Moving Page #3

Synopsis: Meet Arlo Pear! He's a family man with a loving wife, a rebellious daughter, twin sons, and a half-dead dog, he's also got a nice job with the city in New Jersey. He's a mass transit engineer. But one day Arlo is fired so he must try to get another job. He finds a similar one to his old one, except it's in Boise, Idaho. Sounds good to Arlo, so he can finally get away from his insane neighbor who has a lawn mower the size of Pennsylvania. Only problem, how to break it to the family? The decision is soon made: they're moving. Now they've got to sell their house which has hilarious results, so now they need to get movers. Two former cons now movers show up with King Kong Bundy. Now, they gotta find a new house in Idaho. They soon find their dream house, so they return to New Jersey and head off to Boise. Arlo hires a man (Dana Carvey) to drive his SAAB to Idaho, not knowing he's a man of eight personalities. And if that isn't bad enough, their new house is not what they expected, and thei
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Alan Metter
Production: Warner Home Video
 
IMDB:
6.1
Metacritic:
36
R
Year:
1988
89 min
624 Views


you've seen 'em all.

Well, could we

have a look at it?

Look at that? Jesus!

It's just a--just

a storage area now,

you know,

washing machine, dryer.

Well, we'd still

like to see it.

Oh, but, no!

You see,

it's a mess.

It's--damn watch!

Is there a problem

with the basement?

No, there's

no problem

with the basement,

except to be honest

with you, uh,

the door is stuck.

It's been stuck

for 6 months.

I've tried

to open it.

You can't open it.

Well, let--

but you can't.

Well, I'll just

give it a try.

I know you'll

give it a try--

here, I'll just--

well, I'll just--

wow!

That's--honey!

Well, uh,

we should've had you

here 6 months ago.

At least.

Well,

we're going.

Yeah, let's

have a look.

Well, this is

the garage door.

And the basement

is really dry...

Oh, my God.

Who's that?

Oh, that's

our daughter Casey.

Hi, honey.

These are the Seegers.

We'll be taking the washer

and dryer with us.

What are you doing

to this child?!

Oh...

She's a student.

It's

a class project.

Class project?

Yeah. She's studying

sensory deprivation.

She's doing

a damn good job.

She's gonna get

an "a."

Aren't you, dear?

We'll be

out of your way

in just a minute,

sweetheart.

Yeah. Uh-huh.

Come on this way.

This here

is the storage room.

Well, Mr. pear,

now, uh...

About your asking price.

Yes, um,

how firm is it?

Ahem.

Well, we have had

other interest.

Heh heh. But we'd be

willing to consider

anything,

say, within 5%.

My God.

Uh, of course,

that is negotiable.

Arlo?

Frank, what in the hell

are you doing here?

Hey, neighbor.

I saw the car

parked out front.

Somebody looking

at the house?

Yes, they are. Uh...

Can you come back

in 10 minutes, please?

Just thought

I'd say hi.

That's the kind

of guy I am.

They're showing

a snuff film

on cable, Frank.

Why don't you

check it out?

Frank, don't go

in the house.

Frank. Frank.

Mrs. pear.

Hi. I-I'm Frank Crawford.

Hi. I live right next-door.

Larry Seeger.

This is my wife Cleo.

Hi.

Cleo.

Oh, what

a beautiful name.

You know, one of

the, uh, women

that I work with

at the teen center

is named Cleo.

Get him out of here!

Ok.

Cleo:
Really?

Frank:
Mm-hmm.

Frank has to

be going now.

Do you play golf,

Larry?

Larry:
Well, I try.

Well, you know,

there's a new course

that just opened up

down the road.

And maybe you and me,

we could break it in

together sometime.

Oh...

It's a deal.

Oh, I almost forgot.

It's--heh--

a little welcome

to the neighborhood

gift.

Aren't you sweet.

It's a bundt cake.

Mmm...

It's, uh...

My mother's recipe.

Cleo:
Thank you.

Larry:
Say, Arlo,

how much did you pay

this guy to come over?

Ha ha ha.

Frank?

Oh, I couldn't

pay him enough,

could I, Frank?

Money? No, thanks.

Uh, listen, Frank,

could I talk to you?

Certainly, neighbor.

I'm at your disposal.

So, if you'll

excuse us.

Uh-huh.

Very nice meeting you--

oh, heh--

meeting you both.

And, um...

Real pleasure.

You go ahead.

Nice to meet you.

Nice meeting you, too.

I'm gonna do

a little refurbishing

on the house, so, uh,

I hope it won't

disturb you.

Oh, come on.

Don't forget

it's a date.

