to her...

you know me,

ever the gentleman...

I know my manners...

when this squirt

looks for trouble.

He used bad words!

It's Mister Antoine! Kicking him

out the door isn't enough!

I guess I'll have to

kick him through it!

I think it's closing time.

Get out!

Dowry hunters don't belong here!

The French family deserves respect!

Over-indulgence

excuses over-familiarity.

Did we drink?

Just apple juice.

I'm gonna teach you tact...

with my foot on your backside!

What were we talking about?

Our youth.

Wake up!

What are you doing here?

I must inform you...

that Patricia didn't

go to school today.

Patricia isn't in school.

The school just called up.

She's going to school.

She's going right now.

She's gone?

That's impossible.

You knew her mother...

- So?

- Heredity.

Her mother was always running out.

Susie the Smile

was a slum kid.

At 1 6, she was a star.

I don't see the tie-up.

We could call the police...

The Mexican would spin in his grave!

The cops looking for his kid?

Sometimes, you're brilliant!

Did you see her leave?

Yes, at eight... as usual.

Notice anything?

Yes, sir. Her bags.

He tells me this now?

It's unbelievable.

A kid leaves for school

with her bags...

and you think it's normal?

Go on, boy, go on

or he'll break your dirty face...

What a bunch of jerks!

Thanks for your help.

What's that?

The license number of her taxi.

You're sure it's here?

Yes, I had to haul the bags.

She's crazy!

We always say that

when dames walk out on us.

Wait for me.

Better call another cab.

If the lady sees me, I won't

look good . No one like a sneak.

In our racket, we try

not to get mixed up in...

the ups and downs

of people's romances...

I knew a hackie

who hauled husbands.

This chick turns him

into a sieve in broad daylight.

- She had a lousy aim.

- OK, OK.

Don't be too tough on her.

Good heavens!

Where must a man go

to find peace and quiet?

To Greenland?

I almost had

an absolute anti-chord.

Absolute! You hear me?

The music of the spheres.

But that's over your head.

Ape man !

Do you mind?

Mr Delafoy, when you've finished

fixing the plumbing...

I expected that!

The plumbing!

Lowbrow irony!

Homespun wit!

Victorian sarcasm!

Mr Naudin, you may know all about

bulldozers and tractors, but...

as for your opinions

on modern art and music,

I advise you to use them

as suppositories...

and in children's sizes, too!

Since you threw me out,

I don't see...

- Where's Patricia?

- I don't see why you're here.

Where's Patricia?

Here I am , uncle!

What are you doing here?

What does this mean?

As you can see:

I cook, I mend, I clean.

In short,

I'm taking care of Antoine.

After all, he's spending

the rest of his life with me...

Spending his life?

You're staying for lunch.

Go to the Italian place.

We're low on wine.

He likes bordeaux or burgundy?

I'll get both.

Don't you feel well?

It's nothing.

I'm going nuts, that's all.

It's burning!

You can come in.

Why did you run off like that?

You had us worried sick.

Why did you throw Antoine out?

- Want my opinion?

- Yes, now you've tasted it.

It needs thyme.

I mean... my opinion

of your Antoine!

" My" Antoine?

You're right there.

He's marrying me.

Let's not lose our heads.

Do you love him?

Enough to marry him?

So much that

it's almost indecent.

I deserve something tragic,

something Spanish...

or even Russian!

Come on, have a little drink.

The hair of the dog.

I didn't have a drop.

Then why were you up all night?

You even took two baths.

Just nerves.

You won't be home late, will you?

I don't want your future in-laws...

to get the wrong idea.

Your Antoine is very amusing

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