MovieReal: The Aviator Page #6

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I want smooth titties, gentlemen.

Smooth titties.

- It's all in engineering, isn't it, Odie?

- Howard...

...do you really think they're gonna let you

put out a whole movie just about tits?

Sure. Who doesn't like tits?

Good afternoon, gentlemen.

Sorry I'm late.

Please record that Mr. Hughes has arrived

and this session is now called to order.

- I yield the floor to Mr. Breen.

- Mr. Hughes...

...members of the committee, I've reviewed

the photoplay entitled The Outlaw...

...and I can state that I have never seen

anything so unacceptable...

...as the shots of the mammaries

of the character named Rio.

For almost half the picture,

the girl's mammaries, which are quite large...

...and prominent,

are shockingly uncovered.

For this reason, I concluded the picture

appeals only to prurient interests...

...and should be denied the Motion Picture

Association's seal of approval.

Really, Mr. Hughes.

- Thank you, Mr. Breen. Mr. Hughes.

- Thank you, Mr. Chairman.

Mr. Breen. It's good to see you again.

I haven't seen you all since that situation

with all the violence in Scarface.

The situation here revolves

around Miss Russell's mammaries.

Mr. Breen feels that they are

too prominent, yes?

More prominent than other mammaries

have been up on the screen?

Well, I hope to dispel that notion.

Jean Harlow.

Ann Sheridan.

Irene Dunne.

Claudette Colbert.

Rita Hayworth.

Betty Grable.

And the lovely Miss Jane Russell.

Now, all these shots, save for Miss Russell,

were enlarged from pictures...

...that received

Mr. Breen's seal of approval.

Now, as you've probably noticed by now,

they all contain mammaries.

I will ask my associate to join me now.

May I introduce...

...Dr. Ludlow Branson

of Columbia University.

Dr. Branson...

...is a mathematician of some note.

Yes. And he will now demonstrate...

...that in fact...

...Miss Russell's mammaries

are no more prominent...

...than any of these other fine ladies'.

Doctor.

Doctor...

...you forgot your calipers.

Gentlemen, Mr. Hughes.

Let us commence by calling this...

...Mammary Exhibit Number One.

Now, you'll see that the length

of the actual cleavage...

...if I may, is...

...5 inches and a quarter.

Now if we move to Mammary Exhibit...

Dateline:
Hollywoodland.

Movie tycoon Howard Hughes

must have the greatest job in the land.

Every night, the lucky guy escorts

a different beautiful woman...

... to a different dazzling event.

The TWA king always talks up

his airline as he escorts a succession...

The Hercules, ladies and gentlemen.

The Hercules.

A plane, a boat, a flying city.

Don't forget, every bill comes to me.

They don't pay for anything.

Those men decide whether to fund

the plane, so I need them happy.

- You do what it takes.

- You betcha, boss.

How are the girls

in the bomb department?

Well, let's put it this way,

it'll be a regular boob buffet.

I don't think the Air Corps men

will have trouble scoring.

- Good.

- And inside, 700 brave American soldiers...

... a dozen Sherman tanks all winging

their way over the Atlantic...

... free from the threats

of the U-boats below.

Could Jules Verne himself have

ever imagined anything so magnificent?

Could he have imagined her mammoth

wingspan, longer than a football field?

Don't you see how this demeans me?

Since when do you care

about scandal rags?

Every time there's a picture of you with

another woman, it's a slap in the face.

- Don't you understand that?

- Well, that's overstating it.

Joan Crawford, Ginger Rogers,

Linda Darnell, Joan Fontaine...

...and now Bette Davis,

for God's sake.

Look, they're Cracker Jack candy, honey.

They don't mean anything to me.

Oh, very nice.

You're the one that said

that all men are predators.

I mean, it's all in Darwin, remember?

And am I to expect this behavior

to continue after the wedding?

What is really bothering you, Kate?

Is it the women or the publicity?

Can't you eat ice cream from a bowl

like everyone else in the world?

Don't you dare.

Yeah.

No, Odie, this is not a good time.

For chrissakes, we can't make The Hercules

if we don't have any aluminum.

Wait.

I can hear you better now.

Tell the War Production Board...

...that this is an essential

strategic operation.

If they're giving aluminum to Boeing,

they can give some to Hughes Aircraft.

Don't set the ice cream...

We gotta think of something else. If we

can't get aluminum, we'll find another way.

You tell me. We'll find

some alloy that works just as well.

Right. Look...

- lf we can't get aluminum, we'll use wood.

- You can't make a plane out of wood.

Why not?

The damn thing is a flying boat, right?

- What do they use to make boats?

- Oak.

And think of The Hercules

like a flying Spanish galleon.

Spanish galleons

can weigh 1200 tons.

Good luck today.

We just have to find the right wood.

Something light but strong.

- Morning, Kate.

- Pine, cedar, maybe birch.

Catch.

From my farm.

If you like it, I can get you a bushel.

Trouble with Mr. Hughes?

There's too much Howard Hughes

in Howard Hughes.

That's the trouble.

Beautiful.

Don't you take Christmas off?

Nice to see you.

Sorry, I've got grease on my hands.

Have we got something to show you.

Take a look. The XF-11

reconnaissance flier. Spy plane, really.

Designed every inch of her myself.

She's got a top speed of 450...

...which means she can outrun

anything they throw against her.

After the Japs stole

my H-1 design for their Zeros...

...I needed to do them one better.

Yeah, she's my Buck Rogers ship.

She's a looker.

Okay, what do you got for me?

Jiminy Cricket.

Seating capacity for 60.

Wingspan, 123 feet.

Four Double Cyclone engines.

Her ceiling's 25,000 feet.

- Gross weight?

- 86,000, wing loading of 41 pounds.

So less drag on the plane in thinner air.

So high-cruise power, you're looking

at a top speed of around 340.

Giving her a range of about 3000 miles.

- Cross-country.

- Nonstop.

Bob...

...you know something?

You are a son of a b*tch.

Yeah. Bob, you got

something on your suit.

Yeah.

On your lapel.

You got something on your lapel.

Right there, Bob.

You missed it. Right there.

Clean it off, would you?

Here. Thanks.

No, throw it away.

No, over there.

Thanks. So, what do you call her?

The Constellation,

but we can change that.

No, no.

It's pretty. I like her.

So, what kind of deal can you give me?

What kind of deal can you give me?

The first 40 planes off the assembly line.

That should give us about

two years' exclusivity.

Hell, more than that.

United and American don't have

the imagination for a plane like this.

Two years ahead of Juan Trippe, then.

How much?

Four hundred and fifty thousand each.

So that's 18 million for the first 40.

Hell, TWA can't afford that.

The damn airline's flat broke.

Guess I'll just have

to pay for them myself.

Build them, Bob.

Send the bill to Noah Dietrich.

Oh, and thank you.

Merry Christmas.

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