Oh, yeah, we--

right there.

Mrs. pear.

Frank! Come here!

Jesus Christ!

What are you doing?!

I'd say I'm selling

your house.

Why?!

Because you people

bore me.

I want you out!

I crave new blood.

Ain't you gonna

peel that?

I know what's in it.

Jesus,

that's disgusting.

- Mr. pear.

- Hi.

Arlo, we've

talked it over,

and we'd like to

make you an offer.

Oh, that's great.

Great!

Mom, we're coming back

as soon as we find a house.

We're not gonna

go stay this time.

Randy:
May we have

our own bedroom?

Marshall:

Can we buy this one?

We're gonna do

the best we can

to get you

your own room,

but I need the book.

We gotta go.

Come on, guys. Unh.

Oh! Pull!

There you go.

Hey, take care

of your sister, ok?

She's not

feeling well.

Ok.

I'll see you guys.

Ok, bye.

Oh, mother,

thank you.

We really

appreciate this.

Come on, dear.

We gotta get going.

We're gonna be late.

See you, dad.

Take care, ok?

I don't even know

where Idaho is.

Monica:
Sounds perfect.

It's "4 bedrooms,

sunken living room,

with fireplace,

needs some work."

And this, naturally,

is the living room.

Probably your dream house,

isn't it, dear?

Of course,

you'd probably

decorate it

differently.

Oh, yes. We'd get

bigger penises.

Oh, Arlo, this is great.

And they have 4 bedrooms.

Can you believe it?

You know how much

this place would cost

back in Jersey?

Oh, God.

Look at these windows.

My plants

are gonna love it here.

Oh, oh, I'm sorry.

We're taking

all the windows with us.

Oh, I'm kidding.

I'm kidding.

I'm a joker.

I'm a nut.

Come on in the kitchen.

I'll show you the kitchen.

Yeah, I built

these cabinets myself.

They're beautiful.

And tiles. Look.

And 2 sinks.

Yeah, unfortunately,

we're takin' 'em with us.

No, I'm kidding.

I'm kidding.

Oh, he's irrepressible.

I like your jokes,

but the listing

said something

about a new

heating system?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

That's right.

New furnace. Gas.

Forced hot air.

Very efficient.

Come on out

in the backyard.

Do you like

these doors?

I love 'em.

Sorry.

We're taking

all the doors with us.

His material sucks,

but I like his delivery.

I don't care, Arlo.

I want this house.

Arlo:
It's beautiful!

You know, I have lived

in 14 different houses

and I've never had

my own pool.

And I've

always wanted one

ever since

I was a little girl.

Well, sister, I've got

some bad news for you.

All:

We're taking it with us!

I really like

to joke, Roger,

but I'd like to talk to you

about financing this house.

Terrific, terrific.

Why don't we leave

the little ladies here,

you and I will go inside

and talk about it.

God, this is great,

Alice, great.

Thank you.

Well, we love it.

So you found

your dream house,

and right now

you're asking

first Boise

savings and loan

to give you a mortgage.

As you can see,

I've had the same job

for 15 years.

Well, that's very nice,

but it's not enough.

I mean, Al Capone

had the same job

for 30 years.

But we've never had

any problem with credit.

Oh, don't get me wrong.

I trust you.

We trust all our customers.

Why, this bank

was built on trust.

Here. Sign here.

You gotta get closer.

This pen is chained down.

Woman:
Mr. Hanks,

Mr. Wilson wants to

see you right away,

and he wants you to

bring all your records

for the last 5 years.

I'll be there

as soon as I can.

Whoo, I see you got twins.

Hey, I'm one of twins.

I'll tell you, though,

my twin brother,

he's not too smart.

I mean, last year,

he forgot my birthday.

Woman:

Mr. Wilson is waiting!

Is something wrong?

Oh, no, everything is ok.

Your application is fine.

But right now

I can't give you any money.

When can you

give us the money?

Mr. pear, are you

a gambling man?

No, I'm not.

Well, you are now.

Look, I'm gonna level

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Andy Breckman

Andrew Ross "Andy" Breckman (born March 3, 1955) is an American television and film writer and a radio personality on WFMU. He is the creator and executive producer of the Emmy Award-winning television series Monk on the USA Network, and is co-host of WFMU radio's long-running conceptual comedy program Seven Second Delay. He has written screenplays for a number of comedy films including Sgt. Bilko (starring Steve Martin) and Rat Race (directed by Jerry Zucker), and is frequently hired as a "script doctor" to inject humorous content into scripts written by other screenwriters. His production bio at USA Network says, "He has trouble making friends." more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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