Monster Family

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Hot, hot, hot! Ow, sun, sun.

Oh, no.

Okay, then. On your marks.

It's not unusual to be

loved by anyone

It's not unusual to have

fun with anyone

If you should ever want

to be loved by anyone

It's not unusual to find

that I'm in love with you

...pathetic.

I'm just a bat, myself.

Stop it.

I am the Prince of Darkness.

I do not do cuddly!

...right there in front of everybody,

"Keep the car, it'll be worth it"...

I'm sorry.

No, not worth it to "ow".

Worth it to get rid of her.

Quiet! What is that noise?

Do you hear that?

Oh, it's me.

It's my pocket vibrating.

Hello?

Er, hello?

Oh, hi. I want your teeth.

Excuse me?

- Your fake vampire teeth. You see...

...I've been looking everywhere.

You are my last hope.

I can assure you, madam,

I may be getting on in years...

...but my teeth

are very much my own.

This is 'Vampires R Us'?

The costume store?

This is Dracula.

Who?

Dracula.

The Prince of Darkness.

No? The Bat Out Of Hell.

The Scourge of Transylvania.

King of bats.

Okay... Dracula.

I'm hanging up now.

Stop! No, please don't hang up.

Please.

Er, why not?

It's...

...it's just so nice to finally have

someone to talk to.

Are you lonely?

So, so very lonely.

Well, we could chat some more

if you want?

I would like that very much.

What's your name,

fair maiden?

Emma. Emma Wishbone.

Well, Emma Wishbone, maybe...

...it was fate itself

that brought us together.

Are you alright?

I'm sorry, that was lame.

Hello? Hello, Emma?!

- Oh, come back!

Hello? I can barely hear you.

Great. Now I get to buy a

new phone I can't afford.

Off, you stupid thing!

Emma Wishbone

Renfield!

Find me Emma Wishbone.

And I will make her my wife.

And bring in my washing.

I think it's going to rain.

Do you know what today is not,

Cheyenne?

Your day?

Precisely.

Darling, you say that every day.

Yes, but today, instead of calling a

costume store, I ended up talking to Dracula.

And because of that,

my phone fell into the drain.

Who did you speak to?

Just some weirdo.

Why do these things keep happening?

Let me relax you with a massage.

It's as if there's a curse

on this entire family.

Max is having a hard time at school

and the shop is in decline.

Max, show us your experiment.

Fellow classmates, I present you -

the Solar System.

Our group of planets

orbit the magnificent Sun.

It burns at

27 million degrees Fahrenheit.

But one day, in around

five billion years time...

...the Sun will start to cool

and the Earth will be plunged...

...into a deadly ice age.

The whole planet will be covered with ice.

And all life will end.

Any questions?

Yeah. How do you wanna die?

My daughter Fay...

...desperately wants to be

a grown-up.

"I'm the only one for you"

"Because I only love me

I only love me"

Fay, if you fancy this guy so much,

why not talk to him?

He only goes for model material.

"I only love me on my own."

- That is just so cool. - Awesome.

Is it something new of yours?

- Yes...

You're really pretty, Fay.

- Sure. Didn't you see my last magazine cover?

Well then, see you tonight,

ladies.

Oh, no, Sheila,

he's coming over here.

So you smile then say 'Hi'.

- That's way too complicated.

No, all you need is a push.

Well that's one way of meeting.

What's your name?

Er, Girdl.

You're called Girdl?

Flmm.

Flmm?

Flam.

Okay, Flam.

Do you feel like

getting off me now?

- Oh, Fay.

- Yeah, sure.

Earth to Fay.

- We're looking for...

...some pretty girls for our new video.

And we're shooting it tonight.

So?

- So, you're a pretty girl.

I am?

- See you tonight.

Flam.

He thinks I'm pretty.

Isn't that your brother over there?

- Brother? Who?

Oi, get back here, you geek!

And Frank,

Frank is never home.

Wishbone, I want these

loan applications by tomorrow.

But I wanted to be home on

time today to see my family.

You love your family?

- Yeah, of course.

Then avoid getting fired!

Leaving them with absolutely

nothing to eat.

What is that?

- Stress gives me wind.

Sorry, guys.

- Come on, Frank!

Smells like something crawled

inside you and died.

And now I can't even find

vampire teeth for my costume.

I just wanted us to do

something as a family again.

We used to have so much fun.

Dressing up, going to parties.

Look what I've found.

Where did you get them?

- Charity shop.

Used teeth.

Just one careful owner.

What's wrong?

- I just wish we had a party to go to.

You mean like this?

Monster Costume Party.

- Wow.

Cheyenne, this is perfect!

My family will love it!

When was the last time

we did something fun together?

Don't know, don't care.

One year, nine months

and 23 days ago.

So we've got some

catching up to do.

I've got to get ready for my date.

And I need to catch up on cold fusion.

I've got work to do.

But I've already made

the costumes, see?

My baby don't care for rings

Or other expensive things

My babyjust cares...

for me

My babyjust cares for me

My dear old friend, what would you say

if I offered you your freedom?

Release me?

If you can still perform

your transformation spell.

I can.

My amulet.

By fire, by light,

by all things bright!

Here, prove it on this.

Don't we look great?

Mum, you're really embarrassing.

No matter...

No matter what I do,

you think I'm embarrassing.

When I put on make-up, I'm embarrassing.

When I don't, I'm embarrassing.

When I wear a miniskirt, I'm embarrassing.

- No, then you're not embarrassing.

I'm not?

You're just really sad.

Well I think mum is beautiful.

- Don't be so scared all the time.

I'm not scared.

If you stood up for yourself,

you wouldn't get beaten up.

Are you being bullied at school?

I'd rather be a suck-up

than fail my exams.

You're failing your exams?

Don't hit your brother!

Fay!

- You didn't say anything about kicking.

Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.

- Dictionary mouth.

Frank, can you say something?!

- What? Something.

Well you did ask, Mum.

Don't you get smart, Max.

- Too late.

Frank!

You will transform

this woman into a vampire.

But, Dracula, you are.

Why not simply bite her yourself?

If I bite her,

she will lose her soul.

And her soul is exquisite.

Difficult spell this is,

on humans.

Will only work

if the person is unhappy.

Wow, a red carpet.

This really looks like

my kind of party.

- There you are.

- Hi.

We're here for the party.

- Yeah, I know, dear. Follow me.

This way

- Okay.

I have them.

- Wow...

...we're really getting the VIP treatment.

Good job, Mum.

- Didn't I tell you it would be fun?

Let's rock.

And where exactly is here?

What sort of party is this?

Oh, and why are we on a stage?

Why are we the only ones

wearing costumes?

They think we're the band.

Okay, then, we can do this.

Silent night, Holy night,

All is...

Imposters!

I have a feeling that Emma is

very, very unhappy.

Then enchant her, I can.

Excellent.

And fix this before you go.

Hm? Ach.

I need a holiday.

Well that was less than ideal.

- Why don't you talk like a regular person?

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