Moontrap

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120 feet.

100 feet, 3.5 down, 9 forward.

5%.

Quantity light.

75 feet. And it's looking good, down 0.5.

6 forward.

60 seconds.

Light's on.

Down 2.5.

Forward. Forward.

40 feet down, 2.5.

Kicking up some dust.

30 feet, 2.5 down. Faint shadow.

4 forward.

4 forward, drifting to the right a little.

Down 0.5.

30 seconds.

Contact light.

Okay, engine stop.

Tranquility Base, here.

The Eagle has landed.

Okay, Neil, we can see you coming down.

I'm at the foot of the ladder.

I'm gonna step off the LM now.

That's one small step for man,

one giant leap for mankind.

Tranquillity Base, Houston.

And you're cleared for take-off.

8, 7, 6, 5...

Abort Stage, Engine Arm, Ascent.

Beautiful.

Very smooth.

Very quiet ride.

Good morning, good morning!

The future is here, the future is now.

It's the 1990s.

This is the start of a brand new decade

full of thrills, chills, excitment.

So, let's hear from one

of our regular listeners,

the man you all know and love,

the man you've all been waiting for...

Jason Grant!

That you, Phil?

You guys must be bored too.

Just doing my job, buddy.

Keeping tabs you.

We don't want you skipping out,

taking the hardware for a joy ride.

Don't I wish?

Listen to us, Phil.

I can't believe how routine

this whole business has become.

Guess you can get used to anything, huh?

Say, how about putting Koreman on?

I got an important question for him.

He's here. Hang on.

Hey, Chuck, what's the weather like today?

You don't wanna know.

Why torture yourself?

What the hell, I'm a masochist. Tell me.

Well, high 70s.

Nice breeze off the Gulf.

Not a cloud in the sky.

Oh! Why did you have to tell me?

I suppose you got the usual 4 o'clock

tea-off time at Briarwood.

Matter of fact, I do.

I wanna try that new 3-Wood.

Harv says it'll cut two strokes off my game.

No, I can't take it anymore.

I bet I can drive the green

on that 8th hole.

You know, the one where

the palm trees block the trap.

Enough already!

I'm looking out my window right now and

I, sure as hell, don't see any palm trees.

Hey, you asked for it, buddy!

So, what do you see?

Anything to write home about?

Same old thing.

Never thought I'd say this,

but I've been on this job too long.

Guess I'm just starting to realize that.

Yeah, but you wanted adventure.

High adventure. And you got it!

You call this adventure?

Come on, I'm a truck driver.

Maybe you just need a little time off.

A couple of weeks in Mexico

when you get back.

Lie on the beach, play some golf.

I don't know. I gotta do something

to liven this place up!

The final frontier.

The space shuttle Camelot

journeys into the void

braiding the dark depths of the universe.

Manned by the daring and adventurous

Colonel Jason Grant.

And...

his dynamic partner,

Commander Ray Tanner.

Who at this very moment

is probably dreaming about...

food.

Hey, Houston, when we get back,

Tanner and I are gonna organize a campaign

to get rid of this freeze-dried crap.

What do you think about that?

Sorry, Jason.

We can't have you guys cleaning linguini

and clam sauce out of the air filters.

But I'm hungry. For real food!

I'll make a reservation for you at Demitre's.

Now, you better wake up sleeping beauty.

That wounded bird's coming your way.

Can't miss the pick-up.

Roger, Houston. Will do.

Check with you when we got it in the bay.

Not bad. Pretty quick.

It's just training, habit.

From the old days of

carrier duty on the Med.

Plus, let's face it...

Clean living.

My ass.

Oh, and let's not forget youthful energy.

You're not as young as

you used to be either, buddy.

Our best flying days

are behind both of us.

Ah, yes, but yours are farther behind.

What your problem is,

you still think you're a fighter jock.

I bet you even had one of those

Top Gun nicknames, right?

A-ha!

There must be a reason

why you never told me.

Come on, what was it?

Look, I'll even tell you mine first, okay?

Einstein.

They always said I thought my way

out of tough scrapes over Nam.

"Einstein" Grant.

Come on, that's an order. Let me hear it.

The...

"The Penetrator".

Ah, come on, look!

Because I always went the farthest

at the target, goddamnit!

Libya, Tunysia, Lebanon, it was me, pal.

I was always first in, last out.

- "The Penetrator"! I love it, I love it.

- Screw you!

Sir!

SLR is picking up something.

It's just another lamed-up satellite

for the space janitors to collect.

No, it's too big.

Christ, it's nearly a quarter mile long!

A quarter mile?

Yeah. And closing fast.

Hey, Chuck, are you tracking this?

We got it down now.

Sounds okay. Crazy elliptical orbit.

Way out of the usual satellite tracks.

That's why we never pick it up.

Well, get us a course projection, quick!

I'll pull us out of here if we--

No danger to you, Camelot.

Plotting shows a comfortable miss.

Hold on, we've got some

conflicting reports.

Here we go. I got it scanned.

Is that what I think it is?

I think it is.

What the hell have we got here, Jason?

Looks like some kind of a ship!

We got to get it in cameras.

Everything we got.

Okay, I'll tell you what. I'll grab one

and get some stills from the port.

Yeah, in a minute.

I'm gonna get us closer.

Okay, guys, listen up.

We copy Houston.

What are your words of wisdom?

Here's the story.

Object's orbit is coming apart

at the seams, decaying fast.

It'll be going down real soon.

Any chance it might survive re-entry?

Locked in tear, Colonel,

that's a big negative.

We'd like to request a volunteer

to jump over to it.

Again for the record,

it's strictly volunteered.

It could be very dangerous as hell.

What do you say, Ray?

I got it.

No! Me!

You're the command pilot, Jason.

You shouldn't be taking risks like that.

Bullshit! I'm out the door, Houston.

All I hear is heavy breathing out there, pal.

So, how does it look to you?

Big.

Very descriptive.

Very big!

You always had a way with words!

Listen, Ray...

Check all the sensors

for any kind of radiation.

I'm in range now.

Well, there's no significant infrared.

It's been cold a long time ago.

Radioactivity?

Nada.

Just incredible!

I can't find any other words for it.

This is history.

Hey, partner, you see any

little green dudes out there?

You watch yourself.

You don't wanna get shot for trespassing.

Looks like there's writing of some kind.

Anything look familiar?

Strange hieroglyphics.

Not like anything I've ever seen before.

Now, I'm coming up on a breach in the hull.

Careful, man. Don't get carried away.

There's something else in here.

I think I can reach it.

First thing I've seen

that isn't all burnt to hell.

Okay, got it!

What is it?

I have no idea.

Looks self contained.

Like it wasn't part of the ship.

I'm gonna bring it back.

How's our time?

Make like Jumpin Jack Flash.

Roger.

He's 14,000 years old!

That's pre-history!

It's also absurd and ridiculous.

Thought you all saw the analysis.

And we ran the carbon dating

a number of times.

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