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Motherhood
[Snoring]
[Sighs]
[Police sirens sound
in the distance]
[Car alarm goes off
in the distance]
[ Dog barking ]
[ Honking ]
[ "Skip to my Lou" plays ]
[ Cat meows ]
Huh! Hello, Lady.
Edith? You okay in there?
EDITH:
Yes, dear, I'm fine.
Do you need anything
from the store?
Hurry up, guys.
ELIZA:
Clara!You're going to be late for school!
EDITH:
Orange juice, perhaps.
Does Lady need food?
EDITH:
I don't know.
Okay, well,
I'm closing the door now, Edith.
It's not safe to leave it open.
[ To herself]
'Cause I live in a firetrap.
Come on.
It's not a firetrap.
That's a treasure trove.
ELIZA:
If stacks of stuff dated fromthe '50s count as a treasure trove.
AVERY:
Oh, they do.ELIZA:
Avery, you're gonna haveto move the car today, remember?
AVERY:
Right.ELIZA:
You sit in it with Lucasand hold our spot...
-...and I'll walk Clara over.
-AVERY:
Right.Okay!
Oh.... Come on, sweetie.
Careful, guys.
CLARA:
Careful, guys.ELIZA:
Didn't I just clean this outlast week?
Hey, check it out.
Look at those books!
Think we can get them
before mom notices?
No, Avery, please.
Put your family's best interest first.
Think of the common good.
That's exactly what I'm doing.
LUCAS:
That's exactly what I'm doing.
AVERY:
Okay, in the car we go.
Can I have some?
[ Sandrine says something
in French ]
[ Sandrine greets them in French ]
I wish I was French, too.
It's my birthday tomorrow.
I'm gonna be six!
And I'm having my party
up there tonight!
Really?
In your apartment.
ISABELLA:
For my sixth birthday,we had a private marionette show.
I'm gonna have 10 friends!
My seventh
was at the Swedish Cottage.
First, my mom said I could
only have six friends
because I'm gonna be six.
Then, Serendipity 3
delivered frozen hot chocolate.
But then, my dad talked her
into letting me have 10.
Afterwards, my friends and l
got carriage rides
in Central Park at sunset.
I'm gonna have a triple layer cake,
with purple frosting.
And I'm gonna have
really cool goodie bags,
right, Mom?
AVERY:
Not the goodie bags again.
SANDRINE:
Eliza, you are brave.
Really? How so?
Just to live as you do, you know?
The stairs, the children,
the car, the dog.
It's a bit exhausting, no?
Is that your definition of "brave"?
Eliza, could you give me a hand
with this buckle?
Um, Mom, you forgot my backpack,
and I definitely need it
before choice time.
Okay.
SANDRINE:
Eliza, are you--?
Are you wearing your nightgown?
ELIZA:
Has it really come to this?
That I, Eliza K, Welch,
find myself humiliated
in my nightgown
in front of my neighbor's
townhouse?
My husband has run Clara
around the corner to P.S. 3,
and I have exactly
nine minutes to write,
How can a mother
articulate her ideas
with anything approaching
wit or conviction
in such ridiculously
tiny wedges of time?
ELIZA:
Oh, it's ZachsMommy again,
"Quit complaining, SanctaMommy!
No one has any time,
Save your quest for self-expression
until the kids go off to college,
[ Scoffs ]
Must a woman's soul
wither and die
simply because she opted
to become a mother?
I want to finish the laundry
and a complex sentence,
to think tantalizingly
deep thoughts
and throw a magical birthday party
for my daughter,
Is that truly too much to ask?
ELIZA:
She's more than half way
to double digits,
She'll be going to college
in 12 years,
That used to seem
like a long time,
Now I can blink,
and it'd be over,
ELIZA:
"Speak your mind and becomeour resident Mom-ologist
with your very own column,
worth up to 3,000 dollars a month!
Runners-up receive
either 1,000 dollars
or an all-expense paid trip
to this year's Mamapalooza,
the festival for moms who rock, "
"Just send us 500 words telling us
what motherhood means to you, "
Oh, my God!
It's perfect!
Oh, no,
[ Groans ]
TOUR GUlDE:
Folks, coming up,
we're going to see the historic former
home of Edna St. Vincent Millay.
But first,
ELIZA:
Excuse me.This is a neighborhood, people,
not a theme park.
"Get her picture! Get her --!
"Here's the corner we all know
and love from Friends."
Though, whenever you see
an inside shot,
that was actually filmed
on a soundstage in Los Angeles.
WOMAN:
Hurry, kids! Hurry! Come on!
ELIZA:
Hey! Sheila! Sheila!
Hi! What's shakin', babe?
Do I have
Joan Crawford eyebrows?
magic marker, and I didn't check.
Tell me the truth.
No, they look good.
They're, 'ya know, zesty.
Zesty?
I have to have this in Clara's
classroom by choice time,
or it's sudden death
for Bad Mommy.
-Will you walk with me?
-Sure.
SHEILA:
Hey, do you want me
to pick up Clara
and bring her with us?
'Cause I know Trixie
would love it.
But I thought Joel
had the kids on Fridays.
Oh, he's in Santa Fe.
Oh.... Chasing another
new wild potter?
I don't know. Maybe.
Who cares?
ELIZA:
I've really gottago for this, right?
I mean, there's something validating
about having a real job, you know?
It's been awhile.
Yeah, there's definitely something
validating about having a real job.
I mean, especially one
that actually pays you more
than the childcare
required to do it.
And it has been awhile.
You sure you're ready to move
beyond entourages
of organic snacks?
Completely!
I mean, it gives me a chance
to explore what it really means
to become a mother,
and nobody talks about this stuff.
The sleep deprivation,
the funks, the non-stop cleaning,
the death of lust.
I can see Lunchbox magazine
flying off the stands.
Here's my first headline:
"To thine own self be true:
Don't Breed."
Too late.
[ Whispers ]
Hi, Trixie!
Sh*t!
-What?
-Avery forgot to walk Coupon!
Sh*t is right.
You better get home, or you're
gonna find a deposit on your rug.
ELIZA:
Avery?Avery.
Avery.
This stuff is incredible, really.
Uh, Avery, um, did you forget
something this morning?
AVERY:
What?I don't know, it was essentially
our firstborn, you know?
The one
with the incontinence issues?
Oops, sorry.
Single most abused word
in the English language.
AVERY:
"Oops" or "sorry"?
All right, so I'll stay with Lucas,
and you go get Coupon.
Oh, no, no, no.
You can't do that.
I got an editorial meeting at 9:30.
If I don't leave now,
No, no, no, no!
You never told me that!
Yes, I did. I told you this morning
while you were combing Clara's hair.
Don't worry, I'll be back by 1:00.
No, but 1:
00 is too late!I don't think Coupon
can hold it till then,
and he can't walk himself
because he can't make it
down the stairs anymore.
AVERY:
Holy Moly!ELIZA:
Did you goto the cash machine at least?
Eliza, I wish you would stop
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"Motherhood" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 7 Sep. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/motherhood_14103>.
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