Mothers and Daughters Page #4

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have a baby with you.

So have you been

reading my emails?

Why would I

read your emails?

I don't know.

Seems like an awfully

strange question to come up

-out of the blue.

-It's Rigby.

I saw her today.

I'm supposed to

keep it a secret.

She's pregnant.

Really?

I didn't even know that

she was seeing anybody.

She was.

She's not anymore.

I guess that's why I'm

just trying to figure out

whether she wants

to keep it or not.

I got this email

the other day.

I've been trying to figure

out how to tell you about it.

Here it goes.

Dear NM45729,

What is this?

Just keep reading.

I recently submitted a

request to the state

adoption board for a copy of

my family medical history.

And I learned they had little

on file, but said they would

forward a message

if they could.

If you're reading this, then

you're my biological mother.

I don't wish to know your

identity and I'm not ready

to give you mine, but I

have some questions about

my health and I wondered

if you could tell me a

little bit about anything

I should be aware of on

you or my father's side.

I have no record of

who my father might be.

You should know that I

have wonderful parents and

I'm very happy.

Thank you.

NC45729.

I never told you about

it because it was like

a lifetime ago.

And I like to pretend that

it happened to someone else.

It's your private life,

you know, before you met me.

No obligation to

tell me anything.

But I love you.

So if you wanna

tell me, I'm here.

Okay?

Twenty-three years ago,

I was completely lost.

And I uh, and I

fell for this guy.

This musician who

convinced me to go on tour

with him as

his girl, so...

We were on the road for a

few months and I was not

prepared for

that lifestyle.

I mean, there were so many

drugs and there were some

really weird parties

and really...

things.

Anyway, after, after a

couple months I couldn't

take it anymore and I left

and I went back home.

And then I uh, I realized

that I was pregnant.

And I really couldn't

say who the father was.

I couldn't even

take care of myself.

And uh, there was no one

to help me so I thought it

would be best for the

baby to give her up.

Ever regret that?

Everyday.

What do I say to her?

Hi, I'm your mother.

I was a complete slut and I

don't know who your father is.

Do you wanna meet her?

I don't know. I just...

Maybe.

You don't need to rush it.

Give her the

information she wants.

And if you need to meet

her, you'll both figure it

out at some point.

It's gonna be okay.

I really want us to see

each other again, but I

don't want her to find out

that we're still talking.

It's not exactly the kind

of thing that fosters

trust in a marriage.

Well, just give me a

little bit of time to

figure out how to

make that happen.

Me too.

Okay.

Oh, hey. I'm sorry

I woke you up.

No, it's alright I...

I couldn't...

I couldn't sleep.

I was worried.

I needed a little

time to think.

So the loan guy called.

I didn't get it.

Oh my god, baby.

I'm so sorry.

It's okay, it's okay.

It's okay.

-I'm sorry.

-It's okay.

Hey listen, I've been

thinking about something.

Um, I was thinking about

what you said earlier

about leaving your

parents and you're right.

You stood up for

me, you know, you...

You took a chance that

I would be the guy that

you'd hope for.

Isn't that what

people in love do?

Yeah.

Yeah, but what they don't

do, or what they shouldn't

do is ask the people they

love to give up other

people that they love.

No, that...

It didn't have anything

to do with you.

That was my choice.

But I let it happen so I

feel like it was our choice.

And it was a mistake.

Look, I know that it's

very hard to trust

anything I say right now,

but since I feel like you

have a little bit of pity

for me, can I ask you a favor?

Well, you can always ask.

I want you to

call your parents.

No.

Why?

Listen...

After my mother died,

there hasn't been a single

day that's gone by that I

don't think about what it

would've been like to share

every single moment with her.

The good and the bad.

And it's just too much

burden for me to feel like

I am the reason that you

don't talk to your parents

and god forbid something

should happen to them.

Kevin.

No.

Not after the way they

treated you. No.

Look, they never treated

me badly, Gayle.

Being careful about

bringing somebody into

your family,

that's admirable.

That's not judgmental.

And look at me.

I mean, they were right

to be worried about their

daughter's future.

I don't blame

them for that.

I just...

I know that they love you.

I know that they want

the best for you.

And I just want you

to think about it.

I'm just being selfish

because I'm thinking maybe

we can move in

with your parents.

It's better than living in my

grandma's closet in Newark.

[laughs]

I will think about it.

Thank you.

How was it tonight?

Pretty tame.

Made some good

tips though.

How are you feeling?

Super tired.

I slept the whole day so

now I can't really sleep.

What are you watching?

Just channel surfing.

Still pretty wound

up from today.

What are you eating?

Chocolate brownie.

Your faves.

I'm kinda tight with the sous

chef so he made me a batch.

Speaking of which, I'm

gonna send you some.

Thanks.

Hey.

Don't worry, okay?

Someone's gonna

be a match.

You know what I'd like?

I'd like to know what it

feels like to have a man

be in love with me.

I mean, really love me.

Not some idea of me or how I

make him feel about himself.

Me.

What if I don't

get to feel that?

I think some people live

really long lives that

never get to feel that.

I'm scared, too.

You know why I called you?

I mean, after

all this time.

To save me from a

lifetime of debauchery?

[laughs]

Um, I guess because we've

been best friends forever.

You're the last person that I

know that really loved me.

My mom said that once when

she came up to campus.

You remember that weird modern

dance recital that we were in?

She said afterwards that

she thought that we seemed

like sisters.

You know that place I

was telling you about in

Chinatown is getting a new

shipment in from Hong Kong.

I was thinking about using

some of my tip money and

going to buy some new

brocade and boucle.

Only you can get that

excited about fabrics.

[scoffs]

Okay, I mean I was gonna

make you something,

but if you're gonna

go and talk some

trash then you're

on your own.

Sorry.

Come on in.

Take a seat.

Uh, so uh, I just wanted

to say thanks, uh,

in person for what

you've done for me.

Uh, I know what I do with

music, but those pictures,

you really, you really

captured something.

Well, thanks. Thanks.

I mean, you were the one

that inspired it all so

really were just

a great team.

I want you on my tour.

Six months.

Wow.

That's amazing.

Um...

Yeah, it would be amazing to

have that kind of time to,

you know like,

tell a real story.

Yeah, something amazing.

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