Mother, May I Sleep with Danger? Page #2

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(dog barking in distance)

WOMAN:

So, how's it going in there?

Fine.

You know,

I miss you being around

more than just on laundry day.

Mom, come on,

at least I'm close.

I could have gone

out of state.

(gasps)

And I'm just

giving you a hard time.

(laughs)

Oh.

I wanted to show the invitation.

The invites went out this week.

Looks good.

I think it's gonna be

even better than last year.

You're gonna have

a great time.

You always do a great job.

Oh, thanks, baby.

So...

how did the audition go?

Good, I think.

(sighs)

Isn't Macbeth, like,

one of the bloodiest plays?

So what?

So, I don't know.

Are you sure you want

to be around all of that?

Mom, it's a play.

William Shakespeare.

They do it in elementary school.

I know that.

But not everyone

has been through

what you've been through.

I'll be fine.

Okay.

So I was wondering

if I can invite

someone over for dinner

on Friday night?

Who?

Um, just someone

special I want you to meet.

Leah?

"Just someone special"?

Of course, yes.

That would be great.

Don't make a big deal

about it, okay?

Who? Me?

No, I...

I got this.

Baby

(camera shutter clicking)

Stop your chasing me

Stop your staring,

hungry eyes

Give up your fantasy

I'm not playing games...

Is this okay?

It is impossible

for you to look bad.

LEAH:

I still want to do a shoot

outside the studio

at some point.

Why, you don't like it here?

No, just...

you never leave.

I like my cave.

I want you to come

to dinner at my mom's.

Yes, Leah.

LEAH:

Please?

It's time.

I thought that you said that

your mom was super conservative.

Yeah.

She is.

And weird and crazy.

Sometimes I wonder

if she's my real mom.

We're so different.

But it's important to me.

I just don't get why you care

so much what she thinks.

I don't care.

But I don't want

to hide anymore.

Okay.

(camera shutter clicking)

(chuckles)

I have something for you.

It's beautiful.

What did I do to deserve this?

I just want to thank you

for being my muse.

(camera shutter clicking)

I love posing for you.

Good, 'cause I want

to photograph you forever.

(chuckles)

(phone chimes)

Oh, my God.

What?

I got Macbeth.

Shut up.

Yeah.

(laughing) Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

That's awesome.

(laughs)

Oh, my God.

Oh, Bob's gonna be

so pissed off.

Who's Bob?

Just this guy

that has a crush on me.

He got Macduff.

Mm.

Doesn't Macduff

kill Macbeth?

Yeah.

Uh-huh.

I guess he'll have

the motivation.

Man, don't worry

about that play.

We got that huge

party tonight.

It's gonna be sick.

There's gonna be

so many chicks there.

Yeah...

Oh, man, so many.

Yeah, dude,

like, at least, like, 50 people

are coming to the party.

Yeah, it's gonna

be a huge kegger.

Whoa, whoa.

Hey, hey, hey, Bob, look,

your girlfriend's outside.

LEO:

Oh, holy sh*t.

Looks like you've been barking

up the wrong tree, buddy.

You guys shut

the hell up.

(chuckles)

Enjoy the peeping, Bob.

WOMAN:

What's going on, Pearl?

What do you mean?

Seems like you and Leah

are getting awfully close.

I'm still gonna do it. Soon.

It shouldn't be

taking this long.

Why are you spending

so much time with her?

Because I'm making

sure she's willing.

Better if

it's quick.

We don't want you having

any second thoughts.

I won't.

She's almost ready, I just don't

want her to have a bad turn.

You still owe us.

Yes, I know.

Well, we're waiting.

(door opens)

LEAH:
Hi!

(door closes)

Wonderful. First time she's

on time in her whole life.

Hi, hon.

Hi, Mom.

Are you early?

(chuckles)

Home cooking?

Stop it.

Raising you as a single mom

most of your life

didn't give me

many opportunities

for cooking lessons.

You might want to

put the oven on.

(sighs)

Great.

Yeah.

So what time

is Bob coming?

Bob...?

That's who's coming

to dinner, right?

(doorbell rings)

No, Mom,

it's not Bob.

Who is it?

(door opens, closes)

Mom... this is Pearl.

Hi.

Hey.

Thank you for

making dinner.

Yeah, no problem.

We have some of Mom's

homemade pie later.

You know, to be honest,

I, um... I kind of thought

Leah was bringing

a boyfriend over tonight.

Oh.

Sorry.

So, Pearl,

what do you study?

Um...

Pearl's

a photographer.

Really?

PEARL:
Yeah.

Yeah, she practically lives

at the photo lab at school.

It's my second home.

(chuckling)

Is that what you

want to do or...?

Yeah, it is.

Wow.

Mom.

What?

No, no, I... I think it's cute.

You guys all want to be artists.

(laughs)

My parents were actually

photographers.

I'm sure they're

very proud of you.

Mm.

They're gone... now,

but... they were.

Pearl, I'm sorry.

That's... that's unfortunate.

I'm sorry about that.

No, it's... totally okay.

It's fine, it happened

a long time ago.

Well, I'm sure Leah's

told you about her dad.

We're no strangers to loss.

No, she didn't.

He was murdered six years ago.

It was in Florida,

this psycho was

on the loose with a gun,

and it was Thanksgiving,

and he went to the grocery store

to get some

last-minute things...

...and the guy came in

and started shooting.

I had no idea.

I'm so sorry.

That's why we moved

to California.

Right.

Um, how about

we lighten the mood?

Why don't I, uh, go get

that homemade pie

I've been working

so hard on and some coffee?

Yeah?

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, thank you.

Be right back, girls.

Are you okay?

Yeah, I'll be fine.

This is just so weird.

You didn't tell her?

Not really.

LEAH:

I'm so sorry I didn't

tell you about my dad.

I don't talk about it.

PEARL:

I get it.

It's okay.

Thank you.

(insects trilling)

PEARL:
Well, you must be

a pretty incredible woman

to have raised

a girl like Leah.

Aw, thank you so much.

Think I got pretty

lucky. (chuckles)

Thankfully, she's had

so many great friends

to help her out

along the way.

This is great.

Now we can add you to

that list, Pearl, right?

(chuckles)

You know, it's funny.

Between us girls,

I'm actually really

nervous for the day

that Leah brings home

a boyfriend from college.

(chuckles)

LEAH:

Mom?

What?

The reason I told you

someone special was

coming over is because...

...Pearl is special,

to me.

Pearl is my

girlfriend.

This is just news to me,

you know?

I, uh... I don't know.

LEAH:
I didn't know

how to tell you.

Yeah, you just did.

Yeah.

I'm sorry, I, uh, I'm just...

I'm feeling a little tired,

and I think this is just...

just too much for me

to handle right now.

So, uh...

Mom.

Leah, please.

Thank you

for coming over.

Thank you.

Lovely. Thank you.

Thank you for having me.

Good night.

WOMEN:
Double, double,

toil and trouble.

Fire burn and cauldron bubble.

Thrice the brinded

cat hath mewed.

Thrice and once

the hedge-pig whined.

Harpier cries,

"'Tis time, 'tis time."

Roundabout the

cauldron goes.

In the poison

entrails throw.

Toad, that under

cold stone,

days and nights

has thirty-one.

Sweltered venom

sleeping got,

boil thou first in

the charmed pot.

ALL:

Double, double,

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