Motivational Growth Page #2

You could get killed out there.

(tv noises)

The Mold:
Lookin' good, Jack!

Ian:
What.The. F***.

The Mold:
You planning on staying conscious this time?

Ian:
I may not be conscious now.

The Mold:
Oh you are, Jack

More so than before, in fact.

The Mold would say you're nearly enlightened.

At a precipice. A turning point.

And The Mold heard you on the horn, you know.

The Mold thinks you're making a mistake.

Ian:
I think talking to the grime is a mistake.

I think thinking the grime is

talking to me is a mistake.

How much of that sh*t did I inhale?

The Mold:
Too much, not nearly enough.

That's not really the question you want

to ask, Jack. That's not an answer you want to hear.

Ian:
The answer I want to hear

is that you're nut talking to me right now.

That the f***ing scum-

The Mold:
Fungus!

Ian:
fungus, is not f***ing

correcting my vocabulary.

The Mold:
Come here, Jack

Ian:
My name is Ian!

The Mold:
The Mold knows, Jack. Come here.

Ian:
I don't think you do know,

because you keep calling me "Jack".

The Mold:
Closer.

Ian:
You seem pretty pretty pissed

when I called you scum. I think there's

an analog there. You can grab onto that. Relate to it.

The Mold:
Closer still.

Ian:
Some people don't like their own name,

I, personally, like mine.

This is why calling me anything

other than my proper name kind of...

(loud burp)

(coughing)

(knocking on door)

TV guy!

Don't worry buddy that's him,

that's the fix-it guy!

Hey, oh sh*t.

Box. Hi. What's going on?

Box:
They used to call me "Box the Ox."

Did you know that?

"Box" because I was a fighter

and "Ox" on account of me being naturally large.

I never knew what an ox was until my brother

who they called "Little Randall" on account of

him being even bigger than me,

told me it was like a bull, only dumber.

I didn't much like that, and it sort of

stuck with me for some time.

Recently, I went to visit Little Randall

in the stoney lonesome, you know what he says?

Ian:
What did he say-?

Box:
Shut up.

You know what he says?

He says, "There's old Box the Ox,

come to visit his big brother in the bucket!"

Ian:
Wow, I mean okay.

Box:
You ever been to a prison Folliver?

Ian:
I've never

Box:
Shut up.

They've gut these little booths you sit at

to visit with who ever it is you're

supposed to be visiting only you're separated

by this bullet-proof glass with little holes

drilled in so you can talk. There's this other

square hole down at the bottom where you can

put your hands through and shake hands

or if you have to or pass things through.

So I go like I'm going to shake Little Randall's hand

and he puts it in that little hole,

only it's both of his hands on account

of him being in the rings.

You know what I did then?

Shut up!

I took his one hand like I was gonna shake it,

but I pulled on it instead, and when his wrist

got stuck in that little square hole,

on account of the rings, you see,

I turned those hands around 'till the left one

was where the right one was

supposed to be, and the right one was

was where the left one was supposed to be.

Little Randall yelled like when you

stab a cow in the belly, and I was dragged away

by the bluebells all the while telling Little Randall

he shouldn't have called me dumb like that,

and at least I'm not in the bucket,

at least l got a building, and property,

and tenants who pay me rent,

and hands that still work like hands are supposed to.

Ian:
Look, if this is about back rent-

Box:
This isn't about back rent, Folliver, it's about family.

Little Randall thinks I got a situation

where I'm paid proper, he's got this idea

cause I told him and I'd hate to lie to my family.

Imagine what they'd say, yeah?

Ian:
Look-

Box:
Shut up.

I need some of that rent, I don't care how much,

I just need to know you're not trying to

take advantage of old Box; aren't trying

to make him a liar to his big

brother stuck in the bucket!

Ian:
I can do that.

I can get you some rent.

Box:
That's good to hear,

there are plenty of things I don't much like to hear.

That you can't get me vent, is something I like to hear.

Ian:
I can understand -

Box:
Shut up.

Give me something soon, soon okay Folliver?

Ian:
Yeah, Box of course.

This might sound weird to you,

but I actually have all the money that I owe you.

Box:
What's the problem then?

Ian:
Well, you live way on the other side

of the complex, you know?

I haven't left this apartment in

going on 16 months now, I think

And this is the problem,

for me at least, I'm not interested

particularly in leaving either.

Box:
Mail it.

Ian:
Mailbox is out there.

Box:
I'll come back then.

(knocking on door)

When should I come back?

Hey, Folliver you listening to me?

When do you want me to come back?

Ian:
whenever..

Box:
Right, I'll be back here in three days.

You have your rent together

and we won't have a problem.

Ian:
Yeah, uhuh, sure.

Box:
Three days Folliver

[magical music]

Guy:
Not so fast, heh.

Ian:
Who the f*** are you?

Plasmoday:
You see that?

That's a thing of beauty, I've been using it for years.

Not many people can do that,

what I just did. Art sort of thing.

Ian:
Your foot?

Plasmoday:
Well it's sort of lodged in there,

I'd ask you to shut the door to illustrate

but we just did that.

Ian:
Yeah, I meant to do that.

That was me trying to shut my door.

Plasmoday:
Right, and there she is.Thing of beauty.

So. Task at hand. Let's see your busted set.

Ian:
My what?

Oh! Oh Kent! My television!

You're the TV guy.

TV guy:
Yeah, that's me.TV guy.

Ian:
Wow. Look, I'm really sorry,

I was all just trying to shut my door,

you were like boom right in there, you know?

I didn't know you from Adam.

Plasmoday:
Funny you should say that, may I come in?

Ian:
Yeah, of course, sorry come right in.

Kent, my television, is right over there.

Plasmoday:
So this is it, huh?

Ian:
Yeah, that's him. He's been in my family for years.

Plasmoday:
I can see that.

Ian:
I was just watching it-

Plasmoday:
Nope!

(ominous music)

(groaning)

Got it, okay baby, here we go!

Ian:
Whoa, the f***?!

Plasmoday:
Your set's dead, pal.

Ian:
You licked my TV!

Plasmodayf:
Tubes fried.

Ian:
You licked Kent.

Plasmoday:
You're not gonna find

a replacement for this old thing.

Ian:
With your tongue.

Plasmoday:
You consider plasma?

Ian:
I don't even know what that is.

Plasmoday:
You don't need to know what it is,

you just need to know that you need it.

Ian:
I'm not sure that I do.

Plasmoday:
You do, pal.

You really do.

This set is old news. It's a relic.

This sort of thing serves no

purpose in today's society, this sort of thing

Ian:
I think we're done here.

Plasmoday:
Don't do that.

Look you need state of the art.

This sort of thing is what'll get you

through your current predicament.

Ian:
Excuse me?

Plasmoday:
Your predicament.

Ian:
Which predicament is that exactly?

(hissing noises)

(ominous music)

Plasmoday:
You can't hide it, Ian.

It's all over you, I can smell it.

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