Monsieur Verdoux Page #4

---

A southwester blew up

and landed us on a mud bank.

We had to wait for high tide

to get off.

Oh, you look so fresh and salty.

Do I, darling?

I want you to meet some friends.

Vicki, Captain Bonheur.

I forgot your married name.

- Darmond. Call me Vicki.

- Joe Darmond, her husband.

How do you do? Well, we'll blow.

I beg your pardon, I mean beat it.

- Pleased to meet you, Captain...

- Bonheur.

Bonheur.

Well, then all I can say is bonsoir.

- Pigeon.

- Who are those people?

Friends I met at the races.

Be careful. You're too accessible.

You can stoop and pick up nothing.

- Never mind. Have you been good?

- What a question.

- Fooling around with native girls?

- How could you think it?

When you're away,

I think of all sorts of things.

You see, all I think of is you.

No kidding?

Every moment - in the cabin,

on the bridge, even on the poop deck.

You're always in my mind -

wondering what you do, whom you see.

Oh, pigeon.

Then alone at night,

under a canopy of tropical stars,

with the soft strains

of a Viennese waltz from the salon...

- Music, on a cargo ship?

- Oh, yes, we have a radio.

Oh, yes.

Now you've interrupted my thought.

- You were thinking of me, pigeon.

- Yes, you.

I would think of these adorable arms,

these little hands.

and this delightful little wisp -

let me kiss you there.

I wish you didn't have to go back.

I'd much prefer to stay

and look after you.

- Why don't you?

- You know.

I can't stay home and do nothing.

It'd be different

if I could manage your business.

Uh-uh. I can manage

my own business affairs.

You don't trust me.

- I do trust you but -

- You don't! You don't.

That hurts.

That's what mars our happiness.

You trust everyone but me.

Strangers can sell you anything.

Any proposition and you'll bite.

But, what do you know about business?

Emphatically more than you do,

my dear.

Last time, you told me

all the banks were going broke,

getting me all horsed up

about bringing my money home.

- Well, it's a good thing I didn't.

- Very well, we'll forget the matter.

- Don't be mad, pigeon.

- I'm not angry, my dear.

I'm saving you from squandering

your money on these enterprises.

- Worthless stocks.

- They're not.

All of them.

Well, I still have faith

in the Pacific Ocean Power Company.

- What's that?

- I've told you about it.

It's a machine that floats on waves.

Wheels that make electricity.

What does it make when it's calm?

Don't be a pessimist.

That's what I mean. Wasting

your money on sheer nonsense.

Inflation.

Very soon money will be worthless.

- What have you done?

- What do you want to do?

Invest wisely, safely at least.

Land, houses or jewelry. I knew

a friend who has some antique -

- That's funny.

- What?

- Just what I did.

- What?

- I bought jewelry, diamonds.

- Where?

Don't get excited. From Joe, Vicki's

husband. The people who just left.

My dear, that's not the way

to buy jewelry.

He's a fence. He deals in hot stuff.

I got a bargain, diamonds that big.

180 karats worth for 20,000 francs.

- You couldn't buy glass for that.

- I did and not glass either.

- How do you know?

- Are you crazy?

- Let me see.

- If they double-crossed me, I'll -

I'll tell you whether

you're double-crossed or not.

Just as I thought, phony, fake.

- What?

- Glass you silly ass, glass.

- I must catch that 8: 15.

- You just got here an hour ago.

I'm the captain. I can't stay away

while it's in repairs.

- Repairs?

- It's up in dry dock.

I'm here alone without a servant.

- I can't help that.

- Why did you come home?

To save you from crooks, swindlers,

people who are trying to rob you!

I'll put them in jail.

No, you won't. You thought

you were buying stolen goods.

That's what you get

for being dishonest.

200,000 francs you've spent.

And what have you to show for it?

Nothing, not a thing of value

but this house.

They'll take this,

with the legal complications.

- They won't.

- They will.

They won't. I put it in your name.

The first sensible thing you've done.

They tried to attach my account.

- Attach your what?

- Don't worry, they didn't get it.

I took my money out

and I have it hidden away.

Here in the house?

Why...

It doesn't matter where.

Nobody will find it. Not even you.

There you go,

you're always suspicious.

I'm not. It's just my defensive

mechanism, as you call it.

I hate to leave you alone

in this house tonight.

- Stay.

- I could leave early in the morning.

Why don't you?

We could go places and do things.

Captain or not,

I'm not leaving you alone tonight.

Pigeon.

Two ounces of chloroform, please.

- How much?

- 75 centimes.

M. Challain.

My husband, Captain Bonheur.

I am president of

the Salt Water Fuel Company.

- What?

- Here's 5,000 francs.

- I'll send the rest.

- Thank you.

- What is this?

- This is a personal matter.

It might interest you.

A device for turning salt water

into gasoline.

- Give me that money!

- How dare you!

Don't you do that.

Don't you ever dare humiliate

me again in public.

I tried to stop you

making a fool of yourself.

I'm not so dumb. I won a lottery.

Of all the effable nonsense,

turning seawater into gasoline.

If it's a success,

we'll own the ocean, that's all.

Preposterous.

Oh, go to bed.

I want to get some sleep.

Very well, my dear.

- Who are you?

- I'm the maid.

- What do you want?

- I hoped to sleep here tonight.

- You were discharged.

- I've nowhere to go.

- Who is it?

- It's the maid.

- What does she want?

- She wants to stay.

I promise you,

I'll leave in the morning.

Oh, alright, let her stay.

Merci, Madame.

I don't know what happened

to that bedroom.

It looks like a cyclone hit it.

Was I mad at you?

No.

- Coffee?

- No, thank you.

- I thought you've fired her.

- Changed my mind.

- Why?

- That's me. I haven't the heart.

I can never find anyone else

to work as cheap.

- I must get back.

- I won't see you

- for six weeks?

- I'll return before she sails.

Goodbye, my dear.

Mme Grosnay. Mme Grosnay.

G.

Ah. Gro... Gro... Gro...

Ah, here we are, Mme Grosnay.

Passy 3211.

Hello, Passy 3211, please.

Hello, has Mme Grosnay

returned to town?

Oh, she has?

This is Benedict, the dressmaker.

Oh, she's out now?

When will she return?

12:
30? Thank you.

No, there's no message.

Mme Grosnay.

151 Avenue Victor Hugo.

Ah, 151... 151...

Mme Grosnay. Captain Bonheur.

Who?

I said I had the honor of meeting

you in the south of France.

I'm M. Varnay.

You came to look over my house.

- Oh, yes, I remember.

- Ah, yes.

I wanted to send an astrology book

but couldn't find your address.

- Quite so.

- Quite so. Quite so.

I realize I embarrassed you then,

but if you'll only allow me

to explain.

I don't think that incident requires

any further explanation.

Good day, M. Varnay.

- Good morning.

- Good morning.

I want to order three dozen roses,

half a dozen orchids,

and send them to Mme Grosnay,

151 Avenue Victor Hugo.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